Married At First Sight - Season 2 - Sean Varricchio - Davina Kullar - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #2

mindless wrote:They didn't go against her deal-breakers. She said she wouldn't leave Manhattan (actually UES, not sure if she told them that) and Sean said he could move. Now he's having a harder time with the move than expected. It is what it is. Everyone would be better off if she tried to make it easier for him rather than giving him a hard time and blaming him for being dishonest etc. That doesn't solve anything. He IS trying. She should give him some credit and support. She herself moved a block, to an apartment she would've had to move to anyway, since she'd sold her old place. She doesn't have to commute or consider changing jobs or anything. Her life is the same with Sean added, yet all she can think about is how he's not meeting her needs.

I thikn we give Davina a lot of blame here, but IMO, she didn't know how many issues Sean was working with, actually she didn't know her match would have issues to begin with, and that a move to Manhattan was going to be next to impossible. For Sean it is very hard to pack up and leave. And that "I will sleep in NJ whenever I have to work" will end this marriage, just like it made things harder for Vaughn and Monet.

I don't think Davina is to blame here. She told everyone from day 1 she was staying in Manhattan. The experts thought Sean was going to be able to move someplece else (because Sean stated it), and now it turns out Sean can't handle that pressure. Is not Seans fault entirely, the experts should have seen this coming unless they only see the participants once and go entirely based on their questionnaire.

Ruqibabe wrote:

Very True... I think that's why Dr C didn't sound happy with her in his write up in the baby community blog. .

Where is this baby community blog everyone is talking about?

IMO Davina IS to blame. Her 'deal breaker' (which pisses me off I you are talking about participating in a relationship experiment. If you have deal breakers then this is it for you)...buy her deal breaker said she didn't want to leave Manhattan...not 'i can't live below 79th street or some nonsense like that'. I don't blame Sean at all. Yes he said he would be willing to move. I told my husband is be willing to get a dog when we got married. Guess what? No dog for us because WE BOTH realized what a big commitment it was on BOTH our parts.
And this BS about Sean's 'issues'...IMO Davina has 'issues' too. And it's not being sophisticated. It's being unrealistic in her relationship expectations. They could have stayed in Manhattan but moved closer to the Turnpike or the Tunnel. SHE could have agreed to spend weekends in Jersey. Cut the crap. She wants to be courted but doesn't feel like it should be reciprocated? Get off my screen Davina...oh wait that's right...i quit watching cuz she's just too prissy.

Regal_GG wrote:

Ruqibabe wrote:

Very True... I think that's why Dr C didn't sound happy with her in his write up in the baby community blog. .

Where is this baby community blog everyone is talking about?

Go to Page90 for Dr C's comment. You probably need to go to the earlier pages to read his respond to some questions.

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a55825153/married_at_first_sight_season_two?cpg=111

^^ I totally agree with Thomigirl and mindless. She is mostly to blame. Ryan R and Jac also had distance as deal breakers but they CHOSE to make their marriage work. Was the deal-breaker also show no compassion during the move?

She was also complaining abt intimacy, is there a written law that only the guy can show or initiate intimacy? Recall that Ryan R was pulling away from Jac and Jac was moving towards him. He was even honest with her that the move was causing anxiety that was blocking his tendency to get intimate. She really could have helped him. IMO, she was stuck with the whole Manhattan move that she didn't consider/see past her feeling. Her expectations were ridiculously high. Marriage is absolutely not fairy tale, it take hard work.

My deal-breaker was heavier/bigger guys, I wanted the skinny sexy guy as in the mills & booms. But life dealt me a big guy who I am happily married to. Compromise is the key.

Ruqibabe wrote:^^ I totally agree with Thomigirl and mindless. She is mostly to blame. Ryan R and Jac also had distance as deal breakers but they CHOSE to make their marriage work. Was the deal-breaker also show no compassion during the move?

She was also complaining abt intimacy, is there a written law that only the guy can show or initiate intimacy? Recall that Ryan R was pulling away from Jac and Jac was moving towards him. He was even honest with her that the move was causing anxiety that was blocking his tendency to get intimate. She really could have helped him. IMO, she was stuck with the whole Manhattan move that she didn't consider/see past her feeling. Her expectations were ridiculously high. Marriage is absolutely not fairy tale, it take hard work.

My deal-breaker was heavier/bigger guys, I wanted the skinny sexy guy as in the mills & booms. But life dealt me a big guy who I am happily married to. Compromise is the key.

And a comprimise can be reached when the two people in the relationship are mature enough to realize this. Davina, though mature, has some issues and Sean really should not be looking for a wife with all the stuff he's carrying. Same for Ryan D with his anger issues and Jessica being passive-aggresive. Jaclyn and Ryan R so far seem mature enough to come to compromises, at least for the 6 week period this is taking place. The other couple, more so Sean and Davina seem to think that whatever decision they come to is forever and permanent, they are not being mature about this at all, not to mention some of them have issued they shuold have worked out before even thinking about finding a partner, let alone go on a tv show and get married to a stranger.

theguydownunder wrote:

Ruqibabe wrote:^^ I totally agree with Thomigirl and mindless. She is mostly to blame. Ryan R and Jac also had distance as deal breakers but they CHOSE to make their marriage work. Was the deal-breaker also show no compassion during the move?

She was also complaining abt intimacy, is there a written law that only the guy can show or initiate intimacy? Recall that Ryan R was pulling away from Jac and Jac was moving towards him. He was even honest with her that the move was causing anxiety that was blocking his tendency to get intimate. She really could have helped him. IMO, she was stuck with the whole Manhattan move that she didn't consider/see past her feeling. Her expectations were ridiculously high. Marriage is absolutely not fairy tale, it take hard work.

My deal-breaker was heavier/bigger guys, I wanted the skinny sexy guy as in the mills & booms. But life dealt me a big guy who I am happily married to. Compromise is the key.

And a comprimise can be reached when the two people in the relationship are mature enough to realize this. Davina, though mature, has some issues and Sean really should not be looking for a wife with all the stuff he's carrying. Same for Ryan D with his anger issues and Jessica being passive-aggresive. Jaclyn and Ryan R so far seem mature enough to come to compromises, at least for the 6 week period this is taking place. The other couple, more so Sean and Davina seem to think that whatever decision they come to is forever and permanent, they are not being mature about this at all, not to mention some of them have issued they shuold have worked out before even thinking about finding a partner, let alone go on a tv show and get married to a stranger.

I would go out on a limb and say that there's no way any marriage can succeed without compromise on both ends...but I believe that some deal breakers are legit and they need to be put on the table. For me it was kids....my husband wasn't sure he really wanted any and I was positive I did. As it turns out...no babies for us....he compromised and was OK with having them but the powers up above decided that we weren't supposed to be parents. So now we're just the favorite auntie & uncle to our nieces/nephews. And somehow that's worked out too.

Hello Everyone! Have followed both MAFS seasons closely and discovered this wonderful board a couple of weeks ago.

OK--my thoughts on D and S. And keep in mind that I've been a nearly lifelong resident of New Jersey and the NY Metro area

1. Davinia is a typical Upper East Side, high-maintenance Manhattan girl. This is not a bash against her personality; I actually understand where she's coming from.  And she's pretty typical of the NY'ers I have encountered MANY TIMES in my life.  NYC is The World. Anything west of the Hudson River is backwater country. These people sniff at the "bridge and tunnel crowd" as if we are below them or something.

I cannot tell you how many times guys from Manhattan (as well as Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Westchester) would NOT date me because I lived in NJ. And ironically, the section of NJ where I grew up was right over the George Washington bridge. I could drive into Midtown Manhattan in less than a 1/2 hour.  The Bronx was 20 minutes away. I lived closer to Manhattan than a lot of people in the boroughs did.  But, for whatever reason, the thought of  "OMG I HAVE TO CROSS A BRIDGE TO GO OUT WITH YOU !!!!!!!! would designate me as a "Geographic Undesireable." Stupid, closeminded attitude but there you have it.

Point being, Davinia is your typical Manhattanite and you can see these types coming from a mile away.

Now, on to Sean.  Sean lives in Jackson, NJ which is NOT an easy commute to NYC, even on a good day. It's not very far from where I currently live.  Jackson has no commuter trains and few buses. It's very much an outlying southwestern suburb.  People live there because they don't have to or want to commute into NYC. So i can totally understand why Sean would be completely overwhelmed by the commute to Manhattan; it probably about a 2 hour drive each way.  If you are familiar with NYC area commuting (and since the experts are from the area they should be familiar with the trials and tribulations of commuting into Manhattan) they should have seen this coming as well.

My point: D & S were a poor match. On the NYE show, it was sooo obvious that Sean was out of his element and Davinia was completely in hers.  Davinia needs a fellow sophisticated Manhattan guy, w/money, who loves the NYC lifestyle as much as she does.  Sean...well, judging by the posts here--he Has Issues. But, he should stick to Jersey or Philly gals.

If I could see this coming from Episode 2, why couldn't the experts???

RoxyDoxy wrote:
If I could see this coming from Episode 2, why couldn't the experts???

I think because the experts are just cast members in the show, the real show makers are producers and they want good tv because that gets ratings. The experts I'm sure are consulted, but as far as having any sort of control over the show? I highly doubt that. That is why if this was an academic experiment then we would be having these results in a medical joural, not on a reality tv show. Let's not forget this is entertainment, purely and solely. Remember the words at the opening of the show "... daring social experiment", not academic, not study, nothing that indicates any sort of ethics or scientific backing, this is a daring, social, experiment.

There is NO WAY the Bronx is 20 minutes from NJ. Maybe flying down the highway...or at 2 in the AM.

Thomigirl wrote:There is NO WAY the Bronx is 20 minutes from NJ. Maybe flying down the highway...or at 2 in the AM.

Agreed. 
My daughter lived in Riverdale, Bronx for years and I am in NNJ--40 minutes without traffic. That's either going GWB or TZ.

Ruqibabe wrote:


Go to Page90 for Dr C's comment. You probably need to go to the earlier pages to read his respond to some questions.

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a55825153/married_at_first_sight_season_two?cpg=111

Thanks. Read it through. Good insight - but i am kind-of shocked he is discussing the show and it's couples so openly on a discussion forum.

He is teaching US about them - but is he teaching THEM about them. They don't seem to be getting ANY guidance.