Caila Quinn - Bachelor 20 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #2

I thought of Frank N on Ali's season when I posted that comment. Talk about an ex not being an ex.

This is why I have no problem with Caila breaking up with her ex prior to the show. Whether it be 3 weeks or 3 hours before. If they were together for 1 yr as stated, and she broke it off, she knew it was not a lasting relationship.

I ended a long term relationship a week before I was going to Florida on vacation. You know when it's time, especially after mulling over the decision for months because you don't want to hurt the other person. Once you take action, you just want to move on and do what you want to do.

^^^Yup. Just because she broke up with him shortly before going on the show doesn't mean she hadn't been thinking about it for a while.

I remember myself back at that age. I had been dating someone for about a year. On paper he was perfect. My mom loved him and he was a nice guy. Really hot too. But something was missing for me. I couldn't figure it out because he everyone kept telling me what a great couple we were and as I said, on paper he matched everything that I wanted. I thought about breaking up with him for months, before I finally did it. It took everyone by surprise and it was really difficult to explain why I did it because I did really like him, we had a lot in common and while we had physical chemistry, there was still something missing. It may not have made sense to others, but it did...and still does...to me.

To me the entire issue is no big deal. 
If she and the ex were dating over a year and nothing was coming of it, it seems like it was time to move on, especially if this was a guy that was older than 27. How much time do you need? Moving on was good for each party. Stagnating in a stale relationship, not so much.

Well at least she didn't go on the show while he was still her boyfriend...

He graduated from a 5-year program in 2011 so he probably was 27-28. I agree that at that age, you probably don't need more than a year to know if this is your future spouse or not.

nothatgirl wrote:He graduated from a 5-year program in 2011 so he probably was 27-28. I agree that at that age, you probably don't need more than a year to know if this is your future spouse or not.

Yep. It's also possible that HE was giving her mixed signals about the future and she realized they weren't right together. Do I think Caila's story about seeing Ben on TV and getting "butterflies" was a little juvenile and naive -- well, yeah, but she's also 23 and I'm sure a lot of women felt the same way about Ben on K's season. If I was 22-26 and attractive, I would have applied too .

I could swear I read somewhere here that the ex did want to marry her, but she wasn't ready (obviously). Not that I find it strange in anyway to date a year without getting engaged. Most people I know who are my age and married dated 5-10 years before their nuptials.

5-10 yrs? Is that a typo?

Kashathediva wrote:5-10 yrs? Is that a typo?

Nope. People aren't rushing to the altar these days, at least not people I know. If you start dating quite young then marriage is barely on your mind for the first few years. After that you might get engaged and then married a couple of years from that. I think it's smart, because the high from falling in love can last up to 2 or 3 years. You can't really be sure your feelings are forever until it's gone. Some can, but better to be safe than sorry, unless you're in a rush to start a family.

I've never thought about it, but that's been my experience too. Except for one case in which it was an arranged marriage, all of my friends dated their SOs for at least 5 years before getting married. I believe that there are even studies that women with college educations and above are waiting longer to get married. I think it's smart, looking at the statistics, TBH.

According to the new preview, Caila will be crying this episode, and I'm pretty sure she's the one saying "I don't know what's going on."

She is already deep in the bubble. How do these girls do it?

I get shades of Melissa who irked me a lot with her whole okay acting during and after the season. Hope this girl is not going to head the same way with ulterior motives.