The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - General Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

BlackHalo wrote:Ugh, no single moms looking for Ben to be a "daddy". Juelia has soured me on that as well. Can't stand the notion that they deserve better treatment because they are moms, widows, divorced, whatever. I wouldn't be mad if he got rid of all the single moms first.

Ok wow, that seems like a slap to single mom's everywhere. I know many who have never ever thought they deserve better treatment then anyone else. And Juelia is just a nut I think. I think Ben would do great with a single mom. He loves kids and they love him. And he isn't afraid to take on someone else's kid as his own if need be. Please don't judge all single moms by the few I have ever seen on the show.

I would honestly rather see him with someone who is settled a little bit. Someone like a single mom is really is looking for a great guy to be not only a life partner but also a good influence on the child. Would much rather see him with someone like that then the preppy, young, model, blogger, sorority, wannabe actress type.

BlackHalo wrote:I don't know that any of us actually believe Ben can do no wrong. Maybe if you've put him on some sort of "golden boy" pedestal (which I've seen). IMO, he hasn't done anything to warrant much criticism. I will gladly defend him but I will also call him out if he does something I don't like.

I agree.  But at the same time, it's as if there are unwarranted witch hunts against others on same topic matters.  I just wish everyone was held to the same standards.

BlackHalo wrote:Ugh, no single moms looking for Ben to be a "daddy". Juelia has soured me on that as well. Can't stand the notion that they deserve better treatment because they are moms, widows, divorced, whatever. I wouldn't be mad if he got rid of all the single moms first.

Bravo!

Maybe they need parents without partners edition - oh yeah we had it Emily LOL

I hate when they expect special treatment when they chose to go on the show.

I don't have anything against single moms going on this show but it doesn't seem to be the ideal scenario. The show provides such limited time as it is already for the lead and F1 to get to know each other and there are so many obstacles they have to overcome once they get into the real world that adding a child on top of it just decreases the chances of it working out IMO

The main reason I don't want to see any single moms on the show is because I don't want to see any children exploited for their parent's gain. It's happened before and I'd rather not see it again.

Just me personally, but I question these "single" parents who can take the amount of time away from their child and any income to do this stupid show. Most of these people has people to help and money to get by, these are not the single parents who I admire who work and struggle and give their all of for their kids.

I agree Ben could be a great step dad, just not sure the kind of single mom who go on these show are really great mom. JMO.

loveactually9 wrote:I don't have anything against single moms going on this show but it doesn't seem to be the ideal scenario. The show provides such limited time as it is already for the lead and F1 to get to know each other and there are so many obstacles they have to overcome once they get into the real world that adding a child on top of it just decreases the chances of it working out IMO

There is also the matter of "geography". Let's face it...many times custody issues will prevent the "mom" from moving...and she may live in a place the bach does not want to live or not good for him....so long distance etc...and then break up

Geography...and/or some "inflexible"situation other than kids is also a big roadblock IMHO.

ICU wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:Ugh, no single moms looking for Ben to be a "daddy". Juelia has soured me on that as well. Can't stand the notion that they deserve better treatment because they are moms, widows, divorced, whatever. I wouldn't be mad if he got rid of all the single moms first.

Ok wow, that seems like a slap to single mom's everywhere.  I know many who have never ever thought they deserve better treatment then anyone else.  And Juelia is just a nut I think.  I think Ben would do great with a single mom.  He loves kids and they love him.  And he isn't afraid to take on someone else's kid as his own if need be.  Please don't judge all single moms by the few I have ever seen on the show.

I would honestly rather see him with someone who is settled a little bit.  Someone like a single mom is really is looking for a great guy to be not only a life partner but also a good influence on the child.  Would much rather see him with someone like that then the preppy, young, model, blogger, sorority, wannabe actress type.  

I think she means when they show up on the show 'looking for love,' not when they date in the real world like normal people.

I'm hoping that Ben is like Sean in that people say, "wow" after that first night- that he is a little entertaining himself, but he also talks with the women in a way that lets us know that he values them (women in general). Will a crazy one or two or three make it through about 7 episodes? Probably. Will one make it to f4? Maybe even f3. But I hope the young man who seems to have a level head will have 2 terrific women left at the end.

Yeah, the way they treat single parents on this show blows my mind. You would have thought that people like Emily, Jason, and Julia were reincarnations of mother Theresa and ghandi the way the show presented them. While all I could think was "go back home and take care of your freaking child, like 99% of single parents out there". I think that's the reason we've all soured on single parents on this show, not because they are less than or not deserving of love.

ICU wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:Ugh, no single moms looking for Ben to be a "daddy". Juelia has soured me on that as well. Can't stand the notion that they deserve better treatment because they are moms, widows, divorced, whatever. I wouldn't be mad if he got rid of all the single moms first.

Ok wow, that seems like a slap to single mom's everywhere.  I know many who have never ever thought they deserve better treatment then anyone else.  And Juelia is just a nut I think.  I think Ben would do great with a single mom.  He loves kids and they love him.  And he isn't afraid to take on someone else's kid as his own if need be.  Please don't judge all single moms by the few I have ever seen on the show.

I would honestly rather see him with someone who is settled a little bit.  Someone like a single mom is really is looking for a great guy to be not only a life partner but also a good influence on the child.  Would much rather see him with someone like that then the preppy, young, model, blogger, sorority, wannabe actress type.  

I'm not judging single moms everywhere. I am basing this from what we saw on BIP this summer, not just from Juelia but from everyone surrounding her. Not here for the single moms being treated like special snowflakes because they need a dad for their child. Also the gross comments about Juelia deserving respect but if Joe had led on someone like Ashley I no one would care. It has soured me on how the show treats the whole thing. All women deserve to be equally respected. So yeah, If single moms leave first I am not going to feel bad.

I agree....the "single parent" story on this franchise is wearing thin.....along with other sob stories

I wouldn't mind the single moms but I am tired of them acting as if they have 'sacrificed" to come on the show and "deserve" special treatment

I am also weary of the damaged birds - who can't wait to tell the lead and the viewing audience of their trauma .....car accident, loss of loved one, childhood poverty, eating disorder, or whatever

I think the leads keep some of the sobbers around cause they are afraid of how it looks to get rid of them but really who needs the baggage? I don't think it is healthy and I blame the show producers and the show "psychologist" or whatever...ever since watching "Unreal" tv series I also think about the danger with these walking wounded.....IRL sweet little Gia probably never should have been on this show, someone should have intervened a long time ago.
Farmer season "widow" was disturbing to me - watching someone act out like that just was not comfortable

Juella is another scary one - since her husbands suicide she has been away from her daughter - first on Farmer season, then she hung out on Paradise with no love in sight, she stayed as long as she could, and then pics of her partying with Bach Nation folks - ugh

Ashley I is "good tv" I guess they think but at some point I hope she is acting otherwise she is also kind of scary.
Fine line between a good show and affecting real lives.