Kaitlyn Bristowe - Shawn Booth - Bachelorette 11 - *Spoilers - Sleuthing* - Discussion

Relalou wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:Wow, I fundamentally disagree with that. Downplaying is pretty much a close relative of the world "lying". So, she's basically lying about her past relationship to earn someone's trust? Basic contradiction there. The  way to earn someone's trust is to say "hey, this is the messy path that it took me to get to you. I had feelings for him, strong feelings even, but I realized that they did not compare to what I had with you".

Chasingpavements that may indeed be what she has said to Shawn, but there is a great deal of difference between what you share privately with your fiancé after the show is over and what you choose to share over SM with fans of the show.  It is hard to protect the feelings of a fiancé when he, and all the world, have heard you engaging in love making with someone else.  The least she can do - if she truly wants things to work out with Shawn - is to minimize future hurt by being careful about what she puts out in public from this point on.  I'm not sure about Kaitlyn or her feelings, but she is now in the position of receiving criticism for sleeping with 2 or more guys and then criticism for not describing her feelings/dates in more depth with the guy she apparently didn't choose.  Damned if she does and damned if she doesn't!   Seems like the life lesson is to explore one relationship at a time - something that runs contrary to everything this show is about!

Sorry, but writing the blogs, I don't care what she posts on SM, but writing the blogs is part of her contract to be the bachelorette. She is paid to talk about what was happening in her head, at that moment not now. They are not there for the F1, they are there for the viewing audience, and writing them to include everyone is part of what she is paid for. If she wants to give back part of her bachelorette salary because she is unable to fulfill her contract, then great, but otherwise, do your job. If her F1 can not handle that she had feelings for someone else and she needs to minimize for him and not do her job, then they might as well break up now and save themselves the grief. All those things were before she chose him and her strong feelings for someone else means that her feelings for F1 were even greater to be picked over that other guy. I guess for me, I would rather be first because I was really the one she really, really wanted then be the default because there was no one else better. JMO

CP and AAL, I agree.  I couldn't disagree more with ever thinking sugar coating or down playing a past relationship to make the current one work is a good idea.  I know for a fact it none of the guys I'm friends with or I've ever been a a relationship with would have appreciated me or their gf's doing that to them.  

If there are trust issues, you build it by being honest not hiding things or sugar coating them.  The truth always comes out in the end.  And normally it bites you when it does.  IMO, it's better to be honest and deal with it.  If one can't or won't deal with the truth, then it's not meant to be.

Kaitlyn is trying to protect her relationship with Shawn is everything I need to know that she is still pandering to his every whim. Didn't she call him "BOSS" in one her blogs?

It also shows me that Shawn still doesn't have his big boy pants on.

IMO, if Shawn was secure and had his big pants on he would tell Kaitlyn, "Do your job, I have you and that is all I wanted so no worries about writing about your past feelings for someone that is not with you." :Nod:

(Sure it can be said to be Kaitlyn's choice and that Shawn has told her this but honestly, IMO, if they really were this happy couple just snapchatting away what does it hurt to recap what led Nick to be one of Kaitlyn's guys in the first place? That she won't do so is just immature/insecurity, imo.)

bleuberry wrote:I would agree that their love story is one of the better ones had Kaitlyn not allowed Nick to return and everything else after that. It had so much potential but it feels all muddled up now. For starters, their fans (myself included) get to hear her having sex with her f2 while claiming Shawn was who she wanted. Not exactly giving me the feels .

Haha, I don't think even the most passionate Kaitlyn/Nick fans wanted to actually hear them having sex. "I want to know every part of you", followed by "I could get a hold of you"? Ew, ew, ew.

Relalou wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:Wow, I fundamentally disagree with that. Downplaying is pretty much a close relative of the world "lying". So, she's basically lying about her past relationship to earn someone's trust? Basic contradiction there. The  way to earn someone's trust is to say "hey, this is the messy path that it took me to get to you. I had feelings for him, strong feelings even, but I realized that they did not compare to what I had with you".

Chasingpavements that may indeed be what she has said to Shawn, but there is a great deal of difference between what you share privately with your fiancé after the show is over and what you choose to share over SM with fans of the show.  It is hard to protect the feelings of a fiancé when he, and all the world, have heard you engaging in love making with someone else.  The least she can do - if she truly wants things to work out with Shawn - is to minimize future hurt by being careful about what she puts out in public from this point on.  I'm not sure about Kaitlyn or her feelings, but she is now in the position of receiving criticism for sleeping with 2 or more guys and then criticism for not describing her feelings/dates in more depth with the guy she apparently didn't choose.  Damned if she does and damned if she doesn't!   Seems like the life lesson is to explore one relationship at a time - something that runs contrary to everything this show is about!

See, I don't really buy that she has told Shawn the truth. She denied sexting with Nick in response to JP's tweet, although we have multiple different sources saying that they did. Shawn's sister favorited an article saying that she wanted to bring Ben to F2, which makes me think that's what she told Shawn and their family. In her blog, she only talks about how physical her relationship with Nick was, although she had said that he brings out her sensitive side and ability to have deep conversation. I just don't get the feeling she's been honest with Shawn. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's just my gut.

I also feel like her main job responsibility is not to protect her relationship, but to write her blog form the feelings she had at the time and to keep up suspense for the finale. That's what she got paid 5 figures to do and that's the job she fought and campaigned to get. To just not do it because it's too difficult? I just think that's lazy and irresponsible. I also think that if Shawn can't handle her being publicly honest about her feelings for Nick, things are doomed. Molly dealt with Jason telling everyone "yeah, I picked Melissa because...I liked the way she looked" and Chris dealt with Des telling everyone that Brooks was the first guy she fell in love with on the show and he broke her heart by leaving, something she reiterated in her blogs. I just don't see what's so special about Shawn that he can't handle with both Molly and Chris were able to.

I'm still fascinated that so many think Shawn is the one forcing her to downplay, avoid, etc. talking about Nick. It's like some think she has no mind of her own. So every interesting as someone who frankly doesn't care for any member of the three involved.

stuckinsc wrote:

Relalou wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:Wow, I fundamentally disagree with that. Downplaying is pretty much a close relative of the world "lying". So, she's basically lying about her past relationship to earn someone's trust? Basic contradiction there. The  way to earn someone's trust is to say "hey, this is the messy path that it took me to get to you. I had feelings for him, strong feelings even, but I realized that they did not compare to what I had with you".

Chasingpavements that may indeed be what she has said to Shawn, but there is a great deal of difference between what you share privately with your fiancé after the show is over and what you choose to share over SM with fans of the show.  It is hard to protect the feelings of a fiancé when he, and all the world, have heard you engaging in love making with someone else.  The least she can do - if she truly wants things to work out with Shawn - is to minimize future hurt by being careful about what she puts out in public from this point on.  I'm not sure about Kaitlyn or her feelings, but she is now in the position of receiving criticism for sleeping with 2 or more guys and then criticism for not describing her feelings/dates in more depth with the guy she apparently didn't choose.  Damned if she does and damned if she doesn't!   Seems like the life lesson is to explore one relationship at a time - something that runs contrary to everything this show is about!

Sorry, but writing the blogs, I don't care what she posts on SM, but writing the blogs is part of her contract to be the bachelorette. She is paid to talk about what was happening in her head, at that moment not now.  They are not there for the F1, they are there for the viewing audience, and writing them to include everyone is part of what she is paid for. If she wants to give back part of her bachelorette salary because she is unable to fulfill her contract, then great, but otherwise, do your job.  If her F1 can not handle that she had feelings for someone else and she needs to minimize for him and not do her job, then they might as well break up now and save themselves the grief.  All those things were before she chose him and her strong feelings for someone else means that her feelings for F1 were even greater to be picked over that other guy.  I guess for me, I would rather be first because I was really the one she really, really wanted then be the default because there was no one else better. JMO

There have been staff/interns that have written the blogs for the cast person in past seasons. I can not off the top of my head remember specifically who, but I know this is true. So it can't be something the main is contractually held to do. I would think this is up for debate.

AllAboutLove wrote:Kaitlyn is trying to protect her relationship with Shawn is everything I need to know that she is still pandering to his every whim. Didn't she call him "BOSS" in one her blogs?

It also shows me that Shawn still doesn't have his big boy pants on.

IMO, if Shawn was secure and had his big pants on he would tell Kaitlyn, "Do your job, I have you and that is all I wanted so no worries about writing about your past feelings for someone that is not with you."


Sure it can be said to be Kaitlyn's choice and that Shawn has told her this but honestly, IMO, if they really were this happy couple just snapchatting away what does it hurt to recap what led Nick to be one of Kaitlyn's guys in the first place? That she won't do so is just immature/insecurity, imo.

First the term Boss was used in slang meaning he handled the sex reveal like a pro/boss not that he is her boss. Also, as I mentioned earlier maybe there is another reason that she downplays her relationship with Nick and her friends like Jillian are critical of him. Shawn is not the reason behind everything she does.  Jmho

umngirl wrote:I'm still fascinated that so many think Shawn is the one forcing her to downplay, avoid, etc. talking about Nick. It's like some think she has no mind of her own. So every interesting as someone who frankly doesn't care for any member of the three involved.

I think that there's really only two possibilities - 1) Shawn is threatened by what he's seen on TV and what he's heard about their pre-filming relationship; Kaitlyn is downplaying her relationship with Nick to prove to Shawn that it's always been him or 2) Nick had a huge fight with Kaitlyn and/or Shawn. Now Kaitlyn hates him so much that she can't even write or speak his name.

Honestly, I think that both possibilities are valid. I do remember that in her initial, pre-SC-gate blog about Nick, she said in her blog that they were the closest two people can be without ever meeting. It was after SC that her tone suddenly changed. So, could it be that SC caused some kind of confrontation between N and K/S? Or, could it be just a coincidence in timing, with the change in tone occurring because Shawn was angry and jealous about what he saw on TV and tabloids and RS? I'm not sure we'll know until ATFR, if then.

1. Kait said Shawn handled the sex reveal like a boss, not that he's the boss in their relationship. This is how we play broken telephone all day long here
2. We have zero idea what Kait says to Shawn in private, he may know absolutely everything that happened with Nick and her feelings. We just don't know.
3. If she looks back on her relationship with Nick and can't muster anything about his ily, perhaps that's just what it is. Her actual bosses, tptb, seem not to care about her blogs and media or even her snap, so I guess her behavior as an employee must suit them just fine.
4. Kait isn't an extension of Shawn, her dad, or any other male. She's her own person. I don't see her being forced, coerced, manipulated or threatened into anything here. She seems proud of being a strong person so I'm not sure why it's all suddenly about being controlled by Shawn.

All jmo, as usual.

I don't like Kaitlyn at all and I agree, her actions are her responsibility. Choosing to minimize for whatever reason is on her and her alone.

I would hope that Shawn would think, I won the girl, so TOG can suck it. Now if the girl keeps lying to him about stuff that is on her and not TOG's fault or TPTB's fault.

isittrue wrote:Also, as I mentioned earlier maybe there is another reason that she downplays her relationship with Nick and her friends like Jillian are critical of him. Shawn is not the reason behind everything she does.  Jmho

^^^ This
IMO

I don't think anyone is saying that Shawn is literally controlling her. Just that her actions are done with the purpose of protecting Shawn's feelings. No different than what Brad did for Emily or how Ali told Roberto that Frank leaving was no big deal.