Shawn Booth - Bachelorette 11 - *Spoilers - Sleuthing* - Discussion #2

AllAboutLove wrote:^ IA, Stuck. Edit or whatever, he doesn't bring out Kaitlyn's fun, happy self. If anything, he is making her work for him.

I remember seeing an interview where Kaitlyn says '5 years ago I would like the guy who was hard to get but now I like the hopeless romantic'.

Maybe she is falling back to that preference? When it comes down to the two guys she really likes, Shawn is more her 'type' imo

Definitely think Shawn is her "type". Alpha male. Whether he is fun/funny/sarcastic/dry humor etc, is not what interests me what interests me is whether he brings out in Kaitlyn -- her fun self -- because that is her baseline personality.

So often I find I will like someone because they bring out a different side of a person, so in this case the feminine, melting type Kaitlyn. But the problem is that once the honeymoon period wears off, who we are as people is who we are day to day, not who we are when we are blinded by love/lust.

So, in Kaitlyn's case, IMO she needs someone longterm who brings out her fun self more than her other qualities because that is who she is day to day. That's the person you spend your life with.

It's why I think "lover" is important in a marriage/long-term relationship but "friendship" even moreso -- it is what keeps one going when the going gets tough and it always does. It's why I think K's emphasis on the physical part being a deal breaker is emphasizing something that doesn't last as long over the long haul... IMO, it is compatibility, communication, kindness, and a respect for one another that does.

^^ well said AAL  ITA

happydays wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:^ IA, Stuck. Edit or whatever, he doesn't bring out Kaitlyn's fun, happy self. If anything, he is making her work for him.

I remember seeing an interview where Kaitlyn says '5 years ago I would like the guy who was hard to get but now I like the hopeless romantic'.

Maybe she is falling back to that preference? When it comes down to the two guys she really likes, Shawn is more her 'type' imo

Sometimes it is hard to go against type. I know several of my single friends who know that their "type" is bad for them, but still keep trying every time...even when their friends wave the red flag. Under these trying circumstances, when tptb are messing with her head and her emotions, I think it would be easiest to fall back into old patterns.

Sprite wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:^ IA, Stuck. Edit or whatever, he doesn't bring out Kaitlyn's fun, happy self. If anything, he is making her work for him.

To me Shawn always looks p*ssed off...and not just on the show, but also in the pictures of him before the show. He may be a barrel of laughs in real life, but to me he does not look like a fun guy. Kaitlyn is a fun girl and I think needs someone who brings that out in her and shares that wackyness. It kind of reminds me of the last Bette season when one of Nick's sisters asked him if Andi made him laugh and he said she made him smile. Big clue.

Have we had anyone on here who knows Shawn IRL like we have with some other contestants? Or have we heard any of his friends on SM comment on what he is normally like? I am curious. Maybe he is just self conscious about his teeth and doesn't smile or thinks that women like that brooding look.

We have seen pics of his teeth...like 1st night when he was ecstatic that Kait was the Bette and his teeth are fine. Not all of us smile all the time.

IrishGal wrote:

Sprite wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:^ IA, Stuck. Edit or whatever, he doesn't bring out Kaitlyn's fun, happy self. If anything, he is making her work for him.

To me Shawn always looks p*ssed off...and not just on the show, but also in the pictures of him before the show. He may be a barrel of laughs in real life, but to me he does not look like a fun guy. Kaitlyn is a fun girl and I think needs someone who brings that out in her and shares that wackyness. It kind of reminds me of the last Bette season when one of Nick's sisters asked him if Andi made him laugh and he said she made him smile. Big clue.

Have we had anyone on here who knows Shawn IRL like we have with some other contestants? Or have we heard any of his friends on SM comment on what he is normally like? I am curious. Maybe he is just self conscious about his teeth and doesn't smile or thinks that women like that brooding look.

We have seen pics of his teeth...like 1st night when he was ecstatic that Kait was the Bette and his teeth are fine. Not all of us smile all the time.  

I don't need to him to smile or laugh all the time, but I haven't seen it once and since I watched all episodes back to back to back today, I would actually remember. It was something that stuck out to me. Kaitlyn is a girl who loves to laugh, so even more smiles would be good. On their really cool 1:1, I lived in Austin for 12 years, and I would have loved to have the chance to do that, compare to Ben H. It's not like he is a joke a minute, but on his 1:1 he smiled a lot and laughed. Not that with Shawn. I think unfortunately, the inner part of Kaitlyn maybe holding her back and may have drawn her to Nick, because he laughs and gets the laughing fun part of her.

I know plenty of you adore him. I am used to be in the not big crowd, I liked Nikki for JPG, Nick for Andi, Becca for Chris, and I actually do like Shawn for Kaitlyn, since she wants him. But his lack of humor would not sustain me for a whole bachelor season. The process is so utterly ridiculous, that if the lead can't laugh, I would have to cry.

There was actually a cute conversation about the pic his nephew drew in ep 1. That was great to see between the two and they were smiling and laughing but ever since then it's been so serious!! But, as we've heard from contestants before, edit probably only shows 5% of what actually happens -- they might still have fun interactions but they aren't showing it since they are trying to make it a close race between Nick & Shawn and well , since K pretty much spoiled her own ending.

Found the link of their first ep interactions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzR1AXlSVE8

JMHO, not concerned with how many times Shawn smiles or we see his teeth but whether Shawn enhances Kaitlyn's fun self more than just bringing out her vulnerable/insecure side since her fun self is who she is day to day. TWT

I guess for me a healthy dynamic relationship is like makeup: it should enhance who you are not make you look like a different person.

AllAboutLove wrote:JMHO, not concerned with how many times Shawn smiles or we see his teeth but whether Shawn enhances Kaitlyn's fun self more than just bringing out her vulnerable/insecure side since her fun self is who she is day to day. TWT

I guess for me a healthy dynamic relationship is like makeup: it should enhance who you are not make you look like a different person.

IMO I would "tweek" that thought a little bit. I think the relationship that's going to work for Kaitlyn is the one in which she likes who she is / becomes when in that relationship more than she likes who she is if not in it. I don't know her well enough to know if that fun self is who she wants to be - only she can determine who she wants to be and who allow her to be that person.

Relationships change people; they are a give and take and the ones that are healthiest are the ones where each person willingly gives to the other because what they each get in return is more important to them than what they have to give to get it. The dynamic between Kaitlyn and Shawn is like watching a negotiation between them. If I take Kaitlyn at her words, Shawn is someone who attracts her in a way and to an extent that perhaps no one she has ever met before has. He seems to be expressing to her a willingness to give her all of what she wants but he has some wants too - he wants her to not just talk the talk but walk the walk. Only Kaitlyn can determine if that's something she is able to or willing to give and her problem is she is the lead in a Reality TV show and isn't able to do things she might have been able to do had they met IRL.

AllAboutLove wrote:JMHO, not concerned with how many times Shawn smiles or we see his teeth but whether Shawn enhances Kaitlyn's fun self more than just bringing out her vulnerable/insecure side since her fun self is who she is day to day. TWT

I guess for me a healthy dynamic relationship is like makeup: it should enhance who you are not make you look like a different person.

Agreed. Yes, people can "change" in relationships, but a lot of time, it isn't for the better, IMO.

Sprite wrote:snipped..

To me Shawn always looks p*ssed off...and not just on the show, but also in the pictures of him before the show. He may be a barrel of laughs in real life, but to me he does not look like a fun guy. Kaitlyn is a fun girl and I think needs someone who brings that out in her and shares that wackyness. It kind of reminds me of the last Bette season when one of Nick's sisters asked him if Andi made him laugh and he said she made him smile. Big clue.

Have we had anyone on here who knows Shawn IRL like we have with some other contestants? Or have we heard any of his friends on SM comment on what he is normally like? I am curious. Maybe he is just self conscious about his teeth and doesn't smile or thinks that women like that brooding look.

Not that I know of. I've been patiently waiting but so far nothing.

Don't be shy. A quick PM kept in confidence is always appreciated and you get to call the shots.

A lady posted that she met Shawn recently, that he's very nice and she hopes he wins. It was last week, right around snapchat time.

Anyway, I don't see all these things people see about him- manipulative, hurtful to Kaitlyn, etc. She seems nothing but happy with him to me other than when they're talking about Nick, which yeah, it's a weird situation and why would they be happy discussing him?