The Bachelorette - Season 12 - JoJo Fletcher - Social Media - Media - Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* - #4

https://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/nation/best-chad-quotes-the-bachelorette

56 Priceless Chad Quotes From This Season of 'The Bachelorette'


It's completely possible that there has never been a Bachelorette antihero quite so wonderful as Chad.

His unique combination of menace, deltoids, used-car salesmanship, cold cuts, and neckbeard has propelled him to become arguably the most important, most watchable thing this show has ever presented. And now he's gone.

Except he's not, of course, thank God. He's just lurking outside everyone's front door RIGHT NOW.  

In lieu of a full recap, and anticipating his treacherous return, BatchSlap presents the 56 finest Chad quotes from the four episodes during which he reigned, atop the mountain -- the Chad-bear in its natural habitat:

Chad, on how things work:
“If I want JoJo, I will get her.”

Chad, on courtship:
"To a beautiful girl, a beautiful life; **** you guys, I'm gonna make her my wife."

Chad, on the time-space contradictions that surround him:
"These guys are acting like really old, worn-out-looking... high school kids."

Chad, on how old Nissan Sentras can get you the girl:
"Back when I was a car salesman, I used to have people look at the worst cars before I would show them my good cars."

Chad, on who's really dangerous out there:
"I always warn girls, I always say: stay away from the nice guys."

Chad, on blenders, and the men in them:
"If you're making a protein shake, made of the group of dudes here, and, y'know, blended it up... half that dude-protein-shake would have zero chance with JoJo."

Chad, on the guy who got naked in Episode 1, his only friend:
"I think you're cool, man. I'm glad I met you."

Chad, on patience:
"You've gone a full LIFE without seeing JoJo. You can't wait a couple... like, a day? You can chill. She'll be here. She's not gonna disappear. She's not going to get on a jet and fly away to Malaysia."

 Chad, on why he didn't think he needed to tell JoJo why he likes her:
"I feel like, in that moment, you should already know that?"

Chad, on bad starts to fake relationships:
"You're starting off a little naggy here. If I'm getting nagged, I'm gonna say something."

Chad, on Hollywood:
"Forgive me if I'm not going to be fake. I'm not an actor. You look like you are right now, so that's cool."

Chad, on who's in the house for the wrong reasons:
"I feel like everyone, man. Ya'll don't know her yet, you can't be in love with her. Is this the first beautiful girl you've ever seen? You don't have TV? You don't have magazines?!?!"

Chad, on being financially ready for a relationship:
"Financially, I'm ready for a relationship."

Chad, on the vertically challenged:
"She's gonna keep Alex around because she doesn't want America to think she hates short people."

Chad, on plans:
"I'm gonna have some protein shakes, keep working out, keep eating the food, and continue to do what I do. And at the end of the day, I'm going to get the girl."

Chad, on those promises we make while drinking heavily but never follow through on:
"My goal was to get to doing pull-ups with my body weight strapped to me."

Chad, on why he doesn't want to go on this date:
"I don't want to go with 12 guys. That's too many guys."  

Chad, on whether or not Evan should keep talking:
"Evan, stop talking."

Chad, on what happens if Evan doesn't chill out:
"You're gonna ******** die if you don't chill out."

Chad, on Chad, as Chad walks past a mirror:
"Whoaa, hey, buddy!!"  

Chad, on using unconventional tools for lawn maintenance:
"No girl on Planet Earth ever chooses Evan... for anything... other than to come, like, sweep their front yard."

Chad, on pool parties and what men see at them:
"I don't get why they're all happy with each other, and they're gonna be all happy to see her in a bathing suit. I'd be happier having her not be in a bathing suit, so they couldn't see her in a bathing suit. I know what she probably looks like, I can tell through her dress."  

Chad, on approaches that might be received well:
"I don't want to have to physically fight you, but if there's no way to stop you from saying what you're saying, then I will physically have to hurt you."

Chad, on what he's gonna do tomorrow:
"I'm going to cut everyone here's legs off, and arms off, and there's gonna be torsos, and then I'm gonna throw them in the pool."

Chad, on guy quality:
"You know like, you're a good guy, I'm sure, probably."

Chad, on why he did that:
"I did that because. You. Pushed. Me."

Chad, on impossibilities:
"I can't explain to you the reason you do the things you do, Evan."

Chad, on clotting issues:
"Apparently Evan just bleeds thinking about me."

Chad, on the house he’s staying in with all his buddies:
"It's actually pretty fun around here."

Chad, a la carte dining:
"So it's like, imagine me trying to figure out what restaurant you want to eat at. You know what I mean? I mean, you want ice cream, or you want steak?"

Chad, on who’s who:
"You got the bleeding crying sensitive guy with kids. And then you've got scared of people sensitive guy. This guy's over here here doing yoga."

Chad, on goals:
"Why can't everyone keep my name out of their mouths? Get your own lives."  

Chad, on what time it maybe is:
"Maybe I can just keep being chill, but I think apparently you have to take it TO THE LIMIT in order to get back cool again. So maybe it's game time."

Chad, on what guys like him are doing right now:
"Whatever guy like me stole your girlfriend or whatever, it wasn't me. I don't know you. I’ve barely talked to you, and honestly, you keep bringing me up."

Chad, on staying busy:
"I work, and I live my life."

Chad, on "will you accept this rose?":
"I do."

Chad, on the benefits of quiet:
"The only way I can get you to shut your mouth is to hit you in it."

Chad, on realistically evaluating his standing with JoJo:
"I'm feeling real confident in my relationship with JoJo. At this point, I think she's maybe saving me for last. I think she's gonna kinda run through all the other guys, and make sure there wasn't something there that she missed. And when she comes to me, she can be sure to know what she wants."

Chad, on nonviolence:
"I don't like getting into confrontations with people."

Chad, on how one should handle the Chad-bear:
"In other words, it is not a wise decision to poke the Chad-bear."

Chad, on what short guys dig:
"Alex is the type of guy that, the only way to get him to respect you, is to get physical."

Chad, on who's the spokesman for Chad's the censored:
"You're the spokesman right now, you're the spokesman for Chad's the censored."

Chad, on talking to Chad:
"You don't talk to me, you don't talk to me, you don't talk to me. At all. Not one word. Don't ask me advice, don't talk to me about my life."

Chad, on whether or not that's a stupid question:
"That's a stupid question."

Chad, on outdoor space:
"You wanna go outside, RIGHT NOW? Let's go outside, RIGHT NOW. Do YOU wanna go outside? Get up then. Go."

Chad, on popping into someone's house:
"You think this is a show. And you think you're safe, for now. But one day, this ends. And when this ends, you go home. When you go home you think I can't find you? You think I won't go out of my way, to come to your house? I'm dead ******** serious."

Chad, on residential real estate:
"Get the first out of the way. Nobody ever buys the first house they look at."

Chad, on dentistry:
"The best advice I can give him is to mind his own business and not bring up my name. If he can do that, things will go all right. And if not, I'll be taking his teeth home."

Chad, on Chad:
"I'm not an aggressive guy."

Chad, on contentment:
"I'm not very happy with you. I'm not very happy with you. With you. I'm not maaad... I'm just disappointed."

Chad, on the simple pleasures:
"Life ain't all blueberries and paper airplanes, you know what I mean?"

Chad, on dairy:
"Have a glass of milk, man, and chill out."

Chad, on dairy, again:
"Milk's DELICIOUS."

Chad, on who's in the castle:
"Pigs are in the castle."

Chad, on what JoJo is to him:
"She's fake, because, I can tell the way she talked to me, I can tell the way she looked at me, and I can tell the way she felt about me. She's either an actress, or she's a complete [THIS WAS BLEEPED OUT, DAMMIT, WHY WAS THIS BLEEPED OUT]. There's only two options there."

Chad, on hide-and-go-seek:
"Alex lied. He told her I threatened people. And you know what? Now I gotta go find Alex."

That is my favorite post of the day. :Nod:
I think I might have said many of those things before. Definitely similar:
Chad, on whether or not Evan should keep talking:
"Evan, stop talking."

Chad, on what happens if Evan doesn't chill out:
"You're gonna ******** die if you don't chill out."

Chad, on Chad, as Chad walks past a mirror:
"Whoaa, hey, buddy!!"

Some of Kasha's personal favs and something to add to my own repertoire:
Chad, on dentistry:
"The best advice I can give him is to mind his own business and not bring up my name. If he can do that, things will go all right. And if not, I'll be taking his teeth home."
Chad, on what he's gonna do tomorrow:
"I'm going to cut everyone here's legs off, and arms off, and there's gonna be torsos, and then I'm gonna throw them in the pool."
Chad, on clotting issues:
"Apparently Evan just bleeds thinking about me."--LOVED this one.

I've been saying this season after season about the Machine:
Chad, on who's in the castle:
"Pigs are in the castle."
Pigs are in the castle. They are. They are.

^^Chad has an ego problem for sure, but the stuff he said/says is hilarious. Can't deny that IMO.

Eh we all have egos.
I will have to remember this one: There are going to be torsos. Throw them in the pool. Call the pool company.
There are pigs in the castle. Throw them in the pool, too. Call the pool company.

And that is not scripted. Priceless. 

I'll say this, Chad sure knows how to get his point(s) across. Wonder who he will fancy on BIP? Too bad Ashley Salter is off the market. I bet there would be sparks if those two got together -- literally. Hmm, maybe Lace?
Anyway, to stay on topic for the thread, I will also say that Chad looks pretty darn good in his recent IG pics.

One more hilarious article about Chad. Enjoy reading......

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/06/my-husband-rooted-for-chad-on-the-bachelorette.html?mid=twitter_cut#

us magazine posted this! She is so beautiful!

Bachelorette Supervillain Chad Johnson Joins Bachelor in Paradise as Former Winner Josh Murray Comes to His Defense
http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20981907_21012160,00.html?xid=socialflow_twitter_peoplemag

Thanks Diana, for bringing over JoJo's pic. What a beauty!!!
Elon thank's for Chad and Josh's article. I'll watch just for that 

Diana wrote:
us magazine posted this! She is so beautiful!

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/jojo-fletcher-works-bikini-reveals-her-diet-secrets-watch-w209753?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Just for laughs, this picture below is hilarious. Jordan and Luke's reactions are priceless

https://instagram.com/p/BGfNiBpg_II/