The Bachelorette - Season 12 - JoJo Fletcher - Epi 11 - Aug 1st - FRC- *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

I think younger people, in general, are way too caught up in SM and put a whole different level of importance on it. They have grown up with it, and they have become accustom to gaining validation from others through it. I actually find that this could be very dangerous on a psychological level. Catering to the wants and needs of the masses instead of captaining your life from within.

I, as an old fart, feel fortunate that I was never indoctrinated to worship at the altar of FB, Twitter, Snapshat, IG, etc. I have never felt left out of the loop on anything of importance in life or unloved because I don't have (enough) 'friends' or 'followers'. I am neither a Prophet nor a Disciple. 

You cannot sell a piece of your soul (and that is what I consider loss of privacy to be) in order to gain something (notoriety, profit, accolades) and then be upset when the fickle tide of public opinion bites you in the a$$. It's a risk versus benefit thing. I would never be willing to go down that path, keep my SM open to the public, if I felt it was detrimental to my own health and happiness. If something bothers you that much - turn it off. If you want to be marketable as a shill and, therefore, you need to garner more followers, then just know it is a job, and as such, it will be a chore to deal with the general public and opinions.

Ladybug82 wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:If they truly felt they have nothing to prove, then it shouldn't have been difficult to ignore negative SM IMHO.

I both agree and disagree.  I think for the most part, the two of them kept their interactions on SM to a minimum which helped.  And I often find myself saying when SM is discussed that all the people have to do it make their personal account private to avoid and ignore.  But I also think that even if their account had been, it would not have stopped the masses on SM from attacking thanks to RS, rag mags, and even the shows edit.  Because the negative was everywhere and even if they didn't say it or tag them directly, it's still out there.  And as much as you ignore things at times, it doesn't necessarily go away, it's still there in the background like a bad headache.

They chose to go on the show so dealing with it is their problem.  And I normally don't feel sorry for them, but I'm sure having to choose to ignore it and keep it in the background can get old fast, too.  I wouldn't want to deal with it, but I wouldn't go on the show and put myself in that position in the first place.  And as much as I tried to ignore it or be thick skinned about it, I'm sure it would eventually wear a little.  Not that I'd personally care about people's opinions I didn't know, but the constant negative would be what bothered me personally.  JMOAA

I think most contestants realize that the media/sm madness is part of the gig, but somehow don't think it will be too bad for them. We can ALL be sensitive - I've seen these boards get heated when someone feels misunderstood or attacked - it's just human nature. SM gives a venue to those who want to vent and tear down others with anonymity, just as it gives a venue to express love and support for folks we really don't know. We are fortunate to have mods who react and bring things back in line when we get off track but most of the SM world doesn't.

nd4reality wrote:I don't see it but what do I know ? I see a lot of love and support for them.

I think the problem might be that JoJo is the baby and is use to everyone doting on her.  Giving her a lot of attention.  I get the feeling that she is not accustomed to hearing negative things about her and it has been hard for her to accept that she is not everone's little princess.  I like JoJo but I do think she can act spoiled.

MiaHawk wrote:I think younger people, in general, are way too caught up in SM and put a whole different level of importance on it. They have grown up with it, and they have become accustom to gaining validation from others through it. I actually find that this could be very dangerous on a psychological level. Catering to the wants and needs of the masses instead of captaining your life from within.

I, as an old fart, feel fortunate that I was never indoctrinated to worship at the altar of FB, Twitter, Snapshat, IG, etc. I have never felt left out of the loop on anything of importance in life or unloved because I don't have (enough) 'friends' or 'followers'. I am neither a Prophet nor a Disciple. 

You cannot sell a piece of your soul (and that is what I consider loss of privacy to be) in order to gain something (notoriety, profit, accolades) and then be upset when the fickle tide of public opinion bites you in the a$$. It's a risk versus benefit thing. I would never be willing to go down that path, keep my SM open to the public, if I felt it was detrimental to my own health and happiness. If something bothers you that much - turn it off. If you want to be marketable as a shill and, therefore, you need to garner more followers, then just know it is a job, and as such, it will be a chore to deal with the general public and opinions.

I very much agree with this. 
However, I know so many 20-30 yr olds who also agree. They are too busy living their lives to tweet, IG, snapchat etc.  They aren't even interested in coming to this site. 

I'll admit to being on Twitter and Instagram far too much. I think some rely on it for their identity far too much. There is a balance that can be had. I think being on snapchat 24/7 or periscoping all the time take it to another level.

JoJo is sensitive and spoiled. It's no wonder that she had a hard time dealing with the criticism and negativity. You gotta have a thick skin to deal with it. That, a sense of humor, and a block button makes things easier to deal with.

I'm in my 40's and at time SM is my little getaway. Most of my SM is on this site and that is saying a lot. I like my reserve nature and at times the imp inside acts up and she's let out to play

umngirl wrote:I'll admit to being on Twitter and Instagram far too much. I think some rely on it for their identity far too much. There is a balance that can be had. I think being on snapchat 24/7 or periscoping all the time take it to another level.

JoJo is sensitive and spoiled. It's no wonder that she had a hard time dealing with the criticism and negativity. You gotta have a thick skin to deal with it. That, a sense of humor, and a block button makes things easier to deal with.

I think therein lies the crux of her issues. As F2 getting the support they do, it's all abut kissey faces and thank yous. As F1 depending on who you choose, things can change. It might be hard for her to have a thick skin because she was never challenged that way . It can make or break her but it's up to her imo. Life lessons suck at times but she chose this life of a reality star. There is a downside to it too.

babs wrote:

nd4reality wrote:I don't see it but what do I know ? I see a lot of love and support for them.

I think the problem might be that JoJo is the baby and is use to everyone doting on her.  Giving her a lot of attention.  I get the feeling that she is not accustomed to hearing negative things about her and it has been hard for her to accept that she is not everone's little princess.  I like JoJo but I do think she can act spoiled.

I did not like JoJo's behavior with her parents. I also saw a bit of the mask come off during the ATFR. I still like her but am disappointed. Jordan was in rare form last night. As far as I can tell he got the JOB he wanted and will tap dance with the girl for awhile cause he does like her...but.

GuardianAngel wrote:

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:If they truly felt they have nothing to prove, then it shouldn't have been difficult to ignore negative SM IMHO.

I think that had more to do with the hurtful comments IMO. Like people saying he didn't love her and all this other stuff.

I'm sorry but I will never understand any one of these contestants that have the need to be stressed out over negative SM. If the relationship is strong, it should't matter what people you don't even know think of you. It's all the way that it's handled that tells me the story. She had a hissy fit and called out whatever that rag mag was and said it's all garbage. Yelled when she said it. Who was she trying to convince? The audience, herself, whatever. I would be laughing at it. JMHO

I think we have to remember that no matter how strong these relationships may be, they're only the start of a relationship. By the time of the proposal these people have spent a whopping few hours alone together and they don't get much time together while the show is airing either. There's always a period at the start of a relationship when you don't quite know if you can fully trust each other, simply because you don't even know each other. Trust is something that needs to be earned. Now imagine reading all kinds of rumours about your new fiance, some of the accusations coming from actual exes, so called insiders etc. Then everyone and their cat has a opinion on it, which they feel the need to share all over SM. No matter how good your relationship may feel to you, all that negativity is bound to mess with your mind to some extent. Based on their interviews it seems they've already moved past it though and now they're moving in together. If there are any questions left then they will surely be answered in due time.

I am still don't get this ending. I am still nonplussed.
I'm calling upon @Kashathediva  to lay it all out to me in 3 bullet points. Please and TIA.

I never saw the love with Emily and Jef. I always remember the video from their People shoot when someone called cut and he dropped his arms off her like she was a hot potato.

I guess Jordan being here in Dallas vs Nashville doesn't really matter for his new job as long as he's willing to fly. I wonder what he would have done if he wasn't f1?

albean99 wrote:I never saw the love with Emily and Jef. I always remember the video from their People shoot when someone called cut and he dropped his arms off her like she was a hot potato.

I guess Jordan being here in Dallas vs Nashville doesn't really matter for his new job as long as he's willing to fly. I wonder what he would have done if he wasn't f1?

IMO moved anyway. Perhaps temporary during season.