Episode 9 - 7/25 Fantasy dates - Discussion - Spoilers

If he went in confident that he was the one, I imagine there was a lot of ego involved. I don't want to see the crapstorm that's already brewing because of the two proposals. I wish people would get over it before it starts.

sjcaligurl wrote:If he went in confident that he was the one, I imagine there was a lot of ego involved. I don't want to see the crapstorm that's already brewing because of the two proposals. I wish people would get over it before it starts.

IA with this. I've been hesitant to say it, because I don't want to start a "crapstorm" here, but I see some parallels between Ben's reaction and the way the guys reacted to the Bentley news, in that it hurt their egos, and their initial reaction was to get upset with Ashley. Not saying that Ben didn't love Ashley, or at least truly think he did, but I really wonder how deep and fully developed that love was, because he certainly wasn't at the point where her feelings had become as or more important than his own in that moment.

And just like I felt with the guys getting angry about the Bentley stuff, Ben is more than entitled to react that way, but I also think it's further evidence that Ashley picked the right guy, the one who truly was "madly in love with her".

ironcat wrote:

sjcaligurl wrote:If he went in confident that he was the one, I imagine there was a lot of ego involved. I don't want to see the crapstorm that's already brewing because of the two proposals. I wish people would get over it before it starts.

IA with this. I've been hesitant to say it, because I don't want to start a "crapstorm" here, but I see some parallels between Ben's reaction and the way the guys reacted to the Bentley news, in that it hurt their egos, and their initial reaction was to get upset at Ashley. Not saying that Ben didn't love Ashley, or truly think he did, but I really wonder how deep and fully developed that love was, because he certainly wasn't at the point where her feelings had become as or more important than his own in that moment.

And just like I felt with the guys getting angry about the Bentley stuff, Ben is more than entitled to react that way, but I also think it's further evidence that Ashley picked the right guy, the one who truly was "madly in love with her".

Maybe Ben felt so confident going into the FRC because Chrystie let it slip to him they weren't happy with JP and really liked Ben?

ironcat wrote:

sjcaligurl wrote:If he went in confident that he was the one, I imagine there was a lot of ego involved. I don't want to see the crapstorm that's already brewing because of the two proposals. I wish people would get over it before it starts.

IA with this. I've been hesitant to say it, because I don't want to start a "crapstorm" here, but I see some parallels between Ben's reaction and the way the guys reacted to the Bentley news, in that it hurt their egos, and their initial reaction was to get upset at Ashley. Not saying that Ben didn't love Ashley, or truly think he did, but I really wonder how deep and fully developed that love was, because he certainly wasn't at the point where her feelings had become as or more important than his own in that moment.

And just like I felt with the guys getting angry about the Bentley stuff, Ben is more than entitled to react that way, but I also think it's further evidence that Ashley picked the right guy, the one who truly was "madly in love with her".

Well, it doesn't seem that his issue is that he proposed. That bothered Jason. People who have no clue how things work are/will be upset. I think he may see it as a giant step forward in personal growth. I hope he stops believing that nothing good ends well. That's not a good mantra. I'm not sure I buy the Britt rumors but people are still tweeting Shawntel about Ben and she isn't disagreeing with anyone. LOL!

chicagoowl wrote:Ok..my favorite moment of JP and Ashley's FD was when JP said, "I don't want to win... I just want YOU." (as he points his finger towards Ashley). So hot.

this just clicked for me, remember the thai guy who said "love isn't about winning" it all makes sense now!

JP told her that he didn't want to "beat him" (funny they didn't say his name). I thought the old man was talking about winning in arguments with the wife. But, it did apply to the battle for her heart. Funny that Constantine was the one with her on that date and he stayed in the game knowing he wasn't feeling much for her.

ironcat wrote:

sjcaligurl wrote:If he went in confident that he was the one, I imagine there was a lot of ego involved. I don't want to see the crapstorm that's already brewing because of the two proposals. I wish people would get over it before it starts.

IA with this. I've been hesitant to say it, because I don't want to start a "crapstorm" here, but I see some parallels between Ben's reaction and the way the guys reacted to the Bentley news, in that it hurt their egos, and their initial reaction was to get upset with Ashley. Not saying that Ben didn't love Ashley, or at least truly think he did, but I really wonder how deep and fully developed that love was, because he certainly wasn't at the point where her feelings had become as or more important than his own in that moment.

And just like I felt with the guys getting angry about the Bentley stuff, Ben is more than entitled to react that way, but I also think it's further evidence that Ashley picked the right guy, the one who truly was "madly in love with her".

Perfect... I think that if JP had been F2, had to propose, and gotten rejected, his first reaction would've been, I hope he makes you as happy as you have made me so far... We've seen countless examples of JP putting his reactions and feelings aside to make Ash feel heard and understood and protected, so I doubt he would've ruined that day for her. Not saying that it wouldn't've been bad for Ash to let him go , but that JP wouldn't've been curt with her to make it worse... However, I guess that comes back to the emotional maturity that Ben still needs to cultivate - not only is he young for his age, but the loss of his father probably set him back further... I know the right girl for him is out there waiting to come into his life at a time when he is ready for it - truly ready, not camera-VO ready

ninu wrote:

ironcat wrote:

sjcaligurl wrote:If he went in confident that he was the one, I imagine there was a lot of ego involved. I don't want to see the crapstorm that's already brewing because of the two proposals. I wish people would get over it before it starts.

IA with this. I've been hesitant to say it, because I don't want to start a "crapstorm" here, but I see some parallels between Ben's reaction and the way the guys reacted to the Bentley news, in that it hurt their egos, and their initial reaction was to get upset with Ashley. Not saying that Ben didn't love Ashley, or at least truly think he did, but I really wonder how deep and fully developed that love was, because he certainly wasn't at the point where her feelings had become as or more important than his own in that moment.

And just like I felt with the guys getting angry about the Bentley stuff, Ben is more than entitled to react that way, but I also think it's further evidence that Ashley picked the right guy, the one who truly was "madly in love with her".

Perfect... I think that if JP had been F2, had to propose, and gotten rejected, his first reaction would've been, I hope he makes you as happy as you have made me so far... We've seen countless examples of JP putting his reactions and feelings aside to make Ash feel heard and understood and protected, so I doubt he would've ruined that day for her. Not saying that it wouldn't've been bad for Ash to let him go , but that JP wouldn't've been curt with her to make it worse... However, I guess that comes back to the emotional maturity that Ben still needs to cultivate - not only is he young for his age, but the loss of his father probably set him back further... I know the right girl for him is out there waiting to come into his life at a time when he is ready for it - truly ready, not camera-VO ready

Remind me where he did that, because I don't recall seeing him do that. I saw a guy put himself first. "When will I get another date", "I can't stand to see you with the other guys", "I can't stand to hear the other guys talk about their date". Sounds like a it's about me, that's just my opinion. So I highly doubt he wouldn't be upset if she let him get down on his knees to reject him.

pbmax wrote:

ninu wrote:

ironcat wrote:

sjcaligurl wrote:If he went in confident that he was the one, I imagine there was a lot of ego involved. I don't want to see the crapstorm that's already brewing because of the two proposals. I wish people would get over it before it starts.

IA with this. I've been hesitant to say it, because I don't want to start a "crapstorm" here, but I see some parallels between Ben's reaction and the way the guys reacted to the Bentley news, in that it hurt their egos, and their initial reaction was to get upset with Ashley. Not saying that Ben didn't love Ashley, or at least truly think he did, but I really wonder how deep and fully developed that love was, because he certainly wasn't at the point where her feelings had become as or more important than his own in that moment.

And just like I felt with the guys getting angry about the Bentley stuff, Ben is more than entitled to react that way, but I also think it's further evidence that Ashley picked the right guy, the one who truly was "madly in love with her".

Perfect... I think that if JP had been F2, had to propose, and gotten rejected, his first reaction would've been, I hope he makes you as happy as you have made me so far... We've seen countless examples of JP putting his reactions and feelings aside to make Ash feel heard and understood and protected, so I doubt he would've ruined that day for her. Not saying that it wouldn't've been bad for Ash to let him go , but that JP wouldn't've been curt with her to make it worse... However, I guess that comes back to the emotional maturity that Ben still needs to cultivate - not only is he young for his age, but the loss of his father probably set him back further... I know the right girl for him is out there waiting to come into his life at a time when he is ready for it - truly ready, not camera-VO ready

Remind me where he did that, because I don't recall seeing him do that. I saw a guy put himself first. "When will I get another date", "I can't stand to see you with the other guys", "I can't stand to hear the other guys talk about their date". Sounds like a it's about me, that's just my opinion. So I highly doubt he wouldn't be upset if she let him get down on his knees to reject him.

The first thing JP did when he had his first 1 on 1 with Ashley was make sure she was doing okay in light of the Bentley situation, even though it was the first time he actually got to spend any extended time with her. When she told him about Bentley returning in HK, rather than get upset and make her cry like several of the other guys did, he listened to her, thanked her for telling him and made her feel so confident she had handled things correctly that she mistakenly thought she could expect the same mature caring behavior from the rest of the guys. And later, when those other guys were posturing and complaining about how poorly she had treated them, he stood up to them and defended her. Need more or am I wasting my breath expecting you to reevaluate your already entrenched opinions?

PB--True JP did make those statements but I saw it as wanting to remind Ashley he was in it for her. Frankly, I think Ashley needed that reassurance. Let's be honest, after Brad, the roast where Willie boy showed his ass and BNB, she had insecurities-- probably even before. I agree with Ninu, he thought about Ashley's feelings.

ironcat wrote:

pbmax wrote:

ninu wrote:

ironcat wrote:

sjcaligurl wrote:If he went in confident that he was the one, I imagine there was a lot of ego involved. I don't want to see the crapstorm that's already brewing because of the two proposals. I wish people would get over it before it starts.

IA with this. I've been hesitant to say it, because I don't want to start a "crapstorm" here, but I see some parallels between Ben's reaction and the way the guys reacted to the Bentley news, in that it hurt their egos, and their initial reaction was to get upset with Ashley. Not saying that Ben didn't love Ashley, or at least truly think he did, but I really wonder how deep and fully developed that love was, because he certainly wasn't at the point where her feelings had become as or more important than his own in that moment.

And just like I felt with the guys getting angry about the Bentley stuff, Ben is more than entitled to react that way, but I also think it's further evidence that Ashley picked the right guy, the one who truly was "madly in love with her".

Perfect... I think that if JP had been F2, had to propose, and gotten rejected, his first reaction would've been, I hope he makes you as happy as you have made me so far... We've seen countless examples of JP putting his reactions and feelings aside to make Ash feel heard and understood and protected, so I doubt he would've ruined that day for her. Not saying that it wouldn't've been bad for Ash to let him go , but that JP wouldn't've been curt with her to make it worse... However, I guess that comes back to the emotional maturity that Ben still needs to cultivate - not only is he young for his age, but the loss of his father probably set him back further... I know the right girl for him is out there waiting to come into his life at a time when he is ready for it - truly ready, not camera-VO ready

Remind me where he did that, because I don't recall seeing him do that. I saw a guy put himself first. "When will I get another date", "I can't stand to see you with the other guys", "I can't stand to hear the other guys talk about their date". Sounds like a it's about me, that's just my opinion. So I highly doubt he wouldn't be upset if she let him get down on his knees to reject him.

The first thing JP did when he had his first 1 on 1 with Ashley was make sure she was doing okay in light of the Bentley situation, even though it was the first time he actually got to spend any extended time with her. When she told him about Bentley returning in HK, rather than get upset and make her cry like several of the other guys did, he listened to her, thanked her for telling him and made her feel so confident she had handled things correctly that she mistakenly thought she could expect the same mature caring behavior from the rest of the guys. And later, when those other guys were posturing and complaining about how poorly she had treated them, he stood up to them and defended her. Need more or am I wasting my breath expecting you to reevaluate your already entrenched opinions?

Right you are wasting your breath, just as others and myself waste our breath, I mean that in the nicest way. I didn't see where he made sure she was okay, he had a date with her and of course he will say the correct things if he wanted to stick around. Her telling him about Bentley in HK, the way I saw he wasn't that thrilled, sure he played as if it was okay, but I looked in his eyes and saw differently and noticed he didn't give her those open mouth kisses that he had been giving. Those guys had every right to be upset (1) the way she told it to them (2) she was wasting their time, pining over someone who chose to leave 3 cities ago. jmo

pbmax wrote:.

Right you are wasting your breath, just as others and myself waste our breath, I mean that in the nicest way. I didn't see where he made sure she was okay, he had a date with her and of course he will say the correct things if he wanted to stick around. Her telling him about Bentley in HK, the way I saw he wasn't that thrilled, sure he played as if it was okay, but I looked in his eyes and saw differently and noticed he didn't give her those open mouth kisses that he had been giving. Those guys had every right to be upset (1) the way she told it to them (2) she was wasting their time, pining over someone who chose to leave 3 cities ago. jmo

JMO but what we saw or how we interpreted the edits doesn't matter now. In the end, Ashley chose JP and so far they seem happy. Time will tell if their relationship will continue to be successful. It seems like all parties involved (including the guys) have moved on to bigger and better things. :shimmie: