The Bachelorette 11 - Kaitlyn Bristowe - Epi 9 July 13th - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

Nick seems to handle conflict better than Shawn....however, it doesn't make Shawn a bad person.

I wish Shawn wouldn't question Nick's intentions with Kaitlyn. If he thinks Kaitlyn is so wonderful, why can't Nick be there 125% for her? It's a little insulting to Kaitlyn, IMO.

I get the sense that given Shawn's parents' divorce (and how it came to be) he questions not only other mens' intentions, but also a woman's judgment.
Again, this goes back to Kaitlyn maybe reminding Shawn of his mother.

I feel absolutely robbed of KaitBoo romance. You just gotta know there was some wonderful stuff cut to the editing room floor. Shame on you, tptb.

Does anyone wonder if she would've slept with Shawn instead of Nick pre-FD, what would've happened?

And why does Kaitlyn worry about the longevity of marriage, etc. with Nick? I almost think Kaitlyn is worried that he would lose interest in her long term? Maybe Shawn IS the safer choice? Maybe Nick challenges her in a different way than Shawn, in a way she doesn't feel comfortable being challenged in?

Ben H shined in this episode, up until the limo ride home.  I wanted Kaitlyn to keep him and send Shawn home.  But I agree with previous posts that it seems like he was reading cue cards or saying the standard things he should be saying and was not too upset.  It was all, aw shucks, "I'll miss that girl," she was a good'un.  And then maybe they told him he should say her name so it seems like they were closer.  

I would rather see someone cry and lament that he thought she was his wife, etc., but still he seems refreshing somehow and I think he seems too clean/boring because we didn't get a chance to know these guys at all this season.

I can barely look at Shawn anymore - he looks like a troll with crazy eyes, and I initially thought he was attractive back when he was winning the first impression rose.  It seems weird to me that people see a stronger connection between Shawn and Kaitlyn than between Nick and Kaitlyn.  Seems forced to me, especially in the morning after the FS - they both looked pissed off.  

And I am comparing it to prior seasons.  For example, Sean and Catherine, who clearly did not want to say goodbye to each other.  Shawn is even making Josh look good - and I thought Josh had weird trust issues with that lie detector test Andi pulled. It even seemed like the confusion for Kaitlyn came after meeting Shawn's family and not after meeting Nick's, so that seems to go against the idea of a Shawn/Kaitlyn ending.

I also agree with posts that Nick is looking better after Shawn's little confrontation/lecture.  There was no point to it other than Shawn "getting it off his chest," because he wasn't willing to converse.  The big point to me is that Shawn cannot admit to mistakes or have rational discussions and Nick can do both.  

I don't care if you think Nick makes 10x the amount of mistakes - he is better for owning up to them and is more sincere even when behaving in an unfortunate way because he understands himself and his emotions.  And I'm sorry, but being afraid that your mom will cry is not a good way to live life, so I don't really think Nick should base his decision to go on the show on his family's emotions. He clearly cares about them, but it's his life and his risk.

As for his portrayal of sex as "fiance-type stuff" last season, I think the context was a lot different.  I think Andi knew full well she wasn't choosing him and went with it.  I think in this situation, it was more informal (fine, call it casual) with plenty of other guys still there and was truly about being "in the moment."  It can still be meaningful, but does not have the same expectation or meaning it had with Andi at that moment in time because of when it happened and who the women are.

If Shawn does settle down and loses the crazy post-show with Kaitlyn, he might just bore her to death.  At least Nick would still make a good conversation partner after the drama is over.

Thank you pandora

My 16 mo old just looked at me like I'm waka-doodles because I almost spit out my iced tea, I was laughing so hard at the N&S "champagne silence". Too funny. That ridiculousness lasted over a minute.

Imo, Kaitlyn telling Shawn's sisters she never felt the way she felt when she met Shawn for anyone else and then her having Nick and his family so worried and she was like, "Promise" when Nick said he loved/falling in love with her to be disturbing to watch.

Imo, Kaitlyn likes guys fighting for and over her. No wonder she liked it when Nick came on the show. Her ego was flattered. I think that is all that matters to her -- that her ego gets stroked and nothing more.

jmho

I dunno, I feel like I hear these thing every single season by the lead. Especially during MTP and LCD. So many contradicting declarations, I don't even pay attention to it anymore.

^^^ Responding to the long post above... Kaitboo did not want to say goodbye to each other. Kaitlyn even said it. IMO, the body language between Shawn and kait was off the charts. She was so giddy around Shawn during MTP.

It is the same song and dance but never before have their been only two guys for HTDs and a lead who acknowledges the pain the F2 went through with his family and said family is there to witness the F2 situation - actually see their family member who had been F2 previously in the F2 spot again in person.

So yeah, it is a bit different to me because it is unprecedented even if the song and dance is not. jmho

Every year they say the same thing and every year it's like it's a novelty. I don't get it. Except this year we have the added weirdness of instead of how can she keep a single parent/tragedy to f2, it's crying mom/baby sis to f2?

agentcurls wrote:And why does Kaitlyn worry about the longevity of marriage, etc. with Nick? I almost think Kaitlyn is worried that he would lose interest in her long term? ***snipped*** Maybe Nick challenges her in a different way than Shawn, in a way she doesn't feel comfortable being challenged in?

I'm actually not watching the show, so I missed this part if anyone has mentioned it before ...
Interesting, so she asked that? Herself in PI/ITM or Nick? - Did she voice concern over Nick's lasting interest?
Or maybe she was wondering whether herself could be interested in him over the long haul ... or get annoyed of his antics, irritated by him? - Just wondering.
I don't know about the challenge per se, but I guess Nick does make Kaitlyn "think" more (if that's the challenge, then yes I agree) ... and maybe makes her aware of things/people/feelings around her ... which it can be uncomfortable for a person who prefers to not acknowledge the future consequences and doesn't bother with the chain reaction of events, but lives in the moment.

agentcurls wrote:Nick seems to handle conflict better than Shawn....however, it doesn't make Shawn a bad person.

I wish Shawn wouldn't question Nick's intentions with Kaitlyn. If he thinks Kaitlyn is so wonderful, why can't Nick be there 125% for her? It's a little insulting to Kaitlyn, IMO.

I get the sense that given Shawn's parents' divorce (and how it came to be) he questions not only other mens' intentions, but also a woman's judgment.
Again, this goes back to Kaitlyn maybe reminding Shawn of his mother.

I feel absolutely robbed of KaitBoo romance. You just gotta know there was some wonderful stuff cut to the editing room floor. Shame on you, tptb.

I'm sure that's true, but, then, I feel like he should get some serious therapy before entering into a long-term relationship. You just can't have a healthy relationship if you basically think that your partner is stupid and unable to make wise decisions on her own. I don't think that not being able to handle conflict makes Shawn a bad person, I just think it makes him a bad romantic partner. I've seen men (and women) like that and their relationships are dysfunctional to the MAX. Either the couple is fighting all the time (and because they are just attacking each other and not really expressing feelings, nothing ever gets resolved) or the other person holds in his/her feelings all the time, not to rock the boat, which leads to resentment and passive-aggressive behavior.

Right now, I can sense that the latter is going to happen with this relationship. I don't doubt that they are seriously infatuated with each other, but I think that Shawn has a lot of growing up to do so that they can have a balanced relationship.