The Bachelorette 11 - Kaitlyn Bristowe - Epi 4 Jun 8th - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

whit90 wrote:snipped
So after he finished his stint on Andi's season he went back to work and lived his normal life. He never once tried to profit off his time on the show and wished others the best never saying a cruel thing.  He did the round of interviews he had to do then faded away. He lived his life in Chigago and stayed away from the limelight.  Sorry but I do not see how he is one of the ones that is seeking attention. JMO

I don't either whit. I would like to know exactly what it is that he did for attention. That season was long gone. He did nothing to keep himself in the limelight. He acted like a gentleman through out the whole ordeal and never responded to negative tweets.

He should be old news by now. He just so happened to crush on a contestant from a previous season. He's going for it knowing the heat that it would cause. However it doesn't matter, because he pays no attention to the negativity, he doesn't defend himself and he doesn't expect a thing from anyone. JMHO

And even though he is reported to have sex with a couple past cast, I have never yet publicly spied his unmentionables hanging in his kitchen.

remockered wrote: What I find interesting, and a tad alarming, is the hatred spewed toward any person who has been " characterized" by a reality show.  Unless someone has real life experience with anyone on a reality show, I do not believe they really know that person.  

The bolded can be applied to Tanner who made a case against Nick, before ever meeting him, and letting the other guys know how terrible and annoying Nick was and not a nice guy, etc.

However, based on his post-show interactions with Nick, there's evidence of Tanner being friends with Nick after getting to know him in person.

It only goes to show that no matter how much Tanner *knew* about Nick from the show/media/etc, it was only when he met Nick in person that he got to know the real Nick and liked him.

Nick can't be that bad if Tanner went from disliking him before meeting him to joking around with Nick on twitter. jmo

I think anyone who does this show twice probably likes the attention they get from it. But when that person tweets about the show, posts on his IG about the show, reaches out to/hooks up with former contestants and spends that much energy relishing in his Bachelor Nation membership, that's not moving on. Someone who has no interest after being railroaded the first time does a 'no thanks,' that IMO is moving on.

bleuberry wrote:I think anyone who does this show twice probably likes the attention they get from it. But when that person tweets about the show, posts on his IG about the show, reaches out to/hooks up with former contestants and spends that much energy relishing in his Bachelor Nation membership, that's not moving on. Someone who has no interest after being railroaded the first time does a 'no thanks,' that IMO is moving on.

I agree that Nick did not move on, but I think that's true for the majority of contestants. People like Chantal and Chris Lambton are the rarity. Most recycled leads have been completely screwed over (Kaitlyn sleeping with Chris and getting dumped the next day, Jason and Ben being told to propose because they were going to win, etc) and they still happily sign the contract to let TPTB do it to them again in exchange for a paycheck and fame. Then, there's people like Michelle Money and Wes Hayden who got horrible edits but still sign on to the summer shows. It takes a very self-absorbed person to do this show in the first place, and I don't think that Nick is any better or worse than the rest of them.

I honestly can't see Nick liking all the negative attention he gets and decides he wants more of it by going on a 2nd season for more attention.

He is one contestant that has met up with the least number of past contestants. There aren't that many pics of him with formers.

I feel that as a group, we as viewers are a bunch of hypocrites.  We ask for something real...like as in a real-ity show.  We want the lead and the guys to be themselves, to be real, to be genuine, to be sincere.  And when we get what we want...we crucify them!

All this talk about the fact that Kaitlyn doesn't know what she wants....IMO, neither do the viewers.  We say we want honesty, but what we really want is a group of people to live out a fairytale.  A fairytale.  An imaginary, made up story to make us feel better about our lives.  That is what we as viewers want.  We ask for one thing and then when we get it....we pick it apart, call it revolting, call it shameful, call it fake, call it staged and tear down the very thing we were asking for...something real.  

IMO, this is why Nick (and at this point Kaitlyn) are so polarizing.  As a viewership we fall into two categories:

1.) Those that want the brutal truth, no matter what that costs.

People who want the brutal truth, value the facts of truth more so than the feelings and emotions of those involved.  They include parts of the truth that may seem hurtful in order to disclose the whole truth.

Nick and Kaitlyn fall into this category.  

Nick chose to share intimate details about his relationship with Andi last season, not to shame her, but to get to the brutal truth in order to understand the end of his relationship with her.  He wanted to talk about the truth, tried a variety of other ways and when that was to no avail, he talked to her on national television, with all of America watching.  He didn't care who else was watching because the truth of the situation was paramount to him.  Brutally paramount.  Nick said what he said because he did not feel Andi was being honest with him and he wanted the brutal truth out there.  It was not that Andi's feelings did not matter, it was that the truth mattered more.  Was it ill-timed and selfish, sure.  And that are the reasons that Nick feels bad about what he said and apologized for "the timing" of it.  I am sure he would have rather had that conversation with just her away from the whole US of A, but the producers need a show!

Cut to Kaitlyn.  She also values the brutal truth.  Truth about relationship.  Truth about love.  Truth about sex.  She shares what she really thinks with the guys and with the viewers.  Hence her many colorful responses to "hating" fans.  She was honest with the guys and the viewers about wanting to keep Nick on the show and the sex because truth is important to her.  Honesty is important to her.  Brutally important to her.  It was not that the guys didn't matter to her, it was that the truth mattered more.  Was it ill-timed and selfish, sure.  And that are the reasons that Kaitlyn feels bad about what she did/said and expressed guilt about "the timing" of it.  Not the acts of bringing Nick back on the show or having sex 10 days prior to the FS dates.  She felt bad about the timing of her decisions.  

Which brings me to the second type of viewer:

2.) Those that want the respectful truth, no matter what that costs.

People who want the respectful truth value the emotions and feelings of those involved more so than the facts of truth.  They often leave out the hurtful parts of the truth to spare others feelings.

Andi is a great example of this.  She chose not to fully express her feelings (or lack thereof) to Nick on that final day because she thought that she was sparing him additional hurt.  In her mind the brutal truth would have been hurtful to him.  I really think that she did not want to hurt him, but what she did not understand was that Nick wanted the brutal truth, not the respectful truth.  She did not have him pick out a ring and sent him home in the morning instead of having him show up to the FRC because she cared about him.  She even said that.  But what Nick heard was, I don't care about you enough to tell you the brutal truth about our relationship, how I feel and why it ended.  To him it did not feel genuine because she was not telling him "all" of the truth, the negative parts of the truth.  

IMO, the viewers asked for truth.  The question we should be asking ourselves is what kind of truth? Are we the kind of people that want the brutal truth, sparing no ones feelings and laying everything on the line.  Or are we the kind of people that want the respectful truth, holding some things back for the sake of protecting people's feelings and emotions.

Do we really want to know the whole story?  Do we really want reality TV?  Do we really want to know how Kaitlyn feels? How her guys feel?  Do we really want to know what happens in the FS? Or behind the scenes?  And if we do, what version do we want? Brutal truth or respectful truth.  Because in my opinion, that distinction makes a whole world of difference.  It will shape how we watch the show and how we feel about the main characters.  

As viewers, I do not think that we will agree on what we want.  We seem to be a very dichotomous group rich in opinion and holding firm in conviction.  One thing is for sure, Nick and Kaitlyn have brought our hypocrisy to light like no other contestants in the past.  

Personally, I love Nick and Kaitlyn as I am most certainly a brutal truth person.  I find that when one shares the brutal truth there is so much more depth that can be explored in a relationship.  But that only holds true if the person in the relationship with you shares the same opinion as you.  Otherwise, you are just risking hurting the other person with the brutality of your truth.  For Nick and Kaitlyn, because they are both brutal truth people, I see it working out perfectly between them in this way.  The view they share about honesty and truth will only lead them to a deeper and more meaningful reality.

One Promise, Bravo! You nailed it!

I couldn't care less about the honesty of the cast--as it's all edited crap. 
All I care about is whether or not it entertains me.

Kashathediva wrote:I couldn't care less about the honesty of the cast--as it's all edited crap. 
All I care about is whether or not it entertains me.

Well Kasha, I think that you would fall into the brutal honesty category.


And it's good for you that this season is one of the most entertaining.

OnePromise I love brutal truth

 OP, ITA with everything that you said.