The Bachelorette 11 - Kaitlyn Bristowe - Epi 9 July 13th - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

Alanna wrote:

mindless wrote:She sure seemed to melt into Nick's arms too after the family visit.

They have chemistry but I think it's mostly or even just sex. I haven't seen her giving him the type of reassurance she's always given Shawn. Maybe I don't pay enough attention to their scenes but her behavior with the two is vastly different imo. What she tells Shawn is pretty much that he has to get through this and then she'll never explore another relationship, he has to be strong, blahblah. Nick seems to be all sex all the time.

There's that, but then again Shawn's been constantly asking for reassurance and Nick hasn't, so it's a bit tricky to compare. But I do think Shawn's neediness turns her on, because it means he's genuine and cares so much, to her anyway.

Oh I think Nick is needy too. He was crying that one time about how he was afraid and while she seemed cold, he still was seeking it. She probably reassures Shawn with words and Nick with sex IMO

Sorry, but a woman asking a man to promise he loves her is not checked out. I have seen leads pulling back, remember Brad with Chantal or Ali with Chris L or Des who could barely spend two minutes talking to Drew before she released him? Even Andi with Nick on LCD? Promise you love me and let me give you my body doesn't shout checked out to me. Especially is Shawn's MTP was first. Do we know the actual order they occurred in?

I agree Kaitlyn was picking Shawn, but was happy to enjoy Nick right up until the end. Sex and giving your body to a man does not scream checked out. Let's be real here.

Yeah, I agree, she led Nick on, maybe even more than the last lead IMO. She really "did" things with him to make him feel very special like he got this. I hope she was actually torn till the end but I doubt it because she was too terrified of losing Shawn over what she did with Nick.

stuckinsc wrote:Sorry, but a woman asking a man to promise he loves her is not checked out.

I believe her "Promise?" ... was more of a pleading to like her despite the final blow that she was about to give him ... because she already knew what was coming ... so it was her way of securing herself, that she will be loved just the same ... because as we can see now with SM, Kaitlyn wants to be liked, she needs to be ...no bad romance, no retaliation, no guilt.

happygolucky wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:Sorry, but a woman asking a man to promise he loves her is not checked out.

I believe her "Promise?" ... was more of a pleading to like her despite the final blow that she was about to give him ... because she already knew what was coming ... so it was her way of securing herself, that she will be loved just the same ... because as we can see now with SM, Kaitlyn wants to be liked, she needs to be ...no bad romance, no retaliation, no guilt.

It came off like she wanted him to love her and she had her body wrapped around him at the time. I don't dispute she was picking Shawn. But she was not checked out with Nick, she was enjoying him very much this week. I don't know about next week. She is much more "melty/giddy" with Shawn, but she is still very physically involved with Nick, so I don't see this great pullback. Just that she wanted one more, but was fully enjoying the other for as long as possible. JMO

happygolucky wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:Sorry, but a woman asking a man to promise he loves her is not checked out.

I believe her "Promise?" ... was more of a pleading to like her despite the final blow that she was about to give him ... because she already knew what was coming ... so it was her way of securing herself, that she will be loved just the same ... because as we can see now with SM, Kaitlyn wants to be liked, she needs to be ...no bad romance, no retaliation, no guilt.

Well if that is the case....shame on Kaitlyn.  That is one of the most selfish things I have ever heard.  

Nick has held up his end of the promise.  He has displayed only love for Kaitlyn even to this day.  

Considering all that he was put through, her most recent lack of empathy for Nick is appalling.  I mean we like to say, "well he knew what he was getting into".  But, if you think about him as a real person, with feelings who went into this with genuine, sincere intentions (because we are just giving Nick the benefit of the doubt here), he was taken advantage of severely.  I would never wish what he went through on anyone close to me.  In fact, I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy.

IMHO after all this is over, all three of them need some counseling. I really don't think Kaitlyn knows what she wants, but she is apparently going to pick Shawn and they don't seem much alike to me. If Nick's not faking all this, he is going to go into a tailspin; apparently he has had boats with depression. What a trainwreck.

happygolucky wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:Sorry, but a woman asking a man to promise he loves her is not checked out.

I believe her "Promise?" ... was more of a pleading to like her despite the final blow that she was about to give him ... because she already knew what was coming ... so it was her way of securing herself, that she will be loved just the same ... because as we can see now with SM, Kaitlyn wants to be liked, she needs to be ...no bad romance, no retaliation, no guilt.

And then I can stop liking you if I want to even though you always gave me encouragement, and always supported my decisions. We had a lot of fun pre SM and pre FS, but go away now.

... hmm... OK... well, Kaitlyn is far different from me, so I don't think I can always understand her reasoning. And I do have to admit, I didn't watch the episode, I'm just picking out of all of your comments, so I don't see things play out.

ETA: Need to add, the above comment was about the situation when Kaitlyn said what she said, as Stuck described. Not a response to GA.

I'm agreeing with you happy. My response IMO that's how it appears that K is treating Nick now after she got as you say the encouragement of his love.

mindless wrote:I remember you saying similar things about Chris and Whitney last season, that it was always her and there was no confusion. Yet after the show finished airing, he acted like he couldn't have been less interested in Whitney and now recently he started following Becca on Twitter, even though she's not even following him. So do you still think it was all about Whitney? Just wondering.

Yes - see reference below.

stuckinsc wrote:Oh and yeah, love the CS reference, watch the Dan Patrick interview. It was totally Whitney from day one, because he knew he could get fake engaged to her.

Regardless of why CS felt he wanted Whitney, it was always Whitney - until the time they broke up.

stuckinsc wrote:Sorry, but a woman asking a man to promise he loves her is not checked out.

During Ashley's season, in a blog she wrote about the time of the FD or so, she said that she didn't think she was a very good bachelorette because she wasn't very good at acting. At the time I was surprised they let her say that because she touched on something the show and most leads try to hide - they act - they are required to act and if they want the perks that come with being a lead after the fact, they have to act; as Catherine once said "You don't bite the hand that feeds you".

There's a big difference between saying something and actually feeling it - leads can and in most all cases do say a lot of things - some subtle and some blatant - that lead others on mostly for the purpose of maintaining the facade that F2-Fx actually have a shot at being F1 so they keep trying. In some cases this works and in other cases the F2-Fx know they don't have a shot and they just play along. IMO in many cases they play along because they've been led by a producer to believe they have a shot at being the next lead, which my be true in some cases but a lie in most cases.

So IMO yes - a woman can ask a man to promise he loves her and not mean it at all - we all saw it happen - it's just part of being the lead. Like many before and many after (for however long the show lasts) leads will lead others on even if they don't have a chance. IMO those who saw Kaitlyn checked out with Nick were seeing the same thing I saw - she was checked out and there were many symptoms of that to be seen during the MTP date with Nick's family.

This is a game and it sucks - but I blame the game more than I blame the players in it.
JMHO