Jared Haibon - Bachelorette 11 -BIP - Season 3 - Discussion

Watching last night was painful. When Caila was speaking to Jared about their relationship, she came across as so real and sensible and very kind. Jared also seemed to be so relieved when Ashley was gone on her fake date and seemed so happy to have Caila all to himself without having to look over his shoulder to where Ashley is. If he has been watching the same show as I have, I just don't understand how he could continue on with Ashley. She is the furthest thing from a friend there is. With friends like her, who needs enemies. No sane woman would involve herself with him as long as he maintains any kind of contact with that psych stalker.

It is just like watching the movie "Fatal Attraction" all over again.  Maybe we should send him the link to the movie.  

@Sprite I really don't understand either. Caila and Jared had such a sweet and genuine interaction during that conversation, I could see why they continued to date outside of BIP. Jared keeping AshleyI as a friend is such a massive mistake, and he will not be able to move forward in any relationship as long as he stays tethered to her IMO. I think it's indicative of work he still needs to do on himself. He should start sooner rather than later.

IMO, it looks like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I don't know about Jared's life prior to doing these shows ... maybe he never had much attention with the ladies and now he is over compensating. He's probably flattered and likes that Ashley is obsessing over him and his needs. I don't think for a second he is attracted to her physically or even takes her seriously. But whatever weird relationship they both have is working for them and sadly they both don't see the problem.

Jared wants Caila, but he also wants Ashley's obsessiveness that strokes his ego. JMO.

MiniDiva wrote:It is just like watching the movie "Fatal Attraction" all over again.  Maybe we should send him the link to the movie.  

Alex (Fatal Attraction):
"I'm not going to be ignored, Dan Jared."

source

^^LOL GA!

Jared probably never heard of this movie which came out in 1987 before he was even born in 1989 -- maybe he needs to be educated on the practice of boiling bunnies.  

siena wrote:I'm seriously wondering whether Jared watched Ashley's Millionaire Matchmaker and if that would've had any impact on him. If he's watched all of that and the last few episodes of BIP, and then goes on After Paradise and defends Ashley then I am at a loss for words. And if Caila and Jared are both on AP I really hope he finally says something in support of Caila since he's been so silent on twitter. The blame for the end of the relationship also shouldn't just go on Caila. Jared is the one who still went away with Ashley even after all of this mess!

It's very clear that Jared's continued association with AshleyI is going to hinder him until he cuts that cord once and for all. At this point he's looking worse and worse the longer he keeps those ties. Jared keeps saying that Ashley is a good friend. I think she's been a terrible friend to him and has never cared about his personal happiness. How he doesn't see that boggles my mind. I think Jared and Ashley are so toxic together and the sooner they end this dynamic the better for everyone.

Sprite wrote:Watching last night was painful. When Caila was speaking to Jared about their relationship, she came across as so real and sensible and very kind. Jared also seemed to be so relieved when Ashley was gone on her fake date and seemed so happy to have Caila all to himself without having to look over his shoulder to where Ashley is. If he has been watching the same show as I have, I just don't understand how he could continue on with Ashley. She is the furthest thing from a friend there is. With friends like her, who needs enemies. No sane woman would involve herself with him as long as he maintains any kind of contact with that psych stalker.

dee wrote: Jared wants Caila, but he also wants Ashley's obsessiveness that strokes his ego. JMO.

I so agree with all the bolded.  If Jared comes out tonight on AP after watching this whole thing back and all of Ashley's ITM and doesn't publicly on national television clearly state she is not someone he wants as a friend I will be so disappointed in him.  Ashley, IMO, deserves to be publicly cut off and called out by on of her "friends" for really crappy treatment of people.  Jared really needs to do it to look like the decent guy I think he is and realize her adoration isn't cute or fun anymore but really at a point of being unhealthy and weird IMO.  Caila is just so above the fray in this I'm sure she'll stay as classy as she has been. IMO.

I agree @relaxing. At this point Jared needs to publicly cut off Ashley, clearly and decisively. I will be really disappointed if he defends Ashley's actions on AP after seeing everything he has seen. The fact that he's said nothing on twitter doesn't bode well though. It's gone so far beyond "I just care about Ashley as a friend" and into an incredibly toxic dynamic that IMO hurts everyone around them. It isn't doing anyone any favours keeping this "friendship" alive.

Jared will have his chance to speak out tonight if he so chooses.  If he doesn't, I hope they escort him directly from the show to a de-tox program.

MiniDiva wrote:Jared will have his chance to speak out tonight if he so chooses.  If he doesn't, I hope they escort him directly from the show to a de-tox program.  

......and close out his SM. I think it will be brutal for him if he doesn't come through and redeem's himself. He has been given the benefit of the doubt, leading up to tonight's AP in anticipation of what he will say. We shall see how he does.

Well Jared has completely lost all my respect. He didn't stand up for Caila at all. He defended AshleyI, and he refuses to end their friendship. In fact he was the one who contacted her when they stopped speaking. Why would any woman want to stick around for that? So disappointed, but I guess his silence spoke volumes.

Wuss wuss wuss.
Regardless Caila deserves a man and not spaghetti.