Married At First Sight - Season 2 - Ryan DeNino - Jessica Castro - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

lexforlife wrote:thatkidnino
Ryan De Nino
24 minutes ago
#throwback to 5 weeks ago when I had fans and it wasn't me vs the world :emoji:@aetv @fyi #MAFS @msjcastro



the boy is funny

I like his sense of humor as well as Jess's. Someone tweeted Jess that when she got married all they had to eat was mac and cheese since she didn't know how to cook.
Jess retweeted it and said see to Ryan D and laughed.

Even in season 1 fans were all over the couples. It just is that way. Jamie for being so mean to Doug, Cortney for wanting to go home, and Monet and Vaughn well they got it the worst, especially Vaughn and he said some pretty crazy things (:shocked!: ).

That was cute (on his part) -- such a great photo. He still needs to revamp his communication style!

to all the new posters! Glad you joined us!

BTW I think that the timing of the filming sucked this year. Get married, honeymoon, Christmas, move in, NYE . . . . where is the time to breathe?

Jadeh wrote:BTW I think that the timing of the filming sucked this year.  Get married, honeymoon, Christmas, move in, NYE . . . . where is the time to breathe?

Very true! Obviously the production had a hit with the first season so a second one was ordered right away, but darn if they didn't put the couples in a hard position. Get married, leave for a honeymoon, then come back, find a place to live, have christmas and new years, along with figuring out your new spouse while getting into holiday traditions, which by the way are stressful enough.

watchTV3 wrote:

lexforlife wrote:thatkidnino
Ryan De Nino
24 minutes ago
#throwback to 5 weeks ago when I had fans and it wasn't me vs the world :emoji:@aetv @fyi #MAFS @msjcastro

[img]https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xfa1/t51.2885-15/e15/11190785_1106488246033838_1347676118_n.jpg

the boy is funny

LOL I feel sorry for him. Social media has been on his @ss lately. Going as far as looking for assault and battery arrest records. The MAFS facebook page comments are brutal as well.

Oh my goodness, YES! SOmeone provided a link to the show's facebook page, and I went there for the first time. The comments are TERRIBLE!!! They are calling Ryan a wife-beater ready to pounce - one comment told people who weren't totally anti-Ryan "Ladies, don't defend an abuser" WHAT? Another called him a terrible man and accused him of the worse atrocities. A guy was saying that it doesn't matter that Jess doesn't cook because Ryan is going to hate what she makes (really? you can read the future now, huh??). And on and on...just TERRIBLE things.

I am a strong person...and I couldn't handle it. I think we have to give the guy a CHANCE!! Yes. His communication skills aren't the best. Yes. He DOES have a hot temper - but i see his stepping out of the room (to cool DOWN, folks) a GOOD thing. He always comes back calmer and ready to TRY to lovingly work things out (but, I've noticed, Jess doesn't take to it when he does...she racks it up as another scar and continues to say nothing). But - the rabid fans see his leaving the room as running away from arguments. I don't. He has a coping devise - it's going to get some fresh air before continuing down a negative path. He KNOWS he spouts off to fast. On the honeymoon, he told the camera crew - "don't follow me" in a calm-enough but direct way. That's a guy who is frustrated as hell, but TRYING to cope. And for THIS he is getting racked over the coals. I just don't see the fairness. Does he have work to do on his relationship skills - oh yes. But he didn't have a dad to teach him, his relationship mentors were from a different generation, and the experts are A.O.L. Considering all of this - AND the fact that Jess' communication skills are just as bad - if not worse!!! - I give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

And now... he has to deal with all these "fans" who are attacking him on social media. I read a little of his...was it twitter...where he is obviously beginning to lose it with this "attackers" and leaving snarky comments. I can't blame him, but they don't help his case. Ugggg. I couldn't handle it if everyone took off after me like that. (Vaughn was saying in after interviews that he would have people yell terrible comments at his on the streets and such. It really WAS sad. They edited out so much to make HIM the villain and poor Monet the victim - where the truth was far different. He DID say stupid things and unkind things...but he wasn't NEARLY as bad as the show made him look. He likened the reunion show to being in front of a firing squad and took all he had to stay there and take it. Welcome Ryan D. This season's Vaughn. Totally unfair!)

Great post Regal_GG! Agree with everything you said. I haven't read the comments on facebook but have seen the ones on twitter and instagram and can't for the life of me understand the vitriol. I get they are on a reality TV show and have opened themselves up to criticism but IMO there's a difference between sharing your opinion and spewing off hateful remarks.

My defences do come up though, whenever he gets in that "mood", like that cross lines dialogue he had with Jessica. I don't think he's an abusive person, but you have to admit his temper is definitely not appropiate, also he keeps talking about his grandpa and grandma, and the relationship they had. Did his granpa yell at this grandma like that?

Ryan D and Jessica look to me more and more each day as a case of the experts not doing a proper match up.

Does anyone think these 2 should have not been cast for this season? I ask because the more I think about it (admittedly too much ) it seems both have alot of emotional baggage that I would think they should have dealt with individually before putting themselves through this type experiment. Jess said that she has trouble communicating and thought it would be easier to express herself to her husband. Well no it won't be easier if she hasn't addressed the root of why she has trouble communicating in the first place. Same for Ryan, if he hasn't addressed the real reasons for his anger issues being married to a sweet and more calm person will not make it better or make it go away.

I do think once the experts intervene we will see some break throughs and things will start getting better. I'm just not sure if it will be too late since at this point they have less than 4 weeks to get on the same page.

watchTV3 wrote:These two have the most bizarre arguments ever. I was totally on Jessica's side from the preview but then it was revealed that she also took $30?

Regarding the money...I think there is a clear answer to this! I don't think the money shouldn't have been TOUCHED by ANYONE for 6 months. (But, for accounting, I think it should have been divided and accounted for [who gave what/from which side]. ) If the marriage doesn't click, I think it should have been returned to the giver. That's how *I* would insist it be handled if I were the bride. I don't want ANYONE to give me a gift for me taking a chance (like in Vegas). If this REALLY worked, then I would accept it as a wedding gift. But WOW! Jess and Ryan's families and friends gave them a LOT of money. I wouldn't feel right (under the circumstances) to take my loved ones' money. It would feel like cheating they out of their money.

If I gave it back because the marriage didn't work - then gift me at my REAL wedding some day.

It just hit me....

I am coming up with this possibility and putting it up for your consideration because...I am going to be TOTALLY honest here...This was something I had to deal with in MY past. But after reading and considering how Jess is - and pushing down previous similarities to my past - it hit me. MAYBE I understand her MORE than I once thought.

(Side-note: I'm opening up here. It took me years to face this and a great deal of strength to deal with. So, please be gentle in your comments. Though I am MUCH MUCH better at dealing with this issue, I still have to run my thoughts and actions through a mental-sieve to make sure none of this is creeping back into my thinking.)

Jess definitely is passive-aggressive. Plus she pushes things down. But she ALSO does something curious - and that is setting up arguments and then (after having all that mental-churning time while not bringing them out in the open at the right time) blowing them out of proportion. It's almost like, she's picking a fight -or a bigger fight- and not giving up on the fight when Ryan comes back to work it out. She takes the scar - and let's it bleed instead of curing it (really solving the problem). But it's why she does it in the first place?

I had an emotionally distant father (her father left - or died? can't recall) and because of it I (maybe we) grew up being emotionally frail and doubting myself (low self-esteem). Am I good enough? Am I even lovable for anyone?

It's these "inner demons" that have ruined a few relationships of mine. Because I PUSH them to their limits. I have been both afraid they will leave (rack up another broken relationship) if I would speak up - thus staying quiet when speaking up would be better, as well as passive-aggressively pushing them further into anger with an ulterior motive. Do you love me ENOUGH to fight me and still stay? Can you love me even when I seem unlovable? Will you come back for me if I get lost (bringing it back to.......missing a dad who left and feeling in the back of your little-kid mind that..he left you and didn't come back because you were unlovable).

So she pushes it to the point of BEING unlovable/passive-aggressive/quiet to a point of screwing up the relationship...to TEST him. Do you love me ENOUGH to stay? Pull me out of this mess. BE my prince. Love me DESPITE of my/our issues (quite a few that *I* cause because of MY issues). As I say, I have worked through this A LOT on my own, but in the past it pushed a significant other to a point of frustration, anger, and finally they throw up their hands and say - "I'm out of here!" Other the other hand (and again like Jess) I wanted a take-charge/confident guy. Could it be to take the "place" of the daddy that "left/wasn't there"? (BTW..I would also pick men who are too handsome -Ryan?, too-successful -Ryan?, too confident - Ryan? than I thought I deserved. If they are too-TOO, then I am definitely less than (churning up that low self-esteem) and they will definitely NOT stay...therefore not love me enough. And if so- let's get this break-up over with and let me move on to racking up another loss. (Like Jess, wanting a loving relationship SO much...but sabotaging it herself...and then claiming the scars and the tragic past)

It just struck me the more I thought of Jess and Ryan, the difficulties they each have, and all of this...it seemed TOO close to my past. Do any of you think these issues/situations might explain Jess as well? Hmmmmm

(Again-I'm crazy to even anonymously exposing my past - but it just hit me...THIS could be Jess too!)

Regal_GG wrote:It just hit me....

I am coming up with this possibility and putting it up for your consideration because...I am going to be TOTALLY honest here...This was something I had to deal with in MY past.  But after reading and considering how Jess is - and pushing down previous similarities to my past - it hit me.  MAYBE I understand her MORE than I once thought.

(Side-note: I'm opening up here.  It took me years to face this and a great deal of strength to deal with. So, please be gentle in your comments.  Though I am MUCH MUCH better at dealing with this issue, I still have to run my thoughts and actions through a mental-sieve to make sure none of this is creeping back into my thinking.)

Jess definitely is passive-aggressive.  Plus she pushes things down.  But she ALSO does something curious - and that is setting up arguments and then (after having all that mental-churning time while not bringing them out in the open at the right time) blowing them out of proportion.  It's almost like, she's picking a fight -or a bigger fight- and not giving up on the fight when Ryan comes back to work it out.  She takes the scar - and let's it bleed instead of curing it (really solving the problem).  But it's why she does it in the first place?

I had an emotionally distant father (her father left - or died? can't recall) and because of it I (maybe we) grew up being emotionally frail and doubting myself (low self-esteem).  Am I good enough?  Am I even lovable for anyone?

It's these "inner demons" that have ruined a few relationships of mine.  Because I PUSH them to their limits.  I have been both afraid they will leave (rack up another broken relationship) if I would speak up - thus staying quiet when speaking up would be better, as well as passive-aggressively pushing them further into anger with an ulterior motive.  Do you love me ENOUGH to fight me and still stay?  Can you love me even when I seem unlovable?  Will you come back for me if I get lost (bringing it back to.......missing a dad who left and feeling in the back of your little-kid mind that..he left you and didn't come back because you were unlovable).

So she pushes it to the point of BEING unlovable/passive-aggressive/quiet to a point of screwing up the relationship...to TEST him.  Do you love me ENOUGH to stay?  Pull me out of this mess.  BE my prince.  Love me DESPITE of my/our issues (quite a few that *I* cause because of MY issues).  As I say, I have worked through this A LOT on my own, but in the past it pushed a significant other to a point of frustration, anger, and finally they throw up their hands and say - "I'm out of here!"  Other the other hand (and again like Jess) I wanted a take-charge/confident guy.  Could it be to take the "place" of the daddy that "left/wasn't there"? (BTW..I would also pick men who are too handsome -Ryan?, too-successful -Ryan?, too confident - Ryan? than I thought I deserved.  If they are too-TOO, then I am definitely less than (churning up that low self-esteem) and they will definitely NOT stay...therefore not love me enough.  And if so- let's get this break-up over with and let me move on to racking up another loss.  (Like Jess, wanting a loving relationship SO much...but sabotaging it herself...and then claiming the scars and the tragic past)

It just struck me the more I thought of Jess and Ryan, the difficulties they each have, and all of this...it seemed TOO close to my past.  Do any of you think these issues/situations might explain Jess as well?  Hmmmmm

(Again-I'm crazy to even anonymously exposing my past - but it just hit me...THIS could be Jess too!)

Thank you for sharing your story. It's quite obvious that Jess is in self-sabotage mode. She sets up fights, watches Ryan explode and plays the victim. IMO, I think she doesn't think she is good enough for Ryan and that he will ultimately leave her.

In her head she's like: how can someone so good looking and financially stable want me? Impossible. It's obvious that she doesn't believe this will work out, therefore she sees no point in opening up and being vulnerable. I don't know what Ryan can do to make her feel secure and frankly I don't think it's his job. Besides, Ryan doesn't have the personality to reassure her and let her know without saying much, that he isn't going to cheat or abandon her.

I'm really hoping that the experts will touch on this aspect of her personality. I have zero qualifications in psychology but even I can see what her issue is. Even if this doesn't work out with Ryan, she would become a better person and be more likely to have a successful relationship in the future. She is a pretty girl with a goof heart; she just needs to get out of her own head.

EDIT: Ryan on the other hand is a bull in a china shop. I believe that his intentions are pure but he has no idea how to go about anything. He has a big ego and IMO is too concerned about how he'll come accross on TV. He is a mix of vulnerable and cocky at the same time. His obsession with his grandparents' relationship is troubling. I 'm pretty sure he has mentionned them at least a dozen times since the beginning of the season.
Something else that bother me is the lack of overt affection shown towards Jess. She has self esteem issues but things could be better if he showed her he cared. Everyone can feel he does but he probably thinks he'll be weak for openly showing affection.