Jordan Rodgers - Bachelorette 12 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #5

JMOAA: Cheating is a behavior one uses to rationalize. 
I will cheat on this test, because I need to pass. 
I will cheat on this person because she is not meeting my needs. 
I will cheat on this project because I need a promotion. 
I will cheat on this __________to get back at __________.
Cheating rationalizes the behavior/the need/want.
Yes, people can change, however once a behavior is used and gives the desired reward it is stored in our brain. Neurotransmitters/brain chemistry, all that jazz.  
People resort to the coping mechanisms that work for them. 
So when confronted with similar situations, it becomes easier to deal with those situations with past successful coping mechanisms--rationalization. 
That is one reason there are serial cheaters. Cheating is a sad way of coping in certain stressful situations.
People can always change, but there is a reason the saying is: "...the courage to change the things I can".

Kashathediva wrote:JMOAA: Cheating is a behavior one uses to rationalize. 
I will cheat on this test, because I need to pass. 
I will cheat on this person because she is not meeting my needs. 
I will cheat on this project because I need a promotion. 
I will cheat on this __________to get back at __________.
Cheating rationalizes the behavior/the need/want.
Yes, people can change, however once a behavior is used and gives the desired reward it is stored in our brain. Neurotransmitters/brain chemistry, all that jazz.  
People resort to the coping mechanisms that work for them. 
So when confronted with similar situations, it becomes easier to deal with those situations with past successful coping mechanisms--rationalization. 
That is one reason there are serial cheaters. Cheating is a sad way of coping in certain stressful situations.
People can always change, but there is a reason the saying is: "...the courage to change the things I can".

The question is "is Jordan a serial cheater or it was a one time thing "?

On show the only relationship(serious) he has acknowledged is his relationship with Brittany, which tells me the other were just casual dating like what people do on tinder(Raya).

People are capable of growing, maturing and changing indeed... but IMO not overnight. Only time will tell if jordan is a new man. For me the battle is not won. Too many red flags about cheating, liar, fame seeker to just trust that meeting a girl for such a short time together, half in front of a dozen of people is the ideal way to change. Yes there are SHV. But IMO it is fun to play james bond. The REAL test for me will be if their couple (if couple) stand this coming winter, if they live together too. If jojo decides to move with him and there is no cheating rumors or else around him. Then I will gladly eat my words and be full of admiration and happy for them. Meanwhile, I am in the empty side of half full half empty.

just my opinion. TY

IMO we don't really know the truth about these people. We are all making a heck of a lot of judgements based on information available but not all may be true.

JMO

I'm not saying he has or has not cheated. There is no way for me to know and there are always many sides to stories.
However, this is a discussion thread and all is fair discussion material within the site rules.

nd4reality wrote:IMO we don't really know the truth about these people. We are all making a heck of a lot of judgements based on information available but not all may be true.

JMO

then maybe the message was not understood with those ladies and that is a problem (quoting himself). If one people think it is is more than casual, then communication was not clear. If it is one person, fine. He cannot be responsible of all the hook up he had collected from club. Raya is another matter I think. I believe like any other dating service, the profile has to state what the person is looking for.
How many men use the same line as: you are the one to just have sex with? How many women fell into this line? Oooo but I am sure that a lot of women were happy to just have a fling with him because it is their lifestyle. But obviously some are bitter still today, still years after to express how hurt they were during their long or short relationship with him. And that is for me very telling that he was not a decent man.

Again, just my opinion. TY

That's what makes the world go 'round. Different opinions and subjectivity. 
The word "decent" alone is interesting. 
There have been past men and women considered decent leaders, educators etc who were well known womanizers/manizers(is that a word?).

^^ yes kasha. my meaning is not decent aka not trustful.

Worse is a generational predisposition. Such as the Kennedys.
We can give all kinds of scenarios, but the bottom line it's usually
a matter of growing up. Your 20's is the decade of decisions. 
JoJo and Jordan will figure it out, as Mom said. Without her
policing 24/7 giving passes etc. I prefer looking at this couple
as winning! Time tells all. Here's to good choices. 

My mental image of whom I am thinking of was a trusted leader. He was considered a great person on many fronts and still is in our modern culture. In my generation, he was many a persons hero at one time. 
Yet, he is now known to have been quite the womanizer. His inner circle was well aware of his wiley ways. 
I guess what I am trying to point out is things are seldom black and white.

Sorry, but if you hook up with a man looking for sex and get mad you are just a fling that crazy is on you not him.

I know personally I had a man I was just seeing for sex for a while and being me I did grow to have feelings at which point we ended. It was not his fault that the situation I agreed to led me to have feelings he never agreed to. It would be easy to be mad at him when in fact that was all on me. And I can tell you the majority of my gfs were on board with him being awful when in fact he did nothing wrong. Neither of us did. So yeah, these things can snowball quickly. And the guy often gets painted as bad when he in fact did nothing wrong. JME and JMO.