Kaitlyn Bristowe - Shawn Booth - Bachelorette 11 - *Spoilers - Sleuthing* - Discussion

Lets not forget the smirk/ smile on his face after reveling the eskimo issue

agentcurls wrote:She was probably testing him. And she was smart to tell him at that moment instead of him finding out after saying ILY & proposing. It probably made all the difference that she did. I don't think he was pleased with the info, but appreciated her honesty.

I think there was a test embedded in that conversation, but it was a test for both of them - not just Shawn.

What has been most fascinating to me about this season is watching how these two communicate - especially how they communicate about heavy issues. I think there are two "defining moments" that stand out to me.

The first one is when Kaitlyn told Shawn about having had sex with Nick. If Shawn was the green eyed jealous controlling monster that many think he is, that is the moment that would have come out in spades. But it didn't; Shawn thought for a few moments and in a very calm voice asked "Do you regret it?" That's an incredibly good question - if her answer was "no" then he knew all he needed to know - that his relationship with Kaitlyn meant a whole lot less to her than it did to him and he should cut his losses and leave. If her answer was "yes" then it meant something more similar to both of them and he should stay. But her answer was neither a yes or a no - it was "I feel guilty". Kaitlyn could not say "yes" because she seems to be pretty firm in her belief that sex is not something to be ashamed of, it's a natural part of a physical relationship that is important to her and not something she is wired to regret. But feeling guilty is IMO exactly what she felt and really answers Shawn's questions about her feelings for him - it's so clever because it's the truth for Kaitlyn and at the same time is reassuring to Shawn - at least enough for him to stay and pursue the relationship.

The second one is what Kaitlyn said to Shawn at the RC; "I think I am here to explore other relationships because at the end of this I will never explore another relationship. It will not happen." This loses a bit in the translation to a transcription because she put particular emphasis on "It will not happen." when she said those words. In that sentence she's basically saying that at the end of this she is going to be faithful to whoever she picks and she's "off the market". That's a powerful reassurance. She also says "I was telling you - and only you - that it went too far. And I did feel guilty about it." In that sentence she's giving another reassurance to Shawn - that he is "someone special" and she is giving him special consideration that she is not giving to anyone else. Then she launches into two statements about trust - which she knows is an issue to Shawn because IMO he's told her more than has been shared publicly about his parents divorce and why trust is such an issue for him. "Do you think that at the end of this that maybe like I won't be someone that you can trust? ... You'll have to trust me - and I just don't think you do." This might seem like it's a challenge to Shawn but it's also a challenge to herself - if she knows that trust is important to Shawn and that he has doubts and that he might not trust her at the end then she has to somehow navigate the rest of the show in such a way that she doesn't further erode that trust. I don't know how exactly she went about doing that but it would appear to me that she does.
JMHO

Great post Lucas, I love how they communicate too and see something very interesting and unique in their style of relating to each other and hashing out issues.

Regarding that conversation, when Kait recapped it in her snap post-show, she very sassily said, "I told Shawn to get his butt back in there and accept his rose already." So whatever over the top drama was happening, seems like they did resolve it just fine post-show.

Good post Lucas15

stuckinsc wrote:Talking about him in the blogs is her JOB.

In her latest blog about Episode 9, Kaitlyn wrote 534 words about Ben (all about their FD because she didn't meet his parents), 496 words about Nick and meeting his parents, and 628 words about Shawn and meeting his parents. A little imbalanced - but by no means did she ignore anyone.
JMHO

It is interesting how differently we see things! I see two people who are constantly playing mind games with each other and challenging each other, because of their insecurities and neediness. I think that they bring out the worst in each other and I will forever give up my cynic ways if they make it past this calendar year.

^^ Just a note. I said something similar about Jason and Molly and now they are married and have a kid. So you never know.

chasingpavements wrote:It is interesting how differently we see things! I see two people who are constantly playing mind games with each other and challenging each other, because of their insecurities and neediness. I think that they bring out the worst in each other and I will forever give up my cynic ways if they make it past this calendar year.  

IMO there's nobody who walks the earth today who's perfect; we all have strengths and weaknesses, we all have needs and we all have insecurities - they're just not the same for everybody. The relationships that stand the greatest chance of surviving are ones where our needs turn out to be things that our partner is willing able to give and our insecurities are things our partner is willing and able to make us feel secure about - and vice versa - it's a two way street and we can't see if there's a fit - they are the only ones who can do that.

What I see are two people who are trying to figure out if, how, when and in what ways they can meet each other needs and make each other feel secure - and that is way ahead of what most couples on this show ever get to do let alone show us how they struggle to figure it all out.
JMHO

Lucas15 wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:Talking about him in the blogs is her JOB.

In her latest blog about Episode 9, Kaitlyn wrote 534 words about Ben (all about their FD because she didn't meet his parents), 496 words about Nick and meeting his parents, and 628 words about Shawn and meeting his parents. A little imbalanced - but by no means did she ignore anyone.
JMHO

It's not just how much she talks about them, it's what she talks about. How many of those 496 words were about Nick and NOT his family? She totally left out his declaration of love both before the family meeting and after. Those are things that are the most essential in this "journey" and she chooses to skip over them? That speaks volumes.

iamreal2u wrote:^^ Just a note.  I said something similar about Jason and Molly and now they are married and have a kid.  So you never know.

I don't remember much about them during Jason's season (I was too focused on my girl Jilly to care about Jason's love story), but they do seem to still have issues in their relationship, from what I can see in their podcast. Jason just comes off as a perv and a push-over, and Molly comes off as superficiall, judgmental,and bossy. Of course, no marriage is perfect, but just because you're married doesn't mean your relationship is great, IMO.

mindless wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:Talking about him in the blogs is her JOB.

In her latest blog about Episode 9, Kaitlyn wrote 534 words about Ben (all about their FD because she didn't meet his parents), 496 words about Nick and meeting his parents, and 628 words about Shawn and meeting his parents. A little imbalanced - but by no means did she ignore anyone.
JMHO

It's not just how much she talks about them, it's what she talks about. How many of those 496 words were about Nick and NOT his family? She totally left out his declaration of love both before the family meeting and after. Those are things that are the most essential in this "journey" and she chooses to skip over them? That speaks volumes.

IIRC, she barely mentioned Nick when she talked about their Dublin date or their FS date. And, when he cried after she accused him of telling the guys about the sex, she took that as opportunity to remind people that he had sl*t-shamed Andi. It's very obvious, IMO, that she's trying to rewrite history and protect her insecure fiancé's feelings.

^I think there is more to this story that we haven't heard about just yet....or maybe never will.

Like I've said, I'm sure that something did happen between them post-filming but I do still judge her as her one job after filming is to keep the secret. Instead, she released a pic of her F1 in bed, will barely mention F2 in blogs, and will block anyone who even mentions Shawn in a negative light. Even if Nick did something awful to her, she should suck it up and do her job that she got paid a full year's salary for.