Kaitlyn Bristowe - Shawn Booth - Bachelorette 11 - *Spoilers - Sleuthing* - Discussion

chasingpavements wrote:Like I've said, I'm sure that something did happen between them post-filming but I do still judge her as her one job after filming is to keep the secret. Instead, she released a pic of her F1 in bed, will barely mention F2 in blogs, and will block anyone who even mentions Shawn in a negative light.  Even if Nick did something awful to her, she should suck it up and do her job that she got paid a full year's salary for.

Since the cat is out of the bag, she probably figured she was damned if she didn't/damned if she did. If she was gushing about Nick and him saying ILY, surely she would catch flack for that (from Shawn AND the general public) since Shawn is her chosen one.
I also think she isn't playing by the rules because of what tptb put her through and her and Shawn's perceived edit. She's going rogue and I can't say that I blame her.

mindless wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:Talking about him in the blogs is her JOB.

In her latest blog about Episode 9, Kaitlyn wrote 534 words about Ben (all about their FD because she didn't meet his parents), 496 words about Nick and meeting his parents, and 628 words about Shawn and meeting his parents. A little imbalanced - but by no means did she ignore anyone.
JMHO

It's not just how much she talks about them, it's what she talks about. How many of those 496 words were about Nick and NOT his family? She totally left out his declaration of love both before the family meeting and after. Those are things that are the most essential in this "journey" and she chooses to skip over them? That speaks volumes.

So, she does write some things about Nick, not just what his fans want to read, Reading this forum, and not her blog, I thought she says nothing at all about him. IMO, the reason she didn't talk about NIck's ILU is because she doesn't pick him, so it is really not relevant. Doesn't her blog have to be approved by TP before being submitted. I don't think she calls the shot on these blogs, there is someone who approves the final copy, and I don't think it's her. I remember JPG was so disjointedness bcs they kept removing some information she wanted on her blog, finally he gave up and just submitted what was approved.

Let's be honest, she talked more about Ben's FS than she did about Nicks Dublin, FS, and ILY combined. She obviously cared more about Nick then she did about Ben, yet that is not apparent at all in her blogs. The ILY might not be relevant now, but it was relevant 3 months ago and that's the prespective she's supposed to be writing from.

Lucas15 wrote:

agentcurls wrote:She was probably testing him. And she was smart to tell him at that moment instead of him finding out after saying ILY & proposing. It probably made all the difference that she did. I don't think he was pleased with the info, but appreciated her honesty.

I think there was a test embedded in that conversation, but it was a test for both of them - not just Shawn.

What has been most fascinating to me about this season is watching how these two communicate - especially how they communicate about heavy issues. I think there are two "defining moments" that stand out to me.

The first one is when Kaitlyn told Shawn about having had sex with Nick. If Shawn was the green eyed jealous controlling monster that many think he is, that is the moment that would have come out in spades. But it didn't; Shawn thought for a few moments and in a very calm voice asked "Do you regret it?" That's an incredibly good question - if her answer was "no" then he knew all he needed to know - that his relationship with Kaitlyn meant a whole lot less to her than it did to him and he should cut his losses and leave. If her answer was "yes" then it meant something more similar to both of them and he should stay. But her answer was neither a yes or a no - it was "I feel guilty". Kaitlyn could not say "yes" because she seems to be pretty firm in her belief that sex is not something to be ashamed of, it's a natural part of a physical relationship that is important to her and not something she is wired to regret. But feeling guilty is IMO exactly what she felt and really answers Shawn's questions about her feelings for him - it's so clever because it's the truth for Kaitlyn and at the same time is reassuring to Shawn - at least enough for him to stay and pursue the relationship.

The second one is what Kaitlyn said to Shawn at the RC; "I think I am here to explore other relationships because at the end of this I will never explore another relationship. It will not happen." This loses a bit in the translation to a transcription because she put particular emphasis on "It will not happen." when she said those words. In that sentence she's basically saying that at the end of this she is going to be faithful to whoever she picks and she's "off the market". That's a powerful reassurance. She also says "I was telling you - and only you - that it went too far. And I did feel guilty about it." In that sentence she's giving another reassurance to Shawn - that he is "someone special" and she is giving him special consideration that she is not giving to anyone else. Then she launches into two statements about trust - which she knows is an issue to Shawn because IMO he's told her more than has been shared publicly about his parents divorce and why trust is such an issue for him. "Do you think that at the end of this that maybe like I won't be someone that you can trust? ... You'll have to trust me - and I just don't think you do." This might seem like it's a challenge to Shawn but it's also a challenge to herself - if she knows that trust is important to Shawn and that he has doubts and that he might not trust her at the end then she has to somehow navigate the rest of the show in such a way that she doesn't further erode that trust. I don't know how exactly she went about doing that but it would appear to me that she does.
JMHO

Great post Lucas! In addition, she ask Shawn,"do you know how important this relationship is to me?" not the exact word.

For comparison (source:people.com)
Nick's FS -
I was ready to leave Killarney behind and take the next step in my journey. Arriving to Cork for my date with Nick was exciting. He is a very touchy, hands-on kind of guy if you didn't notice – always kissing me and picking me up! So yes, that's why I always say the connection is physical. But this date was nice. It was different. When we walked into that beautiful cathedral and it brought Nick back to his childhood, it was great to hear him open up about his past.

He grew up with a religious family and was in church often. It meant a lot to him to talk about that and to share those stories with me. You could tell they were happy memories of growing up. It was nice to see him light up when he was reminiscing. We lit a candle for a few people, and it just felt peaceful. I will admit, after the church, we were feeling very spiritual! It felt great to connect in that way. And how cute was the story about how his parents met! See? They met and were engaged within months and are still together!

Ben's FS -

Meanwhile Ben is just enjoying his time with me and being his positive self. Two things that are on my very long bucket list: visiting Ireland and riding a horse. I killed two birds with one stone on this date! And to cross both those items off the list with a handsome guy, that was icing on the cake!

What you guys didn't see was that Chip (my horse) was a little stinker. He kept going to eat grass and throwing my body forward while he ate. He could tell my little biceps couldn't control his powerful body, and he took advantage of that. I would try and pull him back, but he just took me down. This happened approximately 14 times, it was quite hilarious. And I thought Ben's horse was the feisty one! What I will say, Ben was the perfect guy for this date. That time with our horses had its romantic moments, but it was filled with laughter, too. And that is a winning combination in my book.

Having a picnic in front of a beautiful 19th-century castle didn't feel real. It looked like a movie set or a picture out of a fairytale. And do you know what's crazy? A person actually lives in that castle! Must be nice. That was one of the most memorable picnics I think I'll ever have. Not just because of the scenery but the company.

I loved spending time with Ben, and I liked that he felt comfortable with me. I always felt comfortable with him; he was very easy to be around. When Ben came to meet me at the front of the castle, I had just worked my glutes by walking up a thousand stairs to the top of the castle, all just to be cheesy and romantic when I welcomed him – it was very fairy tale-ish of me. Except when I met him in the front entrance I was sweating and out of breath, but it was WORTH IT.

In our conversation together, I couldn't help but think how easily it flowed between us. And I loved how worried he was about telling me his age. Cute. Age was never anything but a number with Ben. I think everyone can agree with me that he is a mature 26. You can tell he has lived life, had experiences and is ready for looooove. He is also a smooth talker; he doesn't even realize how much game he has. All of the things Ben says, he means. It always comes from the heart with him and he is one of the most genuine people I have met.

My favorite part about our Fantasy Suite, aside from staying in that gorgeous castle, was that we had time to hang out just the two of us with no one else around. We just got to be weird together. We had a dance party, we ate a lot of cheese and we tried to explore the dark castle, but it was too scary. Haha. We actually had a fun sleepover. I was really hoping he was going to be a dud so that my decisions could get easier haha. But dud he was not.

Shawn's FS -
Although my Fantasy Suite with Ben was great, going to see Shawn was something I was looking forward to. We were having a tough time, but I had been honest and so had he. We had gotten through a struggle, and I knew that we were going to be able to get back to us, whack some balls, share some laughs and probably kiss a lot. Just be Kaitlyn and Shawn. And that's exactly what happened.

That was one of my favorite days. I definitely felt like myself with Shawn, and I really loved the idea of golfing with him for the next 40 years. I have a pretty sweeeeet swing if I do say so myself. Shawn is unreal in so many other ways so I loved that I could keep up with his talents. Rory McIlroy was the first person to drive the green on this par 4, and Shawn was the first to sink a putt buck naked. It was impressive, and so was the putt. HA.

Wanna know why he was wearing those long john undies? Because he didn't want underwear lines under his tight pants. (Laundry day, my toosh). I had to run away with his clothes – when would I get this opportunity again?! I wanted to throw them in the lake, at the least the long underwear. But all the goofiness aside, Shawn actually gave me a really beautiful four-leaf clover Alex and Ani bracelet that day, too. Very sweet.

After a great day I was ready for a great dinner, and I DID NOT want to bring up Nick. But I did want to get to the bottom of it and kind of put it to bed. Enough was enough, and I wanted to know they both could man up and sort out whatever hate was going on between the two of them. I didn't want to be the middle man anymore, listening to them complain to me about each other.

I'm glad Shawn told me he visited Nick to address the situation. (Even though I still believe nothing was solved). I think Shawn and I both felt like more time was what we needed, so accepting Chris Harrison's offer for the Fantasy Suite was a no-brainer. The two of us wanted to spend more time talking, and I'm happy we took the time to do that. It helped us a lot, and it was not only necessary but very well-deserved.

In conclusion, 2 paragraphs for Nicks FS vs 5 for both Shawn and Ben. Spent most of nicks recap implying relationship is just physical. Also, she never wrote about their Dublin date, just defended the sex, and never mentioned his ILY. Pretty clear she's rewriting history, IMO

agentcurls wrote:^I think there is more to this story that we haven't heard about just yet....or maybe never will.

AC so do I.

Maggenzm wrote:So, she does write some things about Nick, not just what his fans want to read, Reading this forum, and not her blog, I thought she says nothing at all about him. IMO, the reason she didn't talk about NIck's ILU is because she doesn't pick him, so it is really not relevant. Doesn't her blog have to be approved by TP before being submitted. I don't think she calls the shot on these blogs, there is someone who approves the final copy, and I don't think it's her. I remember JPG was so disjointedness bcs they kept removing some information she wanted on her blog, finally he gave up and just submitted what was approved.

I agree. IMO she's writing in her blog what was relevant to her at the time though that may not be what people want to hear. She sat stone-faced while Nick cried in Dublin when she asked him not to disclose what happened on their 1-1 date so she was not filled with loving feelings then. If she did not fear he would spill the beans she would never have asked him not to - she would have trusted him not to - but she didn't trust him so she felt she had to ask him. Why should she write differently in her blog?

And IMO blogs do have to be approved - and are probably rewritten for grammar and reviewed for content by a staff writer / producer; I think they are giving her some latitude though.

Lucas15 wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:It is interesting how differently we see things! I see two people who are constantly playing mind games with each other and challenging each other, because of their insecurities and neediness. I think that they bring out the worst in each other and I will forever give up my cynic ways if they make it past this calendar year.  

IMO there's nobody who walks the earth today who's perfect; we all have strengths and weaknesses, we all have needs and we all have insecurities - they're just not the same for everybody. The relationships that stand the greatest chance of surviving are ones where our needs turn out to be things that our partner is willing able to give and our insecurities are things our partner is willing and able to make us feel secure about - and vice versa - it's a two way street and we can't see if there's a fit - they are the only ones who can do that.

What I see are two people who are trying to figure out if, how, when and in what ways they can meet each other needs and make each other feel secure - and that is way ahead of what most couples on this show ever get to do let alone show us how they struggle to figure it all out.
JMHO

Thank U Lucas! We do tend to forget that.

chasingpavements wrote:For comparison (source:people.com)
Nick's FS -
I was ready to leave Killarney behind and take the next step in my journey. Arriving to Cork for my date with Nick was exciting. He is a very touchy, hands-on kind of guy if you didn't notice – always kissing me and picking me up! So yes, that's why I always say the connection is physical. But this date was nice. It was different. When we walked into that beautiful cathedral and it brought Nick back to his childhood, it was great to hear him open up about his past.

He grew up with a religious family and was in church often. It meant a lot to him to talk about that and to share those stories with me. You could tell they were happy memories of growing up. It was nice to see him light up when he was reminiscing. We lit a candle for a few people, and it just felt peaceful. I will admit, after the church, we were feeling very spiritual! It felt great to connect in that way. And how cute was the story about how his parents met! See? They met and were engaged within months and are still together!

Ben's FS -

Meanwhile Ben is just enjoying his time with me and being his positive self. Two things that are on my very long bucket list: visiting Ireland and riding a horse. I killed two birds with one stone on this date! And to cross both those items off the list with a handsome guy, that was icing on the cake!

What you guys didn't see was that Chip (my horse) was a little stinker. He kept going to eat grass and throwing my body forward while he ate. He could tell my little biceps couldn't control his powerful body, and he took advantage of that. I would try and pull him back, but he just took me down. This happened approximately 14 times, it was quite hilarious. And I thought Ben's horse was the feisty one! What I will say, Ben was the perfect guy for this date. That time with our horses had its romantic moments, but it was filled with laughter, too. And that is a winning combination in my book.

Having a picnic in front of a beautiful 19th-century castle didn't feel real. It looked like a movie set or a picture out of a fairytale. And do you know what's crazy? A person actually lives in that castle! Must be nice. That was one of the most memorable picnics I think I'll ever have. Not just because of the scenery but the company.

I loved spending time with Ben, and I liked that he felt comfortable with me. I always felt comfortable with him; he was very easy to be around. When Ben came to meet me at the front of the castle, I had just worked my glutes by walking up a thousand stairs to the top of the castle, all just to be cheesy and romantic when I welcomed him – it was very fairy tale-ish of me. Except when I met him in the front entrance I was sweating and out of breath, but it was WORTH IT.

In our conversation together, I couldn't help but think how easily it flowed between us. And I loved how worried he was about telling me his age. Cute. Age was never anything but a number with Ben. I think everyone can agree with me that he is a mature 26. You can tell he has lived life, had experiences and is ready for looooove. He is also a smooth talker; he doesn't even realize how much game he has. All of the things Ben says, he means. It always comes from the heart with him and he is one of the most genuine people I have met.

My favorite part about our Fantasy Suite, aside from staying in that gorgeous castle, was that we had time to hang out just the two of us with no one else around. We just got to be weird together. We had a dance party, we ate a lot of cheese and we tried to explore the dark castle, but it was too scary. Haha. We actually had a fun sleepover. I was really hoping he was going to be a dud so that my decisions could get easier haha. But dud he was not.

Shawn's FS -
Although my Fantasy Suite with Ben was great, going to see Shawn was something I was looking forward to. We were having a tough time, but I had been honest and so had he. We had gotten through a struggle, and I knew that we were going to be able to get back to us, whack some balls, share some laughs and probably kiss a lot. Just be Kaitlyn and Shawn. And that's exactly what happened.

That was one of my favorite days. I definitely felt like myself with Shawn, and I really loved the idea of golfing with him for the next 40 years. I have a pretty sweeeeet swing if I do say so myself. Shawn is unreal in so many other ways so I loved that I could keep up with his talents. Rory McIlroy was the first person to drive the green on this par 4, and Shawn was the first to sink a putt buck naked. It was impressive, and so was the putt. HA.

Wanna know why he was wearing those long john undies? Because he didn't want underwear lines under his tight pants. (Laundry day, my toosh). I had to run away with his clothes – when would I get this opportunity again?! I wanted to throw them in the lake, at the least the long underwear. But all the goofiness aside, Shawn actually gave me a really beautiful four-leaf clover Alex and Ani bracelet that day, too. Very sweet.

After a great day I was ready for a great dinner, and I DID NOT want to bring up Nick. But I did want to get to the bottom of it and kind of put it to bed. Enough was enough, and I wanted to know they both could man up and sort out whatever hate was going on between the two of them. I didn't want to be the middle man anymore, listening to them complain to me about each other.

I'm glad Shawn told me he visited Nick to address the situation. (Even though I still believe nothing was solved). I think Shawn and I both felt like more time was what we needed, so accepting Chris Harrison's offer for the Fantasy Suite was a no-brainer. The two of us wanted to spend more time talking, and I'm happy we took the time to do that. It helped us a lot, and it was not only necessary but very well-deserved.

In conclusion, 2 paragraphs for Nicks FS vs 5 for both Shawn and Ben. Spent most of nicks recap implying relationship is just physical. Also, she never wrote about their Dublin date, just defended the sex, and never mentioned his ILY. Pretty clear she's rewriting history, IMO

Agree with her, they have lust going on with them and no dept JMO

She's just backtracking since she herself said that they were the closest two people can be without meeting, that she really relied on his advice for the two bachelorettes thing, and that Nick brings out a side of her that most people can't, which is her more sensitive side and her ability to have deep conversations.

The notion that their relationship was just physical is one of the many lies she's feeding to Shawn, IMO.

Maggenzm wrote:*snip*

Agree with her, they have lust going on with them and no dept JMO

Yet when talking to CH and Nick's family members she keeps bringing up their deep conversation, not lust.

I must say, if the only thing that was relevant to her about Nick's FD is that he had a religious upbringing then why the eff did she bring him all the way to the podium, slept with him several times and possibly told him she loves him? I could never bring myself to defend someone like that, show or no show. It's absolutely hideous.

But nah, I think she had very strong feelings for Nick and is skipping watching their dates, because it's too hard. It may be hard because she feels bad for hurting him or because she feels guilty about doing all the while Shawn was in the picture, or she just plain hates Nick now. Who knows. But what I do know is that she's doing a crappy job as the lead. She single-handedly spoiled the whole season and now continues doing that in neon letters on her blog every week. Poor work ethic, that. She might be trying to stick it to TPTB because of her poor edit, but I suspect there will be hell to pay for her at ATFR. They can't be happy, even if they're not desperate enough to sue her. I'm sure they're the ones spilling the beans to all the media outlets concerning Nick and her and cutting out nearly all lovey-dovey moments between Shawn and Kaitlyn. They're pissed at her and for a reason.

Interestingly, it's with Shawn that she brings up, what is essentially, lust. The idea that the two of them knew that there was something there just after making eye contact. Sorry to break it to you, Kaitlyn, but that's just lust. And love at first sight has never worked out very well for ex-Bachelor/ette couples.

I agree TBTP are not fans of K and S. Makes me wonder how they will edit the FRC and proposals. I still am hopeful that we get to see a happy ending and an emotional proposal filled with happy tears and ILY between K and S. IMO they have left enough of those scenes in to show there are feelings and love between the 2.