Bachelor Australia - Season 3 - Heather Maltman

Heather is intense. Her wit and her emotional honesty demand intense engagement.
Sam has a very straightforward honesty.
He does respect and get Heather and I do think they are both very upfront with each other.
Heather respects his opinion and takes his counsel well.
Agreed, the question is whether Sam can do intense and match Heather's expectations of him.

RR (romance realist)      bingo ... perfect wording ... intense and emotional honesty
Indeed ... both are straightforward and upfront with people. That's why I also have "faith" that he understands her approach and isn't dismissing it, but is patient.

I've recently watched 1st episode again ... and although I've seen that physical connection with Snezana very strongly, among all the women he was drawn to Snez on the first night the most ... and someone could say that the "only" thing stopping him was her being a mom ... but then I remember that even with Heather there was something "unspoken" between them from the start. He kept being close to her, he placed his hand on her knee, he was being open with her about his own "insecurities" from the go ... the edit even inserted a scene of other girls commenting on H&S that they were being "cozy" ... and later when he gave her the white rose, the speech was honest and straightforward. I honestly believe it was the subconscious driving them close but without realizing why or suspect how strong it's going to be.

Also, Sam showed with his continuous choices, that he likes "contagious" personalities ... people that are fun, smiley, up-beat, raw, self-deprecating, comfortable in their skin (despite their "flaws"), kind, honest and outspoken ... for that he liked Jacinda, Nina, even Rachel1 (despite we haven't seen their time together) ... but he also likes a confidant woman who knows what she wants, nice, feminine in her moves, smart in her talk, elegant in her gestures, sophisticated in her style and in touch with her sexuality... it's what attracts him to Snezana, Sarah and initially to Bec ... and what appeals to him now in Lana ... IMO

I see Heather in all those descriptions ... and I believe he sees it too... maybe at first only her "energetic" (contagious) part comes out more prominently ... but she's not lacking in any of these latter characteristics.

And just because he's a man and likes to pash passionately ... doesn't mean that he might not understand or not want to follow Heather's approach ... if he really gets her and if they really are similar in many ways ... maybe this "old-school" romantic guy actually is trying to pull off the "old-school" move.
The spark is there ... and there's no rush.

Lovely analysis happygolucky
Sam's physicality to Heather there from the start.
She has chosen to first decide on their intellectual and emotional compatibility.
Her Episode 1 comment about 'growing into my head' was really funny, yet challenging because she has in her own self-deprecating style, compelled him to visualise her imperfections and her child and adult self.
I think she has largely determined how physical their interactions are - she needs to see he can do the intellectual and emotional first because they are more important to her. She gets a reassuring kiss - this is all she needs at this point.

It's not that I'm blind and don't see the other connections and the interest that Sam has for Snez or Lana ... and I do read all the news and info coming from all fonts ... so I know there's a strong campaign going on that Lana is the one who steals Sam's heart ... or that Snez wins, predicted by the famous psychic ... I get it... many more reasons not to believe in this relationship having a chance...

but Sam has many times emphasized how he isn't looking for a friend in the house ... and with all the talking (that he kinda searched for) he is building a friendship with Heather... kind of intimate friendship ... where they talk about stuff they normally don't talk with their friends, where they look after one another, share their fears and issues, where they challenge and give support to each other and find comfort, energy and reassurance every time they are together.
That's what I see with them ... yes, there's no physical connection apart from a few kisses and hand-holding and gentle strokes and RC hugs ... but ... if that's only friendship that Sam is building with Heather ... then he is contradicting his own words ... and at the end of the journey (whenever it is) he will have a friend by his side, the kind of friend that many people thrive to have ...

and if I only imagine, that there's just a hint of attraction between them, on his side, that he sees her more than just a "mate" ... that he finds her interesting, beautiful, sexy in her own way ... then how can he let her go?

So the question really is: do you think there's a genuine attraction, sexual chemistry between them - just a pinch? - Then here's your answer.

romance realist wrote:Heather is intense. Her wit and her emotional honesty demand intense engagement.
Sam has a very straightforward honesty.
He does respect and get Heather and I do think they are both very upfront with each other.
Heather respects his opinion and takes his counsel well.
Agreed, the question is whether Sam can do intense and match Heather's expectations of him.

Such a great post! I absolutely adore Heather. LOVE HER!!! She has been such a breath of fresh air this season and I am girl crushing big time.

Even though I love their dates (mainly because of Heather), I really don't see Sam as a good life partner/life style fit for her. While he has indicated that one can't "help but come up to her level" and that he is "mesmerized" by her, I really see Heather as outside Sam's intellectual and emotional capacity. I just don't see him on a journey of personal "relationship" growth. Hence his "fire" first priority.  He can't (like we can't) help but admire/even adore her but Heather is not his type outside the bachelor bubble - however beautiful, adorable, contagious and so on she may be!

I find Sam to be quite "ordinary" and want Heather to find someone extraordinary to share her life with. It can't be Sam... I think after the "honeymoon" is over, these two would find that they really don't have very much in common.

In my happy ending, Heather would  come to that realization on her own and leave.

KatydidC

I love Heather too and can see what you are saying.. that Sam sees Heather at a level above him ("come up to her level") but I think that's exactly who a guy should want to marry.

Art did the same thing with Matilda, he had her on a pedestal too, literally falling over his feet around her and would look at her mesmerized as well.

I see a lot of similarities between Art and Matilda and Sam and Heather -- they are both people who emphasize having fun, and I do think that Sam speaks her language, he emotionally and intellectually connects with her and I could see this as being the best partnership for both of them.

I just think that, unlike Art, Sam places a heavier emphasis on physical connection (probably more so in the Bachelor Bubble). It's a bit strange to me given he is 35 years old and I find his emphasis on the "fire/physical" to be immature and narrow-sighted. To me, making physical connection the foundation for a relationship is looking for passion (physical connection) rather than intimacy (emotional connection). So from that perspective, I agree that they would be incompatible since Heather's foundation is based on intimacy and Sam's based on passion.

Because of this difference, I also think that if Sam chooses anyone where passion is the foundation it won't last (unless there is a very deep emotional connection that is built securely). Heather really is the oldest 29 year old Sam has met -- she gets what a lasting relationship should be built upon -- intimacy (the emotional and mental connection based on friendship) with the passion built on top of that.

Art had to reconcile this at his MTP, when he questioned his sister about how he felt more physically connected to Dani than Matilda. But in the end, he went with what he felt would be a lasting relationship (his words post-show) and chose Matilda. It's why I find Art to be more mature, when in a Bachelor Bubble, than Sam when it comes to relationships.

All about love....

Agree with your passion vs intimacy analysis but for me there are also just plain old lifestyle pragmatics to consider as well. I just wonder how compatible they truly may be. Sam is a mainstream jock/athlete, outdoors man etc. Heather walks outside the mainstream. She is the quirky, bright, creative artist. I'm not sure they have enough in common to move a relationship into the world outside the bachelor bubble.

Sigh... did I say how much I adore Heather?

Heather and Sam to me are like Art and Matilda.
... Art's passion and business/career is fitness and health. Matilda's is working in the entertainment industry (hm... sounds familiar :Nod: ) and she worked for MediaWorks network that aired the show.
... Art's a jock/athlete (even a model) and outdoors-man but still sensitive and a listener, and Matilda's non-athletic (even broke her arm as a child) and again as an adult and not that fashion forward (her outfit to MTP! *the horror* haha).
... Also, what Art and Matilda share with Heather and Sam is that they have the fun/child-like quality and both dorks who make fun of themselves and don't take life or themselves too seriously (something Sam has said he is looking for). So to me, I actually see Sam and Heather as the most compatible in the real world.

The difference lies with Sam and what he is emphasizing in a relationship: "passion and physical connection." It is this emphasis by Sam that tells me what he is looking for in a relationship and that it will supercede compatibility at the end of the day... it is why I find Art to be much more genuine and more mature in relationships (thinks with his big head and heart, not his little head) than Sam.

KatydidC wrote:All about love....

Agree with your passion vs intimacy analysis but for me there are also just plain old lifestyle pragmatics to consider as well. I just wonder how compatible they truly may be. Sam is a mainstream jock/athlete, outdoors man etc. Heather walks outside the mainstream. She is the quirky, bright, creative artist. I'm not sure they have enough in common to move a relationship into the world outside the bachelor bubble.

Sigh... did I say how much I adore Heather?

I don't think i agree that Sam is just a mainstream jock. Yes fitness is something he's into but it doesn't make up who he is. He's very dorky and he's not one of those meatheads that can't talk about anything but fitness. And it's not like Heather isn't into fitness. We know from her intro package that she's into running and yoga. She and Jacinda were tagged at the gym the other night, etc.

I actually think they're quite compatible. Yes I think Heather is slightly above Sam intelligence wise but it's not a deal breaking difference IMO. Sam is smart. He reads people very well. I think they actually balance one another very nicely. Heather brings Sam up to her level (and you should always be with someone that makes you a better person) and Sam can pick up on Heather's insecurities immediately and reassure her.

Katy nice to see much love for Heather

though I might disagree with you and AAL this season about the Bachelor Sam. I find him very clever (smart is overrated if you don't know how to apply the knowledge), very intuitive and sensible, reasonable and positive, stimulative, attentive, considered, well-intentioned, introspective and empathetic, daring and honest.... and many more adjectives ... but along the way, I see a man who doesn't stop at the body and I do believe his decisive factor is not solely physicality or sexual attraction ... but that's JMO.

I am teamHeather ... and I still believe Heather has a boyfriend and if that boyfriend is the same I think of, then I see them very compatible and different in the right measures.

Heather is back on the media trail today. She was on 101.3 sea fm this morning. Did anyone hear it? She is also coming up on dan and maz. I wonder how guarded she will be?

Sundy wrote:Heather is back on the media trail today. She was on 101.3 sea fm this morning. Did anyone hear it?  She is also coming up on dan and maz. I wonder how guarded she will be?

Haven't heard her yet but here are the tweets...


@SeaFM  1h1 hour ago
Our FAV Bachelorette from @TheBachelorAU Heather is on the show NOW!
Can't WAIT to see what happens tonight! [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

@DanAndMaz  1h1 hour ago
Still to come on today's show! Heather from [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]