The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - ATFR - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #3

I don't think Ben is much like Chad or others JoJo has dated. Ben's season was rated PG and I think JoJo's will be rated R. I also think that is one reason she was chosen over Caila. I personally did not find BenLo boring, but I have read many posts that thought they were. Imo guys that are there for JoJo are there to get to know her physically.

Fingersandtoes wrote:I'm hoping JoJo falls so hard for some guy that it knocks her off her feet and off chad and her brother's influence. Sweeps her off her feet and out of old bad habits.

Same. I admit to having some doubts about how sincere Joelle (not that it matters, but I wish they would call her that during her season! It's a pretty name IMO) will be throughout this process, as opposed to leads like, say, Sean, Ben H., Ashley and Des.

That doesn't mean she can't prove me wrong though, I'm willing to keep an open mind for now. Hopefully, she'll be able to find someone that's a genuine good fit for her.

stuckinsc wrote:

sosleepy wrote:So... We have to remember that like all of the contestants on Ben's season love JoJo. Ben, whether he was acting or real or whatever, genuinely seemed to get along with her at the very least, and I do tend to believe he had to actual feelings for her. Lauren was also friends with JoJo. She can't be that vile.

Yes, if JoJo is so bad then Ben must be a real idiot. I liked him and Lauren, but if he is the fake guy who told Kaitlyn ILY and then told JoJo another fake ILY, then maybe Lauren should run far and fast.

Funny thing is I actually disliked JoJo before season, but all I saw was a woman who let go of Ben nicely even through his multiple ILYs. Would it be better if she was acting like AshLee and crying all over the media how Ben led her on? She can't win, either she is completely acting fake or pathetic because she still wants Ben.

The ex is a douchebag who cheats on women and expects them to be waiting for him to change his mind. I kinda hope that JoJo used him to get over Ben. Would serve the cheating douchebag right.

JoJo used Ben to get the lead, just like Ben used Kaitlyn. BDD. JMO.

Per bolded..... Not necessarily. I remember the "other" perfect Bachelor telling Emily he loved her, so did people think Kat should have ran? I didn't get that feeling. Nothing surprises me on this show. It was very plain to see that JoJo still had feelings for her ex while on the show so why should she not put those to rest once she went home? I will never believe she was in love with Ben and maybe her pick this season will show people why. That being said, I think Chad got exactly what he deserved. People need to appreciate what they have and not think that the next best thing will come along any time. JMHO

IMO the whole situation of the ex not treating JoJo right when they were together, and then sending flowers over when she's trying to move on is really manipulative and douchy. If JoJo went back to him after filming stopped, IMO it says how not in a good place she's at, being pulled back with his manipulations. IMO if you want to start a good new relationship, you have to be in a good space in your own life, and IMO JoJo isn't. But it is what it is, so many other leads are the same. IMO Ben got over his ex during Kaitlyn's season, but JoJo didn't get over her ex during Ben's. That's why I hope someone really throws her off balance (like Lauren did Ben), makes her get out of that dysfunctional funk, and move on. IMO again.

ForeverLove wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

ForeverLove wrote:Never discount the Jakefluence on Jojo. Almost the same footsteps imo.

Nor IMO JoJo's half brother Ben Patton. There's actually an archived forum that covers Ready For Love here and some of the things there make for an interesting read. I think Ben himself did a lot of acting on that show.

Geez, Jojo really has some winner role models!

Considering Ben Patton is the CEO of a hospital, does a ton of charity work and has even traveled to countries like Africa to volunteer with children that are in desperate need of help, such as needing hearing aides so that they can hear, well yeah, I'd call him a great role model.

Ladybug82 wrote:But I don't think every lead went on the show with the intentions of becoming the next lead after they were one of many.  Some definitely made it obvious what their intentions were, but while some went on to be leads, I don't think they all sought it out.  JMO.

^^^ This

IMO everyone who ends up becoming the next lead has "auditioned" for it - but in at least some cases I don't believe they knew they were auditioning. IMO casting and storylines are developed well ahead of time. Many of us may have read stories of contestants who were turned away at the last minute (after showing up for the M&G) because they already had enough "normal girls" - which is one of the roles. Other rolse we might have heard about? "Villain" (cast only for drama) - "Wifey" (potential F1) - MOT (Matter Of Time = filler or fodder to get dumped along the way) and probably next lead potential. I think producers saw Ben as "Sean 2" - a basically nice guy with strong religious values and someone who was ready to find a "Wifey" and commit - all they needed was the right "Wifey".

Producers write storylines for potential leads during filming of their seasons as contestants, and pitch a storyline + lead to "higher-ups" (including ABC network representatives) and create situations and dialogs to develop interest in those leads and their storyline. Recycled contestants work because viewers are familiar with the characters in the lead role but that is not an accident - it's very carefully planned to happen.
JMHO

Ash2214 wrote:Considering Ben Patton is the CEO of a hospital, does a ton of charity work and has even traveled to countries like Africa to volunteer with children that are in desperate need of help, such as needing hearing aides so that they can hear, well yeah, I'd call him a great role model.

On the basis of those things that Ben has done I would agree. However on the basis of Ben's involvement in Reality TV and romantic relationships - maybe not so much.
JMHO

Lucas15 wrote:

Ash2214 wrote:Considering Ben Patton is the CEO of a hospital, does a ton of charity work and has even traveled to countries like Africa to volunteer with children that are in desperate need of help, such as needing hearing aides so that they can hear, well yeah, I'd call him a great role model.

On the basis of those things that Ben has done I would agree. However on the basis of Ben's involvement in Reality TV and romantic relationships - maybe not so much.
JMHO

I guess I just prefer to judge someone on how they are in real life versus on a reality television show. What's the difference between Ben Patton and any other male lead from this show? He did what he was supposed to do. He was a lead on a show that didn't last very long, but he picked someone, tried to make it work, and it didn't. He's now been in a serious relationship with someone for over a year it looks like.

Being on a reality television show doesn't take away from the fact that he's done a whole lot of good for people. That's a role model and someone I would want in my corner.

Ash2214 wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

Ash2214 wrote:Considering Ben Patton is the CEO of a hospital, does a ton of charity work and has even traveled to countries like Africa to volunteer with children that are in desperate need of help, such as needing hearing aides so that they can hear, well yeah, I'd call him a great role model.

On the basis of those things that Ben has done I would agree. However on the basis of Ben's involvement in Reality TV and romantic relationships - maybe not so much.
JMHO

I guess I just prefer to judge someone on how they are in real life versus on a reality television show. What's the difference between Ben Patton and any other male lead from this show? He did what he was supposed to do. He was a lead on a show that didn't last very long, but he picked someone, tried to make it work, and it didn't. He's now been in a serious relationship with someone for over a year it looks like.

Being on a reality television show doesn't take away from the fact that he's done a whole lot of good for people. That's a role model and someone I would want in my corner.

Ben Patton is just like any other lead from this show. Yet unlike most from bachelor nation in the years since his show he moved away from constantly seeking the spotlight. Now he works and has a serious career, does sincere charity work and found a good relationship. Most of MF's people would be lucky to move on this well.

**edited**

^
Why would the negative attention JoJo receives make people root against Ben and Lauren? Ben isn't bringing it on JoJo, he's been nothing but complimentary of JoJo, same with Lauren. This chad situation has absolutely nothing to do with them. People can be critical of JoJo or dislike her, or question her motives and it doesn't have to be turned into a JoJo vs BenLo, when it's not.

Well Ben H has to live upto and own his actions on the show with Lauren putting it out if her mind.
Other final couples have had to do it and some like Des/Chris, Kaitlyn/Shawn who both had larger than normal obstacles succeeded in doing so.
This show is what it is. Dating multiple people. So insecurity and jealousy after the fact while really hard to deal is part of this process. Some f1s are  relatively lucky where the leads relationship with others on the show was tame in comparison. But most have a hurdle to overcome and that is why it is a bloody miracle that anything real can come from this show. FDs within days of a proposal? Just no.

In Lauren's case she knows that while Bens said those words, he was in the bubble and his F2 has clearly moved on. Should be a lot easier. Imo of course but each person is different.

Fingersandtoes wrote:^
Why would the negative attention JoJo receives make people root against Ben and Lauren? Ben isn't bringing it on JoJo, he's been nothing but complimentary of JoJo, same with Lauren. This chad situation has absolutely nothing to do with them. People can be critical of JoJo or dislike her, or question her motives and it doesn't have to be turned into a JoJo vs BenLo, when it's not.

IMO the more recent discussions really have nothing to do with Ben and Lauren. They have moved on and if what Lauren said in this interview is true she wants to fill out brackets (a sports term for following payoff eliminations) as she watches the show and that's really moving on. IMO discussions concerning JoJo and Chad belong in the Bachelorette 12 forums where they are pertinent and will probably remain pertinent during filming and airing of her season.