Kaitlyn Bristowe - Shawn Booth - Bachelorette 11 - #3 - Discussion

My problem with Kaitlyn is that I just don't find her relatable at all. Does anyone else feel this way? I feel like I can look at many other alums, and they feel like real people to me. But Kaitlyn is just this perpetual partier, professional snap chatter reality star. I have trouble crossing the bridge and connecting her to a normal human being. I'm not sure if this makes sense.

I do appreciate her IDGAF attitude (though I think it's a front. If she truly didn't care, she wouldn't be pointing out the those who are not fans constantly), and I like that she's a free spirit. So much of that probably stems from her Vancuver BC upbringing- just a free spirit attitude there. Jillian was the same way, had the same vibe. But - Jillian felt relatable to me in a way Kaitlyn just doesn't. Same with Shawn. I just don't get him either. They both feel like a kind of reality star couple parady to me a lot of the time, like they aren't real people. Maybe it's just because though I'm about the same age as them, we just have incredibly different lives. Maybe that's all it is.

I honestly do wish them the best, I don't hate them. I just don't get them, at all.

bluwavz wrote:If Kaitlyn truly didn't GAF then she wouldn't have made this video in the first place. She would've just brushed if off and went about her day. She's become too much like the Boy Who Cried Wolf with body-shaming and sl*t-shaming. Those words used to mean something but now even the mildest criticism or joke is shaming or bullying because we now live in a culture of perpetual victims who find absolutely everything offensive. So someone told her to eat a cheeseburger. Big deal. I've gotten that too. You know what I did? I got over it and grew a pair.

I can't like this enough. I will pay you to take care of me when I become unable to take care of myself.

Kashathediva wrote:

bluwavz wrote:If Kaitlyn truly didn't GAF then she wouldn't have made this video in the first place. She would've just brushed if off and went about her day. She's become too much like the Boy Who Cried Wolf with body-shaming and sl*t-shaming. Those words used to mean something but now even the mildest criticism or joke is shaming or bullying because we now live in a culture of perpetual victims who find absolutely everything offensive. So someone told her to eat a cheeseburger. Big deal. I've gotten that too. You know what I did? I got over it and grew a pair.

I can't like this enough. I will pay you to take care of me when I become unable to take care of myself.

Deal! I don't come cheaply though. :winkie:  

IMO this feel of freedom to flippantly insult celebs or anyone on social media is a big problem, and can be really harmful. It needs to be tackled. There IS a huge problem with these people leaving nasty comments, and then crying 'free speech', when called out. But flipping people off in a video is not the way to do it. Unfortunately Kaitlyn can't do much but delete and block, if she reads all her comments. The way she goes about it just creates a cycle. The commenters know they're getting to her, so they'll just get nastier.

I agree with those saying that she cares very much, her dgaf attitude is just a front.

I am warming to Kaitlyn and Shawn, but agree that when you overshare you will be criticized.

Funny to me she seemed to be getting less whiny but return to mom my and the bad habit recurs. I think Kaitlyn was raised to be who we see. JMO.

sosleepy wrote:My problem with Kaitlyn is that I just don't find her relatable at all. Does anyone else feel this way? I feel like I can look at many other alums, and they feel like real people to me. But Kaitlyn is just this perpetual partier, professional snap chatter reality star. I have trouble crossing the bridge and connecting her to a normal human being. I'm not sure if this makes sense.

I do appreciate her IDGAF attitude (though I think it's a front. If she truly didn't care, she wouldn't be pointing out the those who are not fans constantly), and I like that she's a free spirit. So much of that probably stems from her Vancuver BC upbringing- just a free spirit attitude there. Jillian was the same way, had the same vibe. But - Jillian felt relatable to me in a way Kaitlyn just doesn't. Same with Shawn. I just don't get him either. They both feel like a kind of reality star couple parady to me a lot of the time, like they aren't real people. Maybe it's just because though I'm about the same age as them, we just have incredibly different lives. Maybe that's all it is.

I honestly do wish them the best, I don't hate them. I just don't get them, at all.

I think this is a great post and very well said and probably how many feel.

I actually feel the opposite. I relate so much more to Kaitlyn than many, many, other past leads - as about a 24 year old in the first year out of college than a 30 year old, definitely, but still I can see myself and friends in her life, just at a different age. She reminds me of that fun phase of being done with school but having no real responsibilities or ties yet and just enjoying life and whatever comes along before figuring out what path to settle into. I def can relate and think fondly back on that great time in life. I'm a bit envious of her being able to still enjoy it at 30. Some people just don't have that "settle down" gene and IMO that's ok. If I didn't have kids or a job or a mortgage etc at 30, would I be living similar to her and Shawn, probably.

So even though they don't have professional, traditional jobs and have a unique type of temperament, I relate to Kait and Shawn as a real life couple enjoying perks from the show but also doing their own thing and moving on from it. Kaitlyn was never an ambitious career type of person or seeming to have a defined career path before coming on the show. The people I can't relate to at all are those who come from such privileged backgrounds that they live a very high end lifestyle and are able to buy expensive houses and cars or live in NYC eating out every meal and trying to be D list models without having a job, or appearing on any reality show that will take them, or moving to LA, all while seeming to not have to do much to earn that lifestyle. Those I can not relate to and do not get. Kait and Shawn are totally like people I would know, aren't living extravagantly, and aren't clinging to their ties to this show and don't seem to have been changed by the show. All JMO. I'm sure most will disagree but it's a discussion thread so thought I'd chime in on why I'm still a big fan.

relaxing wrote:

sosleepy wrote:My problem with Kaitlyn is that I just don't find her relatable at all. Does anyone else feel this way? I feel like I can look at many other alums, and they feel like real people to me. But Kaitlyn is just this perpetual partier, professional snap chatter reality star. I have trouble crossing the bridge and connecting her to a normal human being. I'm not sure if this makes sense.

I do appreciate her IDGAF attitude (though I think it's a front. If she truly didn't care, she wouldn't be pointing out the those who are not fans constantly), and I like that she's a free spirit. So much of that probably stems from her Vancuver BC upbringing- just a free spirit attitude there. Jillian was the same way, had the same vibe. But - Jillian felt relatable to me in a way Kaitlyn just doesn't. Same with Shawn. I just don't get him either. They both feel like a kind of reality star couple parady to me a lot of the time, like they aren't real people. Maybe it's just because though I'm about the same age as them, we just have incredibly different lives. Maybe that's all it is.

I honestly do wish them the best, I don't hate them. I just don't get them, at all.

I think this is a great post and very well said and probably how many feel.

I actually feel the opposite.  I relate so much more to Kaitlyn than many, many, other past leads - as about a 24 year old in the first year out of college than a 30 year old, definitely, but still I can see myself and friends in her life, just at a different age.  She reminds me of that fun phase of being done with school but having no real responsibilities or ties yet and just enjoying life and whatever comes along before figuring out what path to settle into.  I def can relate and think fondly back on that great time in life.  I'm a bit envious of her being able to still enjoy it at 30. Some people just don't have that "settle down" gene and IMO that's ok. If I didn't have kids or a job or a mortgage etc at 30, would I be living similar to her and Shawn, probably.

So even though they don't have professional, traditional jobs and have a unique type of temperament, I relate to Kait and Shawn as a real life couple enjoying perks from the show but also doing their own thing and moving on from it. Kaitlyn was never an ambitious career type of person or seeming to have a defined career path before coming on the show.  The people I can't relate to at all are those who come from such privileged backgrounds that they live a very high end lifestyle and are able to buy expensive houses and cars or live in NYC eating out every meal and trying to be D list models without having a job, or appearing on any reality show that will take them, or moving to LA, all while seeming to not have to do much to earn that lifestyle.  Those I can not relate to and do not get.  Kait and Shawn are totally like people I would know, aren't living extravagantly, and aren't clinging to their ties to this show and don't seem to have been changed by the show. All JMO. I'm sure most will disagree but it's a discussion thread so thought I'd chime in on why I'm still a big fan.    

Relaxing, I get what you are saying, but you do have a job, a mortgage and kids. While you like that attitude, at some point real life reared it's head and you moved on from that phase of life. We know Shawn had bought a house, so he had a mortgage and he does seem to be working on his fitness business, but I don't see any indication of a job for Kaitlyn. To me she is no different than Andi in NY. She also seems to have been spoiled and indulged her whole life and is now just drifting aimlessly. Sure, she isn't in NYC, but still, she doesn't seem to be doing anything more than snapchatting and drinking wine. Yeah, she works out because of Shawn and she took some singing lessons...because of Shawn...but, I don't see any motivation to be doing anything. I know there was talk of some youtube channel or some such thing, but that further reminds me of Andi and her Andi's Apple show that fizzled in no time. I know that not everyone has to be terribly motivated to have some huge career, but they at least work to pay their bills. She seems to be living off of Shawn because I can't imagine that any of her $50,000 from her stint as the lead is still left.

For me, there is nothing to admire from Kaitlyn. Her drinking, her lack of motivation, her constantly seeking validation from fans and her negativity towards those who aren't, not admirable. Even that IDGAF attitude is not so admirable to me. You can still do your own thing without the rudeness that she displays. I may have missed it as I really don't follow along too much, but I haven't even seen any type of charity work that she is involved in and it's not like she doesn't have time. I guess the fantasy of a life of doing as you please without any responsibilities is tempting....to a degree...but, after a while, I would think it just becomes an empty, shallow existence and that is all I am seeing from Kaitlyn at the moment.

For me it's not even just about the prolonged partying and Peter Pan Syndrome. That's not how I chose to live my life at Kaitlyn's age, but I don't judge. Not everyone wants the 2.5 kids, the dog, the mortgage and the 9-5 by 30. I mean, when Jillian was with Ed, they acted a lot like Kaitlyn and Shawn. Partied most of the time, drank a ton, had fun and lived life with their circle of friends. But I still found them more relatable than Boothstowe. Maybe it's because they were both still very career driven, so they had that going for them despite still wanting the bar and club life. Maybe Shawn is like that with his fitness business, but I don't see that from Kaitlyn at all. To me, it's almost like she's made her own little private reality show through her snapchat... And that's her job. Seriously, her snapchat account probably takes more energy and upkeep than some people's 9-5's. It seems rather exhausting to me.

This is a passionate thing to me. Graduate school was a huge struggle, my boss and I were at complete odds and I was miserable. Hubby actually told me he would rather support us both than to have a miserable wife. That is not what I want or who I am, but it stuck out to me how much my misery affected him.

I wonder if Kaitlyn has never been really good at anything and so like her mom has just decided to be. Kait's mom seems like a bad influence to me, but that is JMO.

I wonder if that is part of what Shawn is doing, accepting her for who she is and trying to help her find a passion. And maybe Shawn would rather support Kait then have her miserable. All of this is conjecture. Other than the being rude to her not fans, I find Kaitlyn less and less annoying. She seems like a sad girl wanting love and searching for something. Shawn helps that. I don't think she is someone to idolize, but I don't remember her claiming to be either. She isn't claiming to be a light or guide to others. And her bullying stance is ridiculous when she bullies others. But that makes her a sad person to me. I just can't bother to hate Kaitlyn, I just hope she continues to grow and will maybe find her passion one day.

All JMO.

I know nothing about Kaitlyn's mom. Why do you think she is a bad influence? Yes, if Shawn really is willing to support her through everything ... Then he really is quite the catch for her. She's a lucky lady if he really is that person for her.

The way Shawn dotes on his nieces and nephews, and seems incredibly close to his sister, shows me he is probably a pretty grounded person underneath all that OTT snapchatting, reality tv lifestyle.

Kaitlyn's mom was a SAHM too if I remember from her season. She was also very princessey is I remember correctly. Her step-dad thinks her mom's behavior is adorable. Every pot has its lid, etc, etc. I am not a fan and this is only my opinion of what I remember seeing.

Imo all these guessing about her behavior . If you really want to start growing up you can do it by starting to yourself . No one can help you if you don't want to change . In every aspect in life especially you are engaged , you gotta kick yourself to start doing something. It is not easy but if a certain 20'ish individual can do it . Of course she can but sadly she chose to be doing the same  thing instead of making change of her behavior.Jmo .