Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 - 11 - Discussion #8

Seabear wrote:
I am tired of the shirtless selfies.....most of which are retreads.  I think Nick looks tired, glum and uninspired.  I hope he finds something that puts some wind in his sails and sets his course in a more positive stable direction.   JMO

I have no problem with him searching and trying whatever, that's how we grow. It may mean giving up something 'secure.' I did in my life and thrashed around for a long while before I found where I belonged.
But I agree that the repetitive vacant model shots and shirtless selfies are tired, glum and uninspired.  
He seems to be without anything challenging or inspiring in his life. I hope he finds what he's looking for sometime soon!

Nick probably bore more responsibility as a young man in his 20s because of being one of the oldest in a very large family. Family supported him emotionally and lovingly but I suspect he had to support himself financially younger than most men at that age. If he takes a break to do something different, it's OK with me. I don't think he'd be satisfied modeling the rest of his life, nor do I think it would support him into old age. I tend to give most people a break unless they are hyper-critical of others. Nick is not one of those people.

Norcalgal wrote:Nick probably bore more responsibility as a young man in his 20s because of being one of the oldest in a very large family. Family supported him emotionally and lovingly but I suspect he had to support himself financially younger than most men at that age. If he takes a break to do something different, it's OK with me. I don't think he'd be satisfied modeling the rest of his life, nor do I think it would support him into old age. I tend to give most people a break unless they are hyper-critical of others.  Nick is not one of those people.

Well said.

It's not like Nick is some guy whose never worked or not shown strong work ethic. He has and does.

To put him in the same category as one those loafer types of guys who have no job and live in their parents basement and thus not worth dating makes zero sense to me.

Norcalgal wrote:Nick probably bore more responsibility as a young man in his 20s because of being one of the oldest in a very large family. Family supported him emotionally and lovingly but I suspect he had to support himself financially younger than most men at that age. If he takes a break to do something different, it's OK with me. I don't think he'd be satisfied modeling the rest of his life, nor do I think it would support him into old age. I tend to give most people a break unless they are hyper-critical of others.  Nick is not one of those people.

Thanks for bringing another perspective! And I remember Nick once mentioned (forget where did I see it) he was kind of like the father figure to Bella too because he's one of the eldest, so I think it's very possible he was all about family and work in his mid twenty to pre-TV. And now, many of his younger siblings are graduated and I assume he has enough saving, so a leave of 2 or 3 years from all the responsibilities is great!

Seabear wrote:I have watched Nick fairly closely these last several months.  Count me in the camp of the increasingly disenchanted.  I find Nick to be at a bit of loss these days.  I definitely think the fame game affected him and not in a good way.  Couch surfing at Kyle's or whatever.....  Or waiting for a free Lyft or whatever..... Following through on commitments or not.......  Looking at your phone/IG and counting the likes.... Believing all the crazy come ons that women tell you on SM......  These a not the type of things that I find appealing. The Nick that I really liked is not the Nick that is present at the moment.  Like Blu and Bleu, I actually find a man with a career and a passion to earn $$$ to be able to explore life and have a stable future sexy!!
I am tired of the shirtless selfies.....most of which are retreads.  I think Nick looks tired, glum and uninspired.  I hope he finds something that puts some wind in his sails and sets his course in a more positive stable direction.   JMO

As an aside:  I don't like the SM shilling no matter who does it.  I think they do it for money and equally do it for the D list fame they all are so desperate to hang onto.   JMO too.

Regarding DWTS.  I think Nick thought he had the gig and at the very last moment was passed over.  I actually think his "friendship" with Julie Berry went upside down following the DWTS disappointment.   JMO

 This is what I was saying earlier but not as well.  
And I want to say that I also agree with AAL and others that said just because Nick doesn't have a job does not mean that he's not receiving an income from dividends or other which is highly likely because of his career history of good income (we've heard) and low expenses (I assume bc no dependents). That said, in order to attract a QUALITY woman as life partner, which I ultimately believe he still really wants and I think a lot of us on here want the same for him, he does need to have something going on that he is passionate about at the very least and I don't see any passion coming from him in recent months.

I really do feel for him and can see the struggle of worrying/wondering/trusting that a woman was genuinely interested in you for you and not just for you the celebrity. I noticed some of the guys from the franchise struggle with this and it wouldn't be easy.

It also crossed my mind that Nick may have been down on AfterBuzz and may have been a tad envious of Brooks who is currently acting and modelling like Nick wants to do. I hope he is not depressed.

What does Kyle do for a living if anyone knows? And does anyone here have the backstory to their friendship? Please and thank you.

A quality woman hopefully will see more than just 6+ months of Nick's 35 years of his life and a majority of an adult life where he has been independent. Speaking of which, JJ and Tanner as well I believe live with their parents. Nick takes care of himself and has for his adult life and still does.

At the end of the day, I'd want my daughter to be with a man who will treat her right. Nick seems like a guy who will do just that which is most important imo. Not all men treat their wives right who have specific types of jobs so I'd be very wary of labeling someone as worthy of dating because they have a job  and a specific type I expect since working as a burger flipper is not sexy to most women so I don't think just a job is desirable. It's having a successful one is what I expect is being meant by having a job.

But even with a successful job/career doesn't mean those men should be worth dating let alone marrying. Many men, including my BIL who is CEO and president of his own prestigious law firm is an abusive man (and only that way post-marriage so even then no guarantee).

Being treated right by a man should be and is, imo, the sexiest quality in a man. And a man who treats a woman right will include being financially secure too as best he can. So if Nick can be financially secure (however he goes about this regardless of job title) that is great and I definitely would want that for my daughter. But included with that and more so I definitely a man who will treat her right!!

The discussion keeps coming around to his job or lack thereof. For me when I say passion, I mean an interest, something that makes his eyes light up and makes him want to "do". He had that feeling about acting and modelling this summer and fall but I noticed from following him on SM and here that it's gone and has been for at least a few months. The last time he had excited positive energy about him that I recall, was when he was campaigning for Movember. Maybe he should consider working more often with charitable organizations if that will make him happy again.

What I see is a great guy that's floundering because the biz isn't easy to break into for everyone. Or maybe he is still happy and passionate about the search for the next gigs but the partying is more frequent or harder to recover from than he's used to and he looks blah and grouchy from hangovers. Either way, to me, his spark is gone and if his spark is gone he's not going to attract the type of woman he wants. Because as I see it, if a woman he liked enough to spend the rest of his life with met him today, she would not see a light behind his eyes and she would therefore not find him appealing despite what he accomplished in the past because she would not get that far into the conversation without the necessary light behind his eyes.

And yes, of course successful men, high income earners, highly educated men (and women) etc can make horrible partners. Just as men (and women) without all of those things can make wonderful partners. And all parents want the best for their children, that goes hand in hand with being a parent and might even be included in the dictionary in the definition (haha).

If the pursuit of acting or modelling made Nick happy like it did when he first went to LA, and if he wasn't sad or down or bored or unchallenged or whatever is wrong, I wouldn't be debating this topic on this board. Again all I want is for Nick to be happy again and from what I've learned about him during the better part of a year, what would make him happiest is a loving, smart, intelligent, sexy, compassionate, confident woman and I see him having less chances of obtaining same in his present state.

**JJ still lives in his parents' basement as far as I know and Tanner owns his own house (I assume joint with a mortgage company) as per his/or Jade's snapchat this summer and he and Jade just put a deposit down today on a few acres where they are going to build a house. - Jade's IG jadelizroper

That. ^^^  I see the same things in Nick that you do Rhonda. Passion and a commitment to something that inspires a sense of joy is what I find lacking.  I also think some of Nicks lifestyle choices are taking a toll too.

AAL, Being a "burger flipper," is aok with me.  I could care less what someone does as long as they do something that gives them a sense of direction.  I also don't equate being a CEO or a Janitor with being successful or a good person.  To me success or failure comes from who you are, how you treat others. Having motivation to care for yourself and a passion that inspires you to strive to be your best self is a bonus .  I don't think Nick is a bad person.  I just think he is lost and lacking direction right now.  I'm not saying he needs his former "dream job" but it would do him a world of good to find his current passion for his next "dream job" whatever the arena.  I think Nick handles the negativity on SM with admirable restraint.  I also believe that the rejection and negative comments have taken a personal toll. So has the adulation and "fame."  

Rhonda,  I believe Kyle works in the computer business as well as the entertainment business.  He also has a passion for photography.  I am not certain when and where he and Nick met.

As always......JMO.  

I understand passion. And hope that for all people. But as someone who has worked doing what I love I still have good days and bad days. And sometimes my eyes don't light up. And sometimes it's got nothing to do with my passion. That's life.

Job. Passion. Interest. Direction. Etc etc.  Call it what one wants. At the end of the day only Nick knows if he is fulfilled and has passion. And no way to know if he does. He may have that in something that is not shared publicly. One doesn't know. But a snapshot here and there via SM or on an AfterBuzz show doesn't tell me that he is or isn't. And some people whose SM and the like seems like they are super happy and passionate can be depressed and it's all an illusion.

For me, I don't mind what a person does and chooses to do with their lives as long as they are not whining and complaining about it. I dislike Kaitlyn and Shawn because they whine and complain. If they want to make money off of whatever that's their prerogative. Same applies for Sean and Cat. Just don't whine about edit or whatever when getting the cash from reality tv stints.

Each person gets to define what success is or passion is or whatever they want for themselves. But I can't define that for Nick. It's an individual thing. It's why I have a hard time seeing him as some floundering person. Because I don't define him by my ideals. I guess I never have and so am not worried about him. I hope he finds love and happiness - whatever that means to him, not me.

I love Nick and I'm not worried about him. I don't see him lacking ambition, success or see him as jobless. If I had a daughter he is exactly the kind of guy I would want her to be with. I doubt he will ever need to be supported financially by his parents or anyone else and I like how he treats women. I hope he finds the love of his life to share his life with. I think she will be very lucky.

Too many good posts to quote and agree with this morning, just going through liking them all .

Seabear wrote:

AAL, Being a "burger flipper," is aok with me.  I could care less what someone does as long as they do something that gives them a sense of direction.  I also don't equate being a CEO or a Janitor with being successful or a good person.  To me success or failure comes from who you are, how you treat others. Having motivation to care for yourself and a passion that inspires you to strive to be your best self is a bonus .  I don't think Nick is a bad person.  I just think he is lost and lacking direction right now.  I'm not saying he needs his former "dream job" but it would do him a world of good to find his current passion for his next "dream job" whatever the arena.  I think Nick handles the negativity on SM with admirable restraint.

If being a burger flipper at age 35 at a McDonalds for example (there's nothing wrong with that) is A-okay then I think Nick is doing a pretty good job doing what he is doing since he has a great degree and had a great career/job field he can go back into and has shown even with raising the most funds for the charity cause with Shawn recently that he has a strong work ethic still.

And  if success and failure comes from how one treats another... then Nick is a success since he treats people well especially those who are negative towards him.  

So by those measures Nick is doing great.