Kaitlyn Bristowe - Shawn Booth - Bachelorette 11 - *Spoilers - Sleuthing* - Discussion

chasingpavements wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:I don't recall Kaitlyn ever telling Shawn to leave if he had a problem with her exploring other options. If she did say that she was just challenging him because we all know she would've been a wreck had he walked. And yeah, this couple bugs. I just don't find them balanced or healthy at all. Kaitlyn questions Shawn about the eskimo bros. comment and his reply? "See, what had happened was." Total red flag but Kaitlyn doesn't even question him on it. She is so afraid to piss this guy off and he is horrible with confrontations and just deflects everything. He turned that entire convo into "Nick's is beneath me and if you choose him you aren't the one for me." 

Yeah, their relationship has SO many red flags i can't even count them anymore. RS said this and I 100% agree: if you are making excuses for your man this early in the relationship, it is not a good sign of what's to come. It would be fine if she did that once with the Eskimo brothers thing, but she continues to do it every single week in her blogs and Periscopes and snap-chat recaps.

And, yeah, for someone so adamant that Nick is manipulative, Shawn should really take a look in the mirror. He threatens to leave, knowing that he likes her too much to actually do it, just so that she's always trying to chase him and make sure he stays. He makes it seem like picking Nick is a sign that there's something wrong with her, not him. When he's questioned about a specific thing he's said, he throws vague attacks on Nick to draw the attention off the real issue. He played the game well, I'll give him that.

chasingpavements wrote:snipped...

Yeah, their relationship has SO many red flags i can't even count them anymore. snipped... I 100% agree: if you are making excuses for your man this early in the relationship, it is not a good sign of what's to come. It would be fine if she did that once with the Eskimo brothers thing, but she continues to do it every single week in her blogs and Periscopes and snap-chat recaps.

And, yeah, for someone so adamant that Nick is manipulative, Shawn should really take a look in the mirror. He threatens to leave, knowing that he likes her too much to actually do it, just so that she's always trying to chase him and make sure he stays. He makes it seem like picking Nick is a sign that there's something wrong with her, not him. When he's questioned about a specific thing he's said, he throws vague attacks on Nick to draw the attention off the real issue. He played the game well, I'll give him that.

GuardianAngel wrote:

chasingpavements wrote:snipped...

Yeah, their relationship has SO many red flags i can't even count them anymore. snipped... I 100% agree: if you are making excuses for your man this early in the relationship, it is not a good sign of what's to come. It would be fine if she did that once with the Eskimo brothers thing, but she continues to do it every single week in her blogs and Periscopes and snap-chat recaps.

And, yeah, for someone so adamant that Nick is manipulative, Shawn should really take a look in the mirror. He threatens to leave, knowing that he likes her too much to actually do it, just so that she's always trying to chase him and make sure he stays. He makes it seem like picking Nick is a sign that there's something wrong with her, not him. When he's questioned about a specific thing he's said, he throws vague attacks on Nick to draw the attention off the real issue. He played the game well, I'll give him that.

This is exactly how I see it as well. IMO Shawn has been the manipulator from day one. The issue with these types of relationships, everything he doesn't like about her, she will try and change about herself to make him happy. That only lasts for so long. He hates Nick, it appears she can't associate anything with Nick, not even in her blogs. What about viewers that want to know how she's feeling with regards to Nick, positive or negative. To me, saying nothing at all, says it all.

stuckinsc wrote:Lucas, did she not tell him he could leave in that convo? That would be the monkey wrench in your interpretation. But, I maybe wrong. S and K annoy me so much I only half listen to them. I am usually typing to my friend how annoying he or she is to me.

Shawn:
I did a lot of thinking last night and I had a real tough time sleeping just thinking about everything you told me. You know I understand that there are other connections and other relationships, and that I know I'd be naive to think that there aren't. I don't understand - why him. You asked me how I felt about him and I told you my honest opinion and you know you told me you thought I was the one and I just don't know why you'd do something like that to jeapardize us.

Kaitlyn:
I think I am here to explore other relationships because at the end of this I will never explore another relationship. It will not happen. Telling you that you were the one halfway through was a mistake. I had no business doing that when I had other relationships to explore. I don't think that's something that's fair to you - or anyone else. If I'm going tell somebody that it's going to be at the end when I'm 150% confident. Like I'm here to explore other relationships and I admitted that it went too far. I didn't sit there and tell you that I did that and I feel good about it. I was telling you - and only you - that it went too far. And I did feel guilty about it. I know what I did - I'm not sitting here feeling ashamed of myself - I'm just wanting to be honest with you.

Shawn:
I appreciate all that - I do.

Kaitlyn:
I love your honesty and I love that you care - so much. But you need to let me figure out things for myself. Do you think that at the end of this that maybe like I won't be someone that you can trust?

Shawn:
Um

Kaitlyn:
You'll have to trust me - and I just don't think you do.

agentcurls wrote:I don't know why she isn't mentioning Nick more in her blogs and SM, etc. maybe it's too painful and raw still. Maybe he had a hard time taking no for an answer. Maybe he said or did something during /post-filming that is bothersome to her. I just don't see Shawn manipulating her. She  isn't exactly a wallflower. And she had the upper hand and all of the power in this situation.

Lucas15 wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:Lucas, did she not tell him he could leave in that convo? That would be the monkey wrench in your interpretation. But, I maybe wrong. S and K annoy me so much I only half listen to them. I am usually typing to my friend how annoying he or she is to me.

That may be one of those things that someone thought they heard, posted it and it grew legs to where a lot of people thought that's what she said. But she never said it. Here's a transcript of the entire conversation (I have it on DVR and transcribed it):

Shawn:
I did a lot of thinking last night and I had a real tough time sleeping just thinking about everything you told me. You know I understand that there are other connections and other relationships, and that I know I'd be naive to think that there aren't. I don't understand - why him. You asked me how I felt about him and I told you my honest opinion and you know you told me you thought I was the one and I just don't know why you'd do something like that to jeapardize us.

Kaitlyn:
I think I am here to explore other relationships because at the end of this I will never explore another relationship. It will not happen. Telling you that you were the one halfway through was a mistake. I had no business doing that when I had other relationships to explore. I don't think that's something that's fair to you - or anyone else. If I'm going tell somebody that it's going to be at the end when I'm 150% confident. Like I'm here to explore other relationships and I admitted that it went too far. I didn't sit there and tell you that I did that and I feel good about it. I was telling you - and only you - that it went too far. And I did feel guilty about it. I know what I did - I'm not sitting here feeling ashamed of myself - I'm just wanting to be honest with you.

Shawn:
I appreciate all that - I do.

Kaitlyn:
I love your honesty and I love that you care - so much. But you need to let me figure out things for myself. Do you think that at the end of this that maybe like I won't be someone that you can trust?

Shawn:
Um

Kaitlyn:
You'll have to trust me - and I just don't think you do.

Lucas15 wrote:

agentcurls wrote:I don't know why she isn't mentioning Nick more in her blogs and SM, etc. maybe it's too painful and raw still. Maybe he had a hard time taking no for an answer. Maybe he said or did something during /post-filming that is bothersome to her. I just don't see Shawn manipulating her. She  isn't exactly a wallflower. And she had the upper hand and all of the power in this situation.

I don't either - yet - or maybe I should say I'm not sure.

One of the very first interviews that she did is posted in the Body Language thread and in that video she was talking about Nick (the preview for the season showed Nick so everyone knew immediately he would be on the show) and as she was talking she made a micro expression - which I pointed out and discussed in that thread. I wasn't totally sure what she was expressing but it was either anger, contempt or disgust because it was easy to rule out all the other emotions and there's only 7 that show up as micro expressions.

At the end of this season I plan to go back to that thread and list a series of things from the show (excluding anything that might or might not happen at the ATFR) that I think could have resulted in that particular micro expression - I've already got several in mind but the show isn't over yet. Perhaps whatever resulted in that emotion is a reason why she is distant from Nick now because she did show something emotionally negative back then.

Kashathediva wrote:Interesting POV, Lucas.
I absolutely took K to mean I am going to do what I need to do for my journey.
I feel K is as honest as she needs to be at the time. When the time comes to be more honest, she'll cross that bridge.

Maggenzm wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:Interesting POV, Lucas.
I absolutely took K to mean I am going to do what I need to do for my journey.
I feel K is as honest as she needs to be at the time. When the time comes to be more honest, she'll cross that bridge.

ITA, she is very honest with him and not afraid to tell it as it is. This is her journey, and if/when she makes mistakes, she owns up to them, I like that about her. It was very interesting watching her tell S about sexgate, she was no longer emotional, she was even prepared for him to leave if he could not handle it.

OnePromise wrote:

Maggenzm wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:Interesting POV, Lucas.
I absolutely took K to mean I am going to do what I need to do for my journey.
I feel K is as honest as she needs to be at the time. When the time comes to be more honest, she'll cross that bridge.

ITA, she is very honest with him and not afraid to tell it as it is. This is her journey, and if/when she makes mistakes, she owns up to them, I like that about her. It was very interesting watching her tell S about sexgate, she was no longer emotional, she was even prepared for him to leave if he could not handle it.

Just to stir the pot, what if she told Shawn because she was trying to give him an "easy way out"? Meaning that if he couldn't handle the truth about her relationship with Nick, she was giving him a cut and dry way to leave.  Then she might know more clearly if he really could handle her type of honest relationship.  The fact that he stayed was an indication to her of how strongly he felt.