The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - Women Tell All -*Sleuthing - Spoilers*

But Ben has said in all his post interviews that while he would marry his fiancé in a heartbeat he knows its best to wait a little bit as in NOT marry tomorrow "not the best decision" for his relationship. So def No wedding ATFR

mindless wrote:ATFR wedding would be the saddest thing ever. Way to set the mood by showing us the finale first!

One minute he's sitting on the bathroom floor whispering to a crying JoJo, "I'm sitting here on a bathroom floor with you.. Hey, I love you. I'm in love with you" and then a hour later he's marrying Lauren on television. How romantic

Ash2214 wrote:

mindless wrote:ATFR wedding would be the saddest thing ever. Way to set the mood by showing us the finale first!

One minute he's sitting on the bathroom floor whispering to a crying JoJo, "I'm sitting here on a bathroom floor with you.. Hey, I love you. I'm in love with you" and then a hour later he's marrying Lauren on television. How romantic

I disagree . With what transpired and all the real talk that needed to happen after the cameras were turned off, BenLo's relationship progressed in leaps and bounds. They might have truly bonded . Just because the norm says you should have to have a longer engagement , doesn't mean others can't go about it differently . Lauren's dad could relate to when Ben said the world stopped when he met Lauren. Her father said he felt the same way but dated Kristin for a year. But even after the year, the conclusion was the same. Kristin was the one for David. If someone reached that conclusion sooner than one year, I wouldn't consider that crazy . I know we are living the ily mess now but that was months ago. Gaps were closed. I actually can see them marrying sooner than later. Maybe not on ATFR, but wouldn't be surprised either. Jmho

Mommyof1 wrote:

Ash2214 wrote:

mindless wrote:ATFR wedding would be the saddest thing ever. Way to set the mood by showing us the finale first!

One minute he's sitting on the bathroom floor whispering to a crying JoJo, "I'm sitting here on a bathroom floor with you.. Hey, I love you. I'm in love with you" and then a hour later he's marrying Lauren on television. How romantic

Well, it's your minute but not his . Could be some are stuck back over four months ago while life and time has marched on. :Nod:

Fingersandtoes wrote:I'm confused to what people want from Ben. He was able to get into each relationship, express his feelings and actually feel. He seemed to be honest with his F2 and F1, validate his feelings for them. Do we want a robotic lead who won't get deep into the relationships, won't express their feelings? IMO the scene with JoJo was him telling her 'I love you, but..' Yes, he fell for both girls in bachelor love, and he's dealing with it the best way he can.

As for the heartbreak, IMO 90% of it is build up anxiety, separation from families, friends and normal life for two months and the bachelor bubble. In real time the ladies have spent about 10 days with the lead, if I'm being generous.

So are you saying you have no problem with him telling both girls ILY or that you excuse it due to the pressures of the bubble?
I think it was selfish and impulsive. It revealed some immaturity. He says he couldn't hold it in any longer but that thought process didn't consider the consequences which was that he caused more pain than necessary and tainted his love story with his F1. I don't fault him for his feelings, he can't help that, but as UMNgirl said, it was so much word vomit. I don't need Ben to be perfect, just accountable. All the excuses are just that and do nothing to build trust going forward. I hope he owns up to in on ATFR.

Amy Higgins, no doubt raised a good son by calling it like it is, not making excuses to cover for him. That's what good parents do and I'm agreeing with her. I see so many parents today that don't hold their kids accountable. Yes, he's an adult now, but he brought her into this, so I'm looking forward to hearing more from her next week.

relaxing wrote:My guess is TPTB styled her for her star moment as their next girl but they did a bad job of it as they do with all styling duties.  She looks much better doing her own hair and makeup her way.  I worry about what TPTB will do to her gorgeous hair over a full season.  They should just let it be.  It doesn't need any help from them clearly, IMO.

I thought so too. She does a far better job on her own. Why can't this show get some good stylists? I feel like they are out of touch with today's trends. The final 2 dresses have just pushed it over the cliff for me. Can we start a thread for what JoJo and Lauren should be wearing because I feel like this forum could have done a much better job?

avacaroline wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

NCGalBecca wrote:A part of me wonders if, after the bathroom scene or during it, she sends encourages him to go in the other direction? Why would a girl, who just exited a cheating BF situation, really want to be involved with someone openly admitting to loving two women when there are plenty of fish in the sea for a girl like her?

IMO if we take a step back from reality TV  ...

On the HTD Ben found out that JoJo's ex wants her back. That's got to be unnerving to anyone especially Ben who seems to have had a bad bit of history with that situation - there's a clear risk for Ben. And with Ben's admission to JoJo that he loves Lauren - which is something that JoJo had seen for herself on the swimming with pigs date - Ben became a high risk choice for JoJo. Though much of this season ending seems to me to be more smoke and mirrors than reality, to the extent that any of it is actually real - each seems like a high risk choice to the other. Two mature people would probably say "this was great while it lasted but it really can't survive in the long term and let's part as friends". IMO that's exactly what they did.

I have wondered this often.....JoJo has the benefit of having been around the reality tv block before and IMO she's also shown a great deal of emotional maturity. I see Ben as putty in the hands of the tptb....so easily manipulated. At this point in filming, I see him exhausted, confused, angry and annoyed at times....he's just a total and complete wreck.  I think it's possible that she was able break thru the haze of the bubble and see the situation with a clarity that he wasn't able to.  Maybe JoJo's final act of counselor came as she "made things easy" for Ben and pointed him in the right direction?  

Annnnd.....scene!

What a story that would be!      

Like, maybe... I can see it. But I also hope Ben came to the conclusion of Lauren on his own, or mostly on his own.

Think about that for a minute. Do you honestly think that this once in a lifetime event, one of the most important days of their lives, they would want to get married on ATFR? I would think as devout Christians they would want to invite all their friends, relatives, and neighbors instead of saying I do in front of MF and his minions.

You guys, there is NOT going to be an ATFR wedding. Lol. No way. If you are hoping for that, don't get your hopes up.

mindless wrote:I watched yesterday's AfterBuzz and agreed with Nick on just about everything as usual. Lots of good points.

There was a lot of talk about whether Caila played the right angle and they all seemed to think she was acting too hung up on Ben, whether it's real or not. That's what I thought too. She didn't really look forward or lay any groundwork for her own quest for love, she was too busy playing up her heartbreak. I agree with Nick that she was taking her cues from CH, but kind of missing the mark. The next lead needs to come off sincere with their feelings for the current lead, but optimistic and ready to move on. She was talking about missing Ben and talking to him and seeing how he is with that forlorn look on her face. Not a good play.

I'm listening to it right now and I agree with everything Nick is saying. Spot on that Olivia did not deserve the hate she got as she didn't do anything that bad, the twins were bullies and got a pass because they were part of the popular group, and that jubilee killed it.

Also pretty interesting that all three hosts said that they don't think Caila can carry a show and doesn't do a great job of letting down her guard and being genuine.  Nick said the only real moment we got from her was when she got dumped, which is what I've said too! I also agree with Nick that she's a cute girl, but lacks sex appeal. He said her season would be very similar to Des's which is the vibe I get too. I know people here loved des, but I couldn't make it through one episode because I don't think she had the personality to carry it and she bored me. I did think it was interesting that Nick threw out Jojo's name as a potential 'ette. Since he's talked to her IRL, it makes me think she's maybe not in a relationship. IMO.

Mommyof1 wrote:Think about that for a minute.  Do you honestly think that this once in a lifetime event, one of the most important days of their lives, they would want to get married on ATFR?  I would think as devout Christians they would want to invite all their friends, relatives, and neighbors instead of saying I do in front of MF and his minions.  

Yes, I agree. They are going to spend, what? 15-20 minutes MINIMUM on JoJo and Ben's closure. Then probably at least 10 minutes on Caila the new lead. I do not want some rushed 15-20 minute wedding ceremony for Ben/Lauren on the tails of all that. And I HIGHLY doubt that's what they would want either.

If these two get a televised wedding, and who knows, Des and Chris didn't, then I want it to be a 2 hour special, and I want it at least a few months down the line so we can wash away the murkiness of this season before we can celebrate Ben and Lauren for real.