Bachelor In Paradise - Season 3 - All Episodes - Discussions - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #3

Count me in as someone else who doesn't understand the Caila hate; from what we've been shown of her behavior compared to that of her "adversaries", I can only imagine it largely stems from the other women's jealousy (even though I usually hate to use that excuse). But all the guys were salivating over her when she first arrived, she seems to have it more together than the other women, both career-wise and intellectually, and yeah, she just comes across as classier/less trashy/less desperate (IMO) than most of the other women. Considering how vile/immature/nasty/selfish/shallow/delusional Ashley appears to be, it's a mystery why any of BN would be taking her side in this, or want to maintain a friendship with her, including, and especially, Jared. Maybe tonight's AP will shed some light on this weird dynamic.

From the start, I was rooting for Carly and Evan as a party of one, and am so glad to see I'm no longer alone in this. :Woah-hoo: They are perfectly weird together; I bet Evan even loved that crazy red lace outfit she had on. On the flip side, both Grace and Jam are so dysfunctional in different ways that there's no way those relationships are going to last. However, for the sake of Amanda's children, I hope that what we have been seeing of Josh is being exaggerated by the editing, and he's able to keep his temper in check more in real life. I'm actually not surprised at all that he and Amanda are so "crazy about each other"; a controlling man will always seek out a mouse to control, and the mouse wants to be controlled. Sad but true. It also totally explains why Andi, who is a lot of things but she is no mouse, would have been constantly pushing all his buttons (and not in a good way) and in retrospect, it's surprising that they even lasted as long as they did post show. That relationship no doubt was explosive and it's fortunate nobody ended up in the emergency room.

I think there was a lot more going on with Caila and the cast. But TB put it all on Ashley.. Well because they can and it makes it more interesting for TV.

I don't trust anyone that goes on this show. They are all a bunch of wack jobs. The all deserve every ounce of criticism they are getting. (minus the death threats of course)

I agree @ironcat, quite frankly, I'm shocked Josh and Andi didn't escalate to physical violence, from both sides. And Amanda, I just don't know what her family and friends could possibly be thinking about all this, considering he's already living with her and 2 young girls 2 months into the relationship.

None of the cast has said anything, though. I don't care about AI's ott crying, but her slandering Caila is all from her own mouth, on and off the show, no editing there. If Caila had done something that warranted this, it would've been spilled at least to RS. IMO.

siena wrote:I'm kind of intrigued too why Alex would be having conversations about Caila with people he's only met once. There's talk about not trusting Caila but no-one ever provides any actual reasons. The girls from Ben's season have had a long time to come up with something concrete and all we got from Emily was that Caila is "too perfect" and that it makes her appear "fake". And all the mean clique have been able to come up with is that Caila didn't like Jared as much as he liked her, as though this is something scandalous. It'll be interesting to see After Paradise if anything more comes out, but I'm guessing neither will say anything bad.

Although there's people in the franchise who seem to have an issue with Caila, all of the people from Afterbuzz who had met her said she seemed nice and sweet. Emma and Claire from the HuffPo podcast really like Caila and have stood up for her. IMO she's just not suited to the people in this franchise, and I kind of like that about her.

I think people are kind of ignoring the obvious reason some find Caila untrustworthy. She told Ashley she wasn't going to Paradise and even if she did, she wasn't interested in Jared in any way. Then the first thing she does after arriving in Paradise, supposedly on a 2 days' notice, is ask out Jared. Now regardless of how silly it might be of Ashley to even ask Caila to stay away from Jared, the fact of the matter is that Caila made a promise she couldn't keep. She may just be a people pleaser, but that doesn't change the fact that she said one thing and did the complete opposite. That doesn't exactly inspire trust. She also had to have known what was coming. That's probably why I find it hard to join the Caila pity party. If it was some random girl, who didn't know the extent of Ashley's obsession with Jared and hadn't made any promises, getting hated on for taking out Jared, I'd be more sympathetic, but the situation as it is just seems so high schoolish. Caila knew Ashley was coming sooner or later, she knew how obsessed with Jared she was, she'd promised to stay away from Jared, so how did she expect to avoid drama? I'd understand her more if she'd really liked Jared from the start, but she said herself on her blog that there were no butterflies when they met, just a nice chat. It just seems like going back on her word based on nothing but a nice chat didn't even make her flinch, which is a bit weird when you compare it to her indecision over going out with Brett. I'm not saying it excuses the bullying and trash talking in any way, I'm just saying that Ashley does have a reason to not trust Caila's word, and I find it unreasonable to expect her to just be all cool about it and stay friends as if nothing happened. If their friendship really was as important to Caila as she made it seem in that talk with Ashley last night, I think she would've been a bit more apprehensive about breaking her promise. Whether she should've made that promise is neither here or there, it's the principle of being consistent with your words and actions. Maybe this will be a valuable life lesson for Caila as well and she'll think twice about any promises she makes in the future. Don't say things just because it's what you think people want to hear.

IA @mindless. I am not on Ashley's side in this argument but I won't be on Caila's either. Girl code is important and she broke that IMO. Just because Ashley is this basket case drama queen, it doesn't excuse Caila to justify her action in breaking a promise. Her word has little value now. On Ashley and Wells date, he asked her how it felt with the whole Jared situation and Ashley said what was most difficult was everyone's disregard that there was actual history between them. It wasn't just a showmance of Ashley pining after Jared. There were actual feelings and moments between her and Jared, and Caila disregarded them last night by telling her that Jared loves her like a sister. She doesn't know Jared, she hasn't spent a year with him getting to know him outside of this show, therefore what place is it of hers to chalk up Jareds feelings for Ashley? IMO, that comment was textbook mean girl.

^ bc Jared has said on multiple occasions that he doesn't have those feelings for Ashley?

I don't give a chit what Caila promised Ashley. She and lapdogs are making too big a deal of this and they're all in desperate need of lives beyond this.

And girl code is a laughable concept on this show considering all these losers came off the main show where they develop friendships with women who are after the same man.

If he didn't have those feelings for Ashley then why was he sending her roses, and why has he not cut the cord all this time? Ashley wrote in her recap that Jared had left the door open for them to possibly get back together in the future. It's apparent by the fact that he has still strung her along. And regardless, Caila knew Jared for what, 4 days? It's not her place to speak for Jared.

Yeah, I am a big believer in girl code IRL but girl code and man code dont apply to these eskimo bros and sisters on the show. Puleeze.

^ as Jared's publicly proclaimed love interest, its not out of place for her to set the boundaries

loveactually9 wrote:^ as Jared's publicly proclaimed love interest, its not out of place for her to set the boundaries

We will have to agree to disagree on this.