Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

http://www.people.com/article/bachelorette-andi-dorfman-dating-she-wants-steady-relationship
Good luck with that at this rate any sensible man would run in the other direction. JMO

Toxic: Drama gives her a high. 
Just the kind of friend or significant other we are all looking for.

Who can relate to some of her andi-isms? Drama gives her a high - the feminist in me wanted to hit it and quit it, etc? I have kids, nieces and nephews (along with being around their friends) all Andi's age. None of them are anything like her - ever. Every time she is quoted in a statement, I am shaking my head saying Huh?

Andi is a pathetic mess, IMO. By trying to make others look bad, she only makes herself look worse - from class to trash.  If she really wants to feel empowered and defend the abuse of woman, she can use her celebrity status and donate the proceeds of her book to a woman's shelter that helps abused woman and children. Pay it forward Andi!  

JMO

sosleepy wrote:

Alanna wrote:Kim, ITA with you. I'm surprised at the outrage tbh because I don't find her as the only "bad" character in this play. I feel sympathy for her while also finding the whole thing trashy, bizarre and gross personally. It's a complicated mix of emotions

I agree with you, Alanna. I am shocked I find while reading this I don't hate Andi. She's by far my least favorite Bachelorette, and even writing this in the first place is tacky as crap. But ... I don't know. I find her kind of self deprecating and I'm not totally hating her. It's complicated! If even 5% of what she says about Josh is true (and I tend to say, yes), well... gross. I don't know. They were obviously toxic together.

Bleu- - YES! Get out of my head (per usual lately! ). I gave Andi a major side eye too about how she just *fell* into this franchise. She didn't know anything about it, didn't want to "lose her dignity" to do it, but everyone kept forcing her into it. Yeah freaking right! This isn't just an Andi problem, but so many formers are like "people nominated and begged me to do it! I didn't know what it was!" BS!!!!! If they didn't want to be cast, THEY WOULDN'T BE CAST!!!

Yep! I love how she didn't even MEAN to drive to the casting call. She found herself there. Kind of funny considering she loved it enough to leave her job and pursue this crap full time.

And anyone who has driven in Atlanta will tell you that you don't magically get anywhere. You sit in traffic all the time and curse the roadways. Total BS.

And for me this book is a big deal for multiple reasons. First she called Nick out for asking about the sex, yet she now is writing about sex with Josh and Nick, so she is a hypocrite. Second, nothing is her fault, like ever. If she took some blame maybe I could try to enjoy it, but she doesn't. Third, she lies and contradicts herself in the real life and it seems in the book itself. Finally, she uses feminism as a cloak for all her bad and self centered behavior. It is insulting to real women who work hard and fight to be equal. As a bonus, if Josh or Nick did this she would be crying victim.

Yes, yes, and yes.

So much that I agree with here. that I can't like you all enough.

Stuckinsc and Mustang19...great posts.

I will be curious to see if she learns anything from all of the negative responses she is getting. Based on her previous behaviour, I doubt it. She will focus on those kissing her a** and everyone else will be labeled those who are not fans....h*ters...seriously not allowing me to post that? Hopefully, it can be a wake up call to her parents and maybe, just maybe, they can stop enabling her. (Not holding my breath on that one either.)

When the attention from the book dies down, we will have a better idea where she is going with her life. BIP would not surprise me.

If you are able to get her book in your hand and read it . Her book is basically about talking more of #26. She wrote her experienced being with him for eight months. She talked how everything changed after her live finale and how #26 treated her like a poop. Although she admitted she hasn't physically abuse by #26 like mostly women treated with their husbands and boyfriends but she is mostly admitted she is emotionally abuse by him by calling her some names like whore , bitch and the never  ending issues about #25 that never resolve all along. I have to admit that there is no way #26 won't be blaming on this relationship. It is added what happened to their relationship also with his being jealous and controlling. But again I do think #26 has no right to call her those names when she is not doing something serious although I cannot blame him if he called her a whore at some point , just because maybe #26 was really hurting about her being dishonest with him about her sex with #25 when he asked her earlier before their live finale and did not tell him right away. I would think #26 live with his anger being with her . Anger inside of himself on his fiancee sex with #25. He kept the feeling of being betrayed all along. But again I think they are both have strong personality and a lot of growing up to do especially andi atleast after reading her book what I can see . jmo

I too finally finished the book this morning and I agree with all of you that feel this was a toxic relationship, but not necessarily an abusive one (unless mutually abusive, which to me is the same as toxic).  There were a few times I felt sympathy for Andi, but overall I just don't buy that she was a victim. Although I will not defend #26 from making certain comments, and realize he needs to work on his mistrust and control issues, I think he was likely as much of a victim of hers as she claims to have been of his.  It's just very suspicious to me what Andi has chosen to share and, more importantly, what she didn't share about the relationship and her own actions.  She glossed over too many details about her own behavior and tried to justify things on her end,  only highlighting #26's wrong doings. But I could see right through her and found myself questioning a lot of things she said. There were holes and contradictions and hypocrisy in many of her stories. She over dramatized some things IMO, just like she did with Eric on the show, and turned Josh into the villain and her the victim. She is delusional, I'm convinced. This is a very ones sided story about a couple that never should have been together, and she in her bitterness has tarnished the reputation of a man that I believe is still a very good person and wasn't deserving of this, just for revenge and her own selfish needs. This all should have just been kept private and she should have just moved on with her life, not looking back.

She doesn't seem capable of moving on with her life or keeping things private; she is stuck looking backward and IMHO will be stuck where she is for many many years. What a loser!!

I think by her writing this book she has tarnished herself more than she has tarnished Josh or any of the guys.

There's a reason why Confucius says. When planning revenge , dig two graves. Andi might epitomize that very well.