Finale and After the Final Rose Spoilers - Bachelorette 7 - Discussion

Shout out to us from our girl, Ashley Spivey. We love you

You and Scott have a blast double dating with Ashley and JP and so glad you and Ashley will be in NYC to hang out. Best news!

AshleySpivey Message boards are abuzz with some good news yay!
34 minutes ago via web

CanadaGoose wrote:

clueless wrote:Just an opinion from another average viewer here. I think both Ben and JP acknowledged that they could get hurt in the process. It seemed to me that was the stumbling block for JP in telling Ashley how he felt at the FS date, because he had been hurt before in losing love and knew that kind of pain. Ben on the other hand, had felt the pain of losing a father but I'm not sure about the pain of a failed relationship between two people very much in love. With that said, JP seemed to have considered that he might not be the last man standing, however I'm afraid Ben never considered that. Not because Ashley led him on but because he was so caught up in the fact that HE was in love that he didn't imagine that she wasn't in love as well.

I wonder how much of Ben's reaction was due to TPTB's meddling and encouragement to propose? Not having watched it personally yet, it sounds like he was more angry than hurt. Who was he really angry at? Betcha we never get an answer to that question.

Great thought provoking comments. I have said all along, I don't fault anyone for how they would react to getting their heart broken in this scenario, but I do think how they react says something about their mindset at that time. I suspect that Ben, unlike JP, really wasn't considering how Ashley might have been feeling at that moment, and that it could possibly be different from what he was feeling, not out of any selfishness on his part, but more due to his naivete from having been so emotionally unavailable for so long prior to the floodgates opening up. He went in so confident, overconfident, that he was the only guy in the game, and then everything came crashing down on him. He lashed out in anger at the only person there to lash out at, Ashley, but I suspect a lot of that anger was actually meant for himself, once it dawned on him how naive he had been. Tunnel vision is great when it pays off, because you avoid the anxiety that JP endured (as well as the viewer judgments that he was "unbalanced" as a result), but when it means you never even consider the possibility of an alternate scenario and that scenario happens, you end up gobsmacked, and less able to graciously deal with the disappointment.

I wanna read this thread to.

post

Popping in to see if there are any more secret messages.
Thanks San and Love Me!! This place is the best!!!

[quote="ironcat"]

CanadaGoose wrote:

clueless wrote:Just an opinion from another average viewer here. I think both Ben and JP acknowledged that they could get hurt in the process. It seemed to me that was the stumbling block for JP in telling Ashley how he felt at the FS date, because he had been hurt before in losing love and knew that kind of pain. Ben on the other hand, had felt the pain of losing a father but I'm not sure about the pain of a failed relationship between two people very much in love. With that said, JP seemed to have considered that he might not be the last man standing, however I'm afraid Ben never considered that. Not because Ashley led him on but because he was so caught up in the fact that HE was in love that he didn't imagine that she wasn't in love as well.

I wonder how much of Ben's reaction was due to TPTB's meddling and encouragement to propose? Not having watched it personally yet, it sounds like he was more angry than hurt. Who was he really angry at? Betcha we never get an answer to that question.

Great thought provoking comments. I have said all along, I don't fault anyone for how they would react to getting their heart broken in this scenario, but I do think how they react says something about their mindset at that time. I suspect that Ben, unlike JP, really wasn't considering how Ashley might have been feeling at that moment, and that it could possibly be different from what he was feeling, not out of any selfishness on his part, but more due to his naivete from having been so emotionally unavailable for so long prior to the floodgates opening up. He went in so confident, overconfident, that he was the only guy in the game, and then everything came crashing down on him. He lashed out in anger at the only person there to lash out at, Ashley, but I suspect a lot of that anger was actually meant for himself, once it dawned on him how naive he had been. Tunnel vision is great when it pays off, because you avoid the anxiety that JP endured (as well as the viewer judgments that he was "unbalanced" as a result), but when it means you never even consider the possibility of an alternate scenario and that scenario happens, you end up gobsmacked, and less able to graciously deal with the disappointment.[/quote

Excellent discussion everybody. It is helping me get my thoughts in order! I can't help thinking back to Roberto's proposal to Ali, which I re-watched when someone posted it in another thread recently. Roberto declared his love for Ali, waited for her response and then proposed. I think that even if Ashley was told to wait for Ben to speak first, she probably thought that he would declare his feelings and wait for her response before possibly proposing. If he went ahead with the proposal without any affirmation from her, that probably really caught her off guard. I think this was an unfortunate situation for both Ben and Ashley to be caught up in.

CarrieAlexander wrote: Spoil Me!! I can't wait either

Thanks I have been here for awhile - haven't really been posting though!

Back at ya

:cc1:

kikora wrote:Posting here, too, just because the 'invisible ink' posts are too cool to resist even if I know the contents!

LOVE JPASH!

:skating: :cc1: :cc4: