Ben Higgins - Bachelorette 11 - *Spoilers - Sleuthing* - Discussion #2

Lol why should Ben say anything about a situation that doesn't involves him. The world doesn't revolve around Nick and his feelings? Lol

^Yeah. It's not Ben's job to defend Nick's honor. If that is expected of him shouldn't it be expected of all the guys in the cast? Nick can defend himself while simultaneously promoting himself to be the next lead.

And Ben clearly loves Shawn. That is becoming increasingly more obvious. He and Nick aren't close buddies.

Ben also posted an Insta with him, Shawn and Megan the producer and wrote the location as "Shawn Booth's world," it's pretty clear to me that they're real bffs. Not sure what Nick has to do with anything here. Ben is actually friends with Shawn and Kait and that's why they're campaigning hard for him and he posts love to them imo. Both Shawn and Kait seem to have crushes on him also

Yep from me too. If Ben is taking the "don't have anything nice to say don't say anything" approach re Nick or K&S's comments isn't that mature, nice thing to do and what so many thought Shawn should do? But really I expect he hasn't put any thought into Nick or even noticed what K&S have said about him post show. Not everyone is spending time worrying about Nick or noticing what media comments were made about him or how to craft the perfect, politically correct, kindest possible words about him. He's just a dude from a season of the show that's over now and they are all living their regular lives. JMO.

Alanna wrote:Ben also posted an Insta with him, Shawn and Megan the producer and wrote the location as "Shawn Booth's world," it's pretty clear to me that they're real bffs. Not sure what Nick has to do with anything here. Ben is actually friends with Shawn and Kait and that's why they're campaigning hard for him and he posts love to them imo. Both Shawn and Kait seem to have crushes on him also

Where? I dont see the post..?

But yeah, even Kaitlyn posted a heart eye emoji under the comments of Ben holding Shawn (Megans pic).

I respect all of your opinions. But I do look a bit differently at Ben. His bff is a mean spirited jealous guy. Who you consider a bff says a lot about a person.

No one else has to share my opinion that is okay with me.

Let me say, I don't expect Ben to say a word about Nick, but when you endorse K&S and their immaturity as a whole it speaks volumes to me.

IDK--I kind of take the term bff with a grain of salt. One guy is 26. The other is 28.(going on 14)
I am sure they are close friends via the show, but I would think they each must have some equally close friends outside the show.

stuckinsc wrote:I respect all of your opinions. But I do look a bit differently at Ben.  His bff is a mean spirited jealous guy.  Who you consider a bff says a lot about a person.

No one else has to share my opinion that is okay with me.  

Let me say, I don't expect Ben to say a word about Nick, but when you endorse K&S and their immaturity as a whole it speaks volumes to me.

I understand where you are coming from. You are the company you keep, right? Idk. Maybe I would feel differently if Shawn were dropping gay slurs, making racist jokes or anything of that nature. As problematic as he is, I do think there is some good there. JMO.

Ben is also friends with JJ who we know is not S biggest fan. I'm sure he appreciates his/their support but Ben will outgrow the need for association soon enough with or without TB gig. I don't see BFF at all. I see a guy I shared a room with that made the experience more fun.

BlackHalo wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:I respect all of your opinions. But I do look a bit differently at Ben.  His bff is a mean spirited jealous guy.  Who you consider a bff says a lot about a person.

No one else has to share my opinion that is okay with me.  

Let me say, I don't expect Ben to say a word about Nick, but when you endorse K&S and their immaturity as a whole it speaks volumes to me.

I understand where you are coming from. You are the company you keep, right? Idk. Maybe I would feel differently if Shawn were dropping gay slurs, making racist jokes or anything of that nature. As problematic as he is, I do think there is some good there. JMO.

Shawn's fiance continues to make gay jokes about Clint and JJ. By doing so it is not only annoying to Clint and JJ, but her doing so makes it seem like it would be an issue if they were. I find that very disrespectful to people who are gay. Again, just my own bias.

I can see Kasha's point that they are tv bff's. So sure if they cool down, awesome. It seems they are both continuing to share how close and awesome they are with each other. That is an endorsement to me. If it dies down, great. I just don't like it. JMO.

stuckinsc wrote:I respect all of your opinions. But I do look a bit differently at Ben.  His bff is a mean spirited jealous guy.  Who you consider a bff says a lot about a person.

No one else has to share my opinion that is okay with me.  

Let me say, I don't expect Ben to say a word about Nick, but when you endorse K&S and their immaturity as a whole it speaks volumes to me.

Ben hasn't endorsed K and S' immaturity or even their relationship, really. He sent out a congratulatory tweet, which wasn't even a real congratulations, it was a silly little joke about Shawn's hair and some other insignificant thing. And that's it.

I also dont necessarily think the whole "who your friends are says who you are" is all that true. So, if you dont agree with a lot of what your friend says/does but loves them for what they do say/do, does the bad overweigh the good? No. You love them through the good and bad. That's what people consider a true friend. You dont have to agree with everything, but you still care about the person. It's the same with any human realtionship. And Ben has shown that he is loyal to the people he cares about, no matter what outsiders believe/say, in when he stuck up and publicly hangs out with JJ. And I guess the same could be said for the Shawn situation. So it seems like Ben isnt the type to just drop someone based on hersay. And good for him. As I've said time and time again, we dont know these people. The people that spent time with these people knows these people. Not us, who watched them on the big screen. So, it's not like our opinions outweigh whatver the truth is, if there even is a truth anyway. And also, like I said the other day, EVERYONE loves Sharleen, and her closest friends are Kelly, Nicki, and Andi (women most of you dont like), **edited**And Sharleen has already proven that she is very neutral to anything and everything, so what's the major difference here?? There isnt really one.

I think most people have a few questionable friends and even the best of friends can be polar opposites. If Ben and Shawn have a true friendship, Ben won't distance himself based on things that don't involve him. Shawn is just being petty about Nick. IMO, this is nothing more than a bitter rivalry that feels very high school at this point. Hardly worth ending a friendship over. Ben probably only cares about his relationship with Shawn and the good that Shawn does for him. And I'm sure Sharleen feels the same way about those "mean girls" she is such close friends with. The reality is, sometimes you only care about how someone treats you, not how they treat others.