Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

Yes I remember . One of those he said in an Atlantic City event a few months after their September fight that Andi mentioned.

My opinion is if there was abuse it went both ways. I believe Josh called her a whore and I believe she probably called him something equally nasty before or right after. 

Everything we saw in public was Andi was difficult and mean and Josh was trying to smooth things over. I do think in private they both have as good as they got. To me labeling him as an abuser without labeling her as one is not fair.

I know verbal and emotional abuse, I lived it and was stuck in the middle of it before I knew it. And yes, leaving was hard and I resisted it. A real abuser makes you feel you have no value and that if they leave you you will be lost. So her not leaving isn't even indicative of not being abused, but I know that I didn't speak back or give it back, because if I did it was much worse. I see Andi as an equal instigator and I don't see her towering in fear or tip toeing around. 

I resent people who claim to be victims to justify their own short comings. Calling someone a whore does not alone make you an abuser, it makes you hot tempered and a dumb a**. And no one deserves to be called a whore, but you can push another human to the point of lashing out. And yes, they both should have left sooner if that is what it had come too.

Maybe Josh is abusive, but this one thing is not enough evidence to call him that IMO.

I just can not comprehend why Andi wrote this book. I think the break up was hard and she made some bad decisions, 1. to have sex with Nick 2. to lie to Josh 3. to write this book.  All of these are just really bad decisions.  Why in the world would she want this information public.  It makes her look foolish.  She graduated from law school, she has to be at least academically smart, but this is just foolish.  I feel a bit embarrassed and sorry for her and for her family.  I hate to see her self destruct like this.  I am not sure how she will recover.  I hope she gets some really good counseling and starts on a new path out of the spotlight.  All just my reactions to reading the news and the comments here.  I have not read the book.

^ I can't understand why too. What made her think that would look good on her for being such a hypocrite?

Honestly, I doubt she put much thought into the book (especially long term), other than the best way to throw guys 1-26 under the bus, run over them repeatedly and how much money she might possibly make.  

Sadly, I have a feeling plenty will buy this crap, but I'd love for it to be a big flop.  I feel like she needs something to kick her butt, open her eyes, bring her back to the real world and get her moving and motivated again. She's not my cup of tea, but she has potential, support and education to make something of herself and not just float along. JMO.

Ash2214 wrote:I'm not defending anyone because both of them have their issues, just like everyone else, but it probably wasn't best to tell Josh about Nick right before the episode aired. To be lied to by your new fiancé and then to have the guy she slept with share that information on live television must have been a double whammy.

He must have felt like an idiot defending her up and down in all of their immediate post show interviews they had to do knowing she had lied to him. I'm sure they're both at fault for the end of their relationship, but Andi just blows my mind. Andi - it's time to grow up and get some class.

probably better before than after

nannymargie wrote:Well whatever happened with Nick happened before she was engaged to Josh.  It might have been hard but Josh could have gotten pass that if he didn't keep thinking about it and if he really loved her.  Look Kaitlyn slept with Nick before the FD and Sean seems to have gotten over it and they are doing fine.

ITA NannyMargie. Two people who seemed more caught up in perceptions than in each other.

lovebites8727 wrote:I don't know how her book will do but she got so many followers and seem to love her . Who knows ?

Rumor is she pays for her fans.

Kashathediva wrote:SMH
He will get it up again --probably acid reflux after all the hullabaloo. 
Rhetorical question: Can anyone possibly explain a positive motive for this book? (I don't expect any answers)

SafronSahara wrote:I knew it! Josh put it down in the fantasy suite and Andi got d*ckmatized. It happens.

I think Andi wrote this book to regain the upper ground after having failed at a very public relationship. She was put on a pedestal by her parents and given every opportunity to be successful in life. Whammo - she and her chosen are dunzo and she failed. Boom! A tell all book that will redeem herself. Guess what Andi - failed again.

SueSt wrote:

nannymargie wrote:Well whatever happened with Nick happened before she was engaged to Josh.  It might have been hard but Josh could have gotten pass that if he didn't keep thinking about it and if he really loved her.  Look Kaitlyn slept with Nick before the FD and Sean seems to have gotten over it and they are doing fine.

ITA NannyMargie. Two people who seemed more caught up in perceptions than in each other.

IA it was the perception. I always think MeAndi picked Josh only because she has the idea of "in love with a Jock" her entire life, she loved the idea of it, not the person of who Josh is. And I still think she never loved him, especially now that she has no problem painting him with such a negative light, that doesn't scream "once in love with" at all.

I think MeAndi was more emotionally attracted to Nick but since he doesn't fit her typical jock type and he doesn't have some kind of "royal" status in her hometown, bringing Nick to the media round doesn't look as good, so she went for a jock, who she probably knew wasn't going to work. Well, we all know how stubborn she is.