Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #9

IMO, I think "whore" is a really bad word. It's degrading and awful and based on the post above, it sounds like he didn't just use it in regarding to her sleeping with #25. That said, my opinion of Josh was already pretty low, so to me, none of what Andi has said is particularly surprising (outside of the work thing).

And Famously Single starts next month, so I say "wait and see" before we say that Josh took the high road. Because I'm sure part of the reason he was cast was for the dirt on the breakup, so I doubt E! will let him get away with saying nothing at all.

AnandaMarie wrote:

bleuberry wrote:Yeah, defamation of character, etc. I don't believe Josh would (or should) take the high road if she were accusing him of stuff he didn't say. It could affect him professionally and personally. This is not something he would want floating around about him if it didn't happen. Andi is dumb, but I dont think she's making up stuff to sell the book from thin air. Exaggerating and stretching the truth? Sure. I'm sure their relationship gave her more than enough material to work with. JMO.

I agree. All Josh had to say to clear his name was that he didn't call her a whore. It didn't need to be a long he said/she said fight.

If he didn't call her a whore, then I think he should have definitely denied it. I believe it because Josh didn't deny it. I see Josh as the type of person who will defend himself if he's being unfairly accused of something. He's not the type to sit back and say 'I'll take the high road and not say anything' if someone made untrue allegations against him. I think if someone unfairly attacks his character like that, the right thing to do is to deny it if it's not true.

Josh made comments about Andi on his periscopes, he liked and responded to a tweet from someone who said she was glad that he was out of that '8 month nightmare'. He does acknowledge comments relating to Andi if it makes her look bad. He doesn't sit back, take the high road and ignore it all. Why choose to take the 'high road' now?
For me, his comment doesn't make him look good. It makes him look bad because it confirms that he did say those things about her and he can't deny it now.

I don't doubt that he said it and honestly, I don't really care. People fight. People argue. In the heat of the moment, people can say a lot of stupid things. I know I have. Doesn't make them abusive. Not to mention, we only have her side of the story. I find it hard to believe that Andi just passively cowered in a corner whimpering. She gave as good as she got. Who knows what she called him, let alone what was said before to get things to that point? I remember how she attacked JPab for agreeing with her and how she attacked Eric (RIP), for questioning her. Not exactly a shy wallflower our little Andi.

And even if Josh didn't really say it and attempted to deny it, how would he prove he didn't say that? Unless, they taped all of their conversations, he can't. (Imagine if we all had all of our conversations taped and could listen to the things we said during arguments. I shudder to think.) Even if he sent out a press release denying it, there would still be those who wouldn't believe him and it would just be playing into her game. More attention/publicity for her book and dragging him in again. His comments were good. Now he just needs to keep his mouth shut, his fingers off the keyboard and ride out storm Andi.

Ah yes, that should be interesting to see if anything comes from that.

Josh must have been a fairly decent guy to her considering we got pictures almost every weekend of them spending time with her family, they spent every major holiday with her family, they didn't see his family for six months, they missed important events that happened with his family to go to weddings with her family, and the list goes on.

I don't like using bad words against each other in a relationship, but it happens. I've said my fair share and I've had my fair share thrown at me, but IMO it didn't make my past relationship abusive, it was more so just proof that we weren't right for each other. Andi and Josh were just a toxic mix

AnandaMarie wrote:In an article from Atlanta Magazine, she said he called her a whore if she talked to another man, called her selfish and unappreciative, called her argumentative if she disagreed with him and called a b*tch if she defied him. Additionally, if it's true that he wanted her to be a domestic wife while he worked, that's another issue. In isolation, each of these issues might not amount to emotional abuse, but imo, collectively they do. If he felt like that about her, he should have broken up with her earlier and instead of staying in the relationship and saying those things. Again, while I believe that he did call her those things, I also don't know how exaggerated her statements are. I don't know if he called her all these things for the entire relationship or if it was just the last month when things were really bad between them.

All of these are coming from her perspective. I am always amazed how people seeing/hearing the exact same scenario come to such different conclusions about what just happened. That is why witness testimony can be so unreliable.

Didn't Andi admit that he tried to break off with her, but that she tried to cling on to the relationship? Abusers usually aren't the ones trying to leave.

Did he really call her a whore? and if he did, was it really because she talked to another man or is that why she thinks he did it? That makes him look bad and her the innocent victim. On the other hand, did she deliberately flirt with some guy while they were out and about because she knew that would push his buttons? Hard to know since we only have her heavily edited side of the story.

Calling her selfish, unappreciative and argumentative...well she has shown herself to be all of those things based on her very own behaviour so hard to argue with him there. Same with b*tch. Her interpretation is that he called her those things because she was being defiant, my interpretation is that he called her those things because she was breathing.

Would I call this emotional abuse? Under some circumstances I would. (I have a friend going through something similar at the moment so it's not as if I am unsympathetic.) On the other hand, I would hesitate in this instance based on the fact that (a) we have only Andi's...very bitter, self serving version...and (b) because of what I have seen from Andi in the past.

IMO, Andi portrayal of a hard azz feminist is not necessarily who she is or would want to be. That kind of person IMO would never let that law degree lag to pursue what? What she's doing now? Why not try out a judge Judy type show. Why not write a book about your Bachelor experience but in positive light.

Obviously I don't know Andi but based on what was shown, she wants to be seen as the tough and in charge but she needs guidance and discipline on how to be focus. She's used to having things her way and being daddy's princess probably told she's the best better than all the rest.

I can see her alignment with Nikki, Sharleen and Kelly who are fairly outspoken women to help in her portrayal as such. Looking back at her sit down with Nick, she appeared harsh and condescending; hardly acknowledging his questions or feelings and it showed in her face the "how dare you bring that up"

There is always a fine line between the truth and what's 'my take' on the truth.

My take on this book is ... Let me capitalize on my few minutes of fame to make a few bucks before I'm no longer relevant

Sprite wrote:
All of these are coming from her perspective. I am always amazed how people seeing/hearing the exact same scenario come to such different conclusions about what just happened. That is why witness testimony can be so unreliable.

Didn't Andi admit that he tried to break off with her, but that she tried to cling on to the relationship? Abusers usually aren't the ones trying to leave.

Did he really call her a whore? and if he did, was it really because she talked to another man or is that why she thinks he did it? That makes him look bad and her the innocent victim. On the other hand, did she deliberately flirt with some guy while they were out and about because she knew that would push his buttons? Hard to know since we only have her heavily edited side of the story.

Calling her selfish, unappreciative and argumentative...well she has shown herself to be all of those things based on her very own behaviour so hard to argue with him there. Same with b*tch. Her interpretation is that he called her those things because she was being defiant, my interpretation is that he called her those things because she was breathing.

Would I call this emotional abuse? Under some circumstances I would. (I have a friend going through something similar at the moment so it's not as if I am unsympathetic.) On the other hand, I would hesitate in this instance based on the fact that (a) we have only Andi's...very bitter, self serving version...and (b) because of what I have seen from Andi in the past.

Couldn't have said this better myself

There are so many holes and contradictions in what Andi has said and the behavior she has shown that it makes it impossible for me to believe she has been victimized in any way.  This book and her latest interviews show me just what a vial, deplorable, selfish b***h she is. Stick with taking the high road Josh. Don't give her or this book any more publicity by responding.

The restraint Josh is showing is admirable and I applaud him. There is no response he could give that wouldn't come back to bite him. Those who say he should deny it if he didn't say it will be the first ones to tear down the denial. He is 100% doing the admirable thing IMO

I doubt this is her intent but there is a good chance that her book or at least the promo for her book results in increased viewers for Josh's new show.

^^^^ yup exactly what I said the Producers of famously single couldn't pay for this type of publicity. I don't think his casting and her book release were a coincidence

I called her the toxic whorebeast. I don't care who you sleep with, but the way she describes her disgust with Nick's talk and then has sex with him anyway in case she needs him to propose, that is whorish behavior to me.

stuckinsc wrote:I called her the toxic whorebeast. I don't care who you sleep with, but the way she describes her disgust with Nick's talk and then has sex with him anyway in case she needs him to propose, that is whorish behavior to me.

This...or she is lying and she wasn't so disgusted at the time? Either way, she is telling way more than he ever did with his "why did you make love to me" or "fiancée stuff" comments....which were said in the heat of the moment, while trying to get closure.

I just don't get what is it exactly that is so empowering by what she is doing? If anything, to me, she is loosing strength and intelligence every time she opens her mouth.

Josh, whether a fan or not, is handling this situation much better...so far. His statements to the press have been pretty neutral. Not denying anything or acknowledging fault, but just wishing her well and not getting into a he said, she said. I am actually wondering if he had help with forming a plan with how to deal with her and the book. Does he have a PR firm? I seem to remember them getting something along those lines shortly after the show. Either way, thus far, he seems to be winning on the PR front as most comments I'm reading are pretty negative towards Andi.