Re: Tanner Tolbert - Jade Roper - Fan Forum - BIP - Season 2

[bluwavz]

I absolutely agree if you don't want your private life discussed then don't bring it up, but I completely disagree with what RS is suggesting here and I don't blame Jade for being angry. I feel like men never get these assumptions made about them when they pose nude or do sex work or anything of that nature. No but when a woman makes that kind of choice then it must obviously be because she was sexually assaulted. Only Jade knows why she made that choice and considering she deleted her tweet I'm guessing it's not because of the reason RS is assuming.

[Cocoasneeze]

I usually agree, if you don't want your private life discussed, don't talk about it. But with sexual assault, nope. Victims have to be able to share their stories even in public with out RS or anyone else doing nothing but offer support, because these stories need to be told, in public. Other victims need to hear these stories, sometimes it's their life line. All assault victims are feeling guilty, shame and humiliation. So for someone like lady Gaga, or maybe a bit more relatable, like Jade, to share the experience in public, does actually save lives of other victims. RS does not know Jade, and has never talked with Jade about her assault, and even if he had, sharing his opinion and making these assumptions, in public, is just wrong. JMHO.

[stuckinsc]

RS is d-bag at best. But I think that post was meant as support. In his mind Jade is like able and the playboy was not like what he sees. It was a dumb stupid thing to say and he is a jerk. I just think in this case he was not trying to insulting.

Jade and all survivors are incredibly brave. She deserves to tell her story and be proud and supported. I understand if his post hurt her or made her mad, but I am glad she deleted. She has a great life and engaging RS won't change him, it will just upset her.

[Alanna]

Regardless of whether he meant it "nicely" because Jade is likable to him, this is what I don't get- if you're Steve, why in the world would you ever, ever, ever, EVER think it's a good idea to discuss a very sensitive topic you know NOTHING about, make a judgement/prediction about it and then have it out there for the actual person to see and the rest of the world? It's amazingly, appallingly clueless.

[stuckinsc]

Regardless of whether he meant it "nicely" because Jade is likable to him, this is what I don't get- if you're Steve, why in the world would you ever, ever, ever, EVER think it's a good idea to discuss a very sensitive topic you know NOTHING about, make a judgement/prediction about it and then have it out there for the actual person to see and the rest of the world? It's amazingly, appallingly clueless.

I don't disagree. He should not have said anything, I just honestly believe he did not mean to be insulting. I am not a fan and in no way support him. I usually find him to be a troll. I just think this one time he may have actually thought he was being supportive. For him, I think he was justifying her past with playboy. Now is it arrogant and misogynistic to do that? Totally. I just don't think this was his normal hatefulness.

I don't blame Jade if it angered her. I just don't think engaging him will do her any good. JMO.

[Kashathediva]

She probably realized that, too and thus deleted the response.

[Cocoasneeze]

He's basically an ignorant fool talking about things he has no business talking about, but this time his intentions weren't horrible. He might've actually argued with Jade had she not deleted her tweet.

[dw_a_mom]

RS basically said what a lot of people were thinking, accurate or not, trying to reconcile the different sides of her they've seen, even if the reasoning might not have been exactly the same. We can't expect to understand all the actions of someone who has had a traumatic experience we haven't had and, in that way, I did feel reading her blog that it "explained" things, even if I would never (and should never) really know how the dots actually connect; to me, it was enough to realize there are definitely dots out there that aren't obvious. I do think RS said too much, went further than he had a right to analyzing someone he doesn't know and drawing definitive conclusions, but that is to be expected with him. He was trying in his own fumbling way to give her support and pull back on things he had said in the past, I think. But, yeah, I don't think that was where or how she wanted to hear it.

She has said over and over that Tanner "gets" her and that is all that really matters: she has her person. The one who can support her in the way she needs to be supported. The rest should be white noise to her. I will always admire her courage in writing what she wrote, and in owning all her personal choices, no matter how controversial.

[dw_a_mom]

Regardless of whether he meant it "nicely" because Jade is likable to him, this is what I don't get- if you're Steve, why in the world would you ever, ever, ever, EVER think it's a good idea to discuss a very sensitive topic you know NOTHING about, make a judgement/prediction about it and then have it out there for the actual person to see and the rest of the world? It's amazingly, appallingly clueless.

I don't disagree. He should not have said anything, I just honestly believe he did not mean to be insulting. I am not a fan and in no way support him. I usually find him to be a troll. I just think this one time he may have actually thought he was being supportive. For him, I think he was justifying her past with playboy. Now is it arrogant and misogynistic to do that? Totally. I just don't think this was his normal hatefulness.

I don't blame Jade if it angered her. I just don't think engaging him will do her any good. JMO.

You know, I don't see him as hateful. Heavily sarcastic, yes. At times crossing the line, yes. Especially when it comes to this community. But I have a heavily sarcastic daughter and I know that the underlying heart is gold, despite the heavy dose of cynicism that lies on it.

[SueSt]

Great conversation!

dw_a_mom, I agree with so much of what you've written. I also don't see RS as hateful, as much as just completely full of himself and needing to find stories to comment on in his blog. I also agree with your assessment that he said too much. Again, he's not a therapist. How does he make a connection between r*pe and posing for Playboy?? What are his qualifications? Alanna says it best: why in the world would you ever, ever, ever, EVER think it's a good idea to discuss a very sensitive topic you know NOTHING about, make a judgement/prediction about it and then have it out there for the actual person to see and the rest of the world? It's amazingly, appallingly clueless.

To mindless' point, whatever his current feelings they are cheapened by the fact that he drooled over her video and pictures. Maybe it's his blogger (the more outrageous the better to drive readership) mentality. Or maybe he’s more comfortable pigeonholing Jade than trying to understand her.  First she's the slutty playboy girl, now the wounded/devalued r*pe girl. His comments reduce her experience to a one-dimensional diagnosis (one he is clearly unqualified to give.) And to my mind, she's clearly more than that.

It's easy to say get out of the kitchen if you can't stand the heat, and that comment clearly applies to any number of Bach alumni that engage in social media snipes with their detractors. But in Jade's case, if remaining silent means missing the opportunity to help other's by sharing your experiences then that would be a disappointment. I personally applaud Jade for finding the courage to come forward and also for having the grace to know when to disengage.

[GuardianAngel]

Jade Tolbert ‏@jadelizroper  · 8m8 minutes ago   Olathe, KS    

The things @ttolbert05 texts me.

[Linds911]

We have an exciting announcement!! Our family is expanding by one! ❤️ @tanner_tolbert (the magic of editing, nothing was actually left in a box covered up by balloons. Was placed in later) by @jadelizroper


Puppy and Pippa are staying with Grandpa for two nights as Tanner and I head to Vegas for his belated birthday getaway. We've had little puppy for 5 days, but he's already fully stolen our hearts. @tanner_tolbert captured some morning snuggles. ❤️ by @jadelizroper

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