Becca Tilly - Bachelor 20 - #3 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

nothatgirl wrote:Yeah, Dez was a major catch - hot, Yale graduate, athletic, and has a great voice. If I were Becca, I'd just try with him again instead of all these Bachelor guys.

I wouldn't say he has that great of a voice. He was kind of just the pretty face on The Voice .

I don't think she should try with him again. It seemed pretty one-sided. She should just put effort into dating guys in her area in San Diego or look in LA. Someone mentioned that she liked going back on the show because it was "easy" and everything was already set up, which is true... but she'd have better luck if she tried. She might not date the best apple at first, but it takes time to go through guys to find the right one IMO. And if she's picky, she should try harder or lower her standards a bit (not saying completely- just dont know how high shes shooting for).

Haha, I've never seen the Voice, so I just assumed. I do think it was one-sided too, so I was mostly joking, but my main point is that I just don't think she's going to find her husband on the Bachelor. Maybe Jared and she could have had something, but I feel like her best bet is to try to find someone through church

rhondam wrote:

nothatgirl wrote:I don't really have an issue with that whole "I couldn't fall in love in this time span/environment/structure". I think that most people don't fall in love on the show! How many people have said that their real relationship starts after filming? I just think it's very hard to fall in love after going on about 3 dates with someone, no matter what your experience level is. I still give Becca props for her honesty, especially in comparison to Whitney who fell in love with Chris and made all these promises to him before even getting to know who he was and whether she actually liked the guy. It's just infatuation and delusion, which I think a lot of past f1s admit. 

I do think Becca was interested in the attention and free stuff and opportunities, but I also think she had a major crush on Ben. I don't think she would fallen In love with him, but I think she could have gotten to the "I like you enough to want to date you exclusively" point that the f1 needs to. Looking at Ben's f3, I just feel Becca wasn't his type (younger than him, college-educated, extroverted) and I personally believe that Ben probably implied that to K/S who told Becca. That's why I can't buy into this "Becca only did the show for true love" story. JMO.

IA with almost everything you said here ^. I think she went on because she had a major crush on Ben and because tptb likely made promising type statements about the Bachelorette. Regarding the bolded, I believe that is exactly what she would've done with Chris except instead of following his heart imo, he wanted/was pressured into a proposal and she, like most women with common sense, wasn't going to "just go with it" because it is an important milestone in a woman's life.

I admired that integrity last season. But then don't come back. I hate the engaged to date formula, but since Brad "I chose myself" Womack, it has been required. JPG got slammed, hung out to dry and then run over because he refused to fake an engagement or ILY. TPTB cut him off and embarrassed him, anyone willing to step up to the lead is not going to risk no proposal again. And we saw Ben play along pretending to love Kaitlyn, he wasn't going to not get engaged to date.

That is why I am disappointed in Becca, she knows that no matter what the guy is going to need to put the ring on it. She lost the guy who really liked her because she couldn't and wouldn't accept that ring.

I love the Voice. Dez was a guy who got no one to turn around and then came back and had minor success with team Christina, I believe he was top 8. Now at the finale the finalists bring back the singers they liked/admired to sing with them. I don't remember anyone bringing Dez back. But he is hot, a little short, but hot.

I actually have one Dez song on my iPod.

I think Becca loved Dez, but never said it. I also think he ended the romance and she hangs on hoping it will change. She had some embarrassing tweet to him this past spring/summer that kind of screamed, I still want you, why don't you want me. JMO.

I don't even know if Chris really liked her - the mural date, spending his birthday with Whitney, introducing only Whitney to his friends, showing only Whitney his house of the f2. I think Whitney had it in the bag, although I never saw any chemistry there. Either way, I don't think Chris was Becca's true love.

I think Whitney was the safety choice. He said in an interview that his engagement to Whitney wasn't real to him. He had to get engaged to get DWTS and stay engaged to stay on DWTS.

I saw a Chris who even at AFTR looked like he wanted Becca, and while the lead usually down plays their feelings for F2 at AFTR, Chris refused to say that what he felt for Becca wasn't as intense. He was practically trying to sit on top of Becca. But that is just my opinion.

BTW, Becca looked like she wanted him to go be respectful to her pal Whitney.

ETA, if you listen closely to Chris's parents when they showed up to FRC, they were surprised to find Whitney and not Becca.

Yeah, I always saw him being more attracted to Becca (and even Jade), but just looking at the facts, I think he decided on Whitney mid-way in filming. I do think she was a "safe" choice, as she was  someone he respected and had all the qualities he wanted in a wide, but never fell in love with. 

He said the engagement was a technicality...which is true, IMO, of any final couple. It's just a scene you act out so you can date. It's not a real promise to get married. JMO.

stuckinsc wrote:

rhondam wrote:

nothatgirl wrote:I don't really have an issue with that whole "I couldn't fall in love in this time span/environment/structure". I think that most people don't fall in love on the show! How many people have said that their real relationship starts after filming? I just think it's very hard to fall in love after going on about 3 dates with someone, no matter what your experience level is. I still give Becca props for her honesty, especially in comparison to Whitney who fell in love with Chris and made all these promises to him before even getting to know who he was and whether she actually liked the guy. It's just infatuation and delusion, which I think a lot of past f1s admit. 

I do think Becca was interested in the attention and free stuff and opportunities, but I also think she had a major crush on Ben. I don't think she would fallen In love with him, but I think she could have gotten to the "I like you enough to want to date you exclusively" point that the f1 needs to. Looking at Ben's f3, I just feel Becca wasn't his type (younger than him, college-educated, extroverted) and I personally believe that Ben probably implied that to K/S who told Becca. That's why I can't buy into this "Becca only did the show for true love" story. JMO.

IA with almost everything you said here ^. I think she went on because she had a major crush on Ben and because tptb likely made promising type statements about the Bachelorette. Regarding the bolded, I believe that is exactly what she would've done with Chris except instead of following his heart imo, he wanted/was pressured into a proposal and she, like most women with common sense, wasn't going to "just go with it" because it is an important milestone in a woman's life.

I admired that integrity last season. But then don't come back. I hate the engaged to date formula, but since Brad "I chose myself" Womack, it has been required. JPG got slammed, hung out to dry and then run over because he refused to fake an engagement or ILY. TPTB cut him off and embarrassed him, anyone willing to step up to the lead is not going to risk no proposal again. And we saw Ben play along pretending to love Kaitlyn, he wasn't going to not get engaged to date.

That is why I am disappointed in Becca, she knows that no matter what the guy is going to need to put the ring on it. She lost the guy who really liked her because she couldn't and wouldn't accept that ring.

I didn't see either of those seasons. Ben played along to be in the running for the Bach gig and I would bet my real money that he would not have proposed to Kaitlyn at F1 if he wasn't 100% confident they could work. I see very little difference with Becca—she likes Ben enough to go on his season to see if anything could potentially be there between them and if not, she is closer (she thinks and hopes) to be in the running for the next Bachlorette lead.

IA he loved/liked a lot Becca and Jade more than Whitney. Whitney was the sure thing because she told him every reassuring thing she could think of. I even thought both times while watching it, that she proposed to him!

So yes, I don't blame Becca, Ben or anyone that goes on this show to be cautious with matters of the heart.

rhondam wrote:IA he loved/liked a lot Becca and Jade more than Whitney. Whitney was the sure thing because she told him every reassuring thing she could think of. I even thought both times while watching it, that she proposed to him!

So yes, I don't blame Becca, Ben or anyone that goes on this show to be cautious with matters of the heart.

I actually do. If you are that cautious and insist on total honesty and integrity, then this show is not for you. It has been around for 15 years and people should by now know what is expected of them. If you feel that your integrity is so important and you are unwilling to go with the flow of what is expected, then don't go on the show. Simple.

The first time I can give Becca the benefit of the doubt, the second time the onus is on her. The first time she realised this was not for her and if she had stayed away, I would say power to her. The fact that she decided to come back and actually seems to be considering being the Bette, tells me her integrity isn't quite what she wants people to believe.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I don't see how Becca fooled or is fooling anyone? That's on people and not her, imo.

She is doing what every other person would do and most have done and may do in the future - even those whom one is a fan of they have done all this on some level. Everything so far is just speculative and hearsay that seems to be spouted about dislike for her other than the format of the show and her words on ATFR or whatever, etc, etc.

If the "Well people can change" is used for one contestant on this show (and has been already) then I think it can be used for Becca too in regards to whether this format is for her or not. And really, it's not like Becca is even going to get any type of backlash that the most recent returnee got.

Honestly, to me what I can see is the opposite of what happened with Nick -- where he was positively viewed by quite a few on the forum but very disliked on SM pre-show airing and where Becca is getting dislike but very positive so far on SM pre-show airing.  

I guess for that reason alone I am putting myself in the general viewers position on returnees -- those who hated Nick and love Becca -- and why I am playing devils advocate for her because it's not like I am even some fan of hers (I reserve that for people like Art and Matty) but I just don't get why Becca is being villified especially considering this show and the "villains" she's not even on the radar of villains, imo.

She is not being vilified, she is just being called out about the hypocrisy that people are seeing this time around.