Married At First Sight - Season 2 - Episode Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

mindless wrote:Still can't stand Ryan D and Sean keeps acting like the type I have him pegged as. Self-involved and only interested in others in terms of what they can offer him, AKA a shoulder to cry on and a sex partner. I mean Davina's mom being the only female member of a ski team in India is frigging cool! And he acted like she'd said nothing. That isn't just a red flag, that's totally obnoxious. I don't think Davina is high maintenance, she's just perceptive, unlike Sean. Being ignored like that gets old really soon.

Ryan D says one thing and his face says something else entirely. His reaction to her saying she was engaged before was so bizarre. It's so obvious that he thinks he's better than her in every way.

Ryan R is a total sweetheart and I'm glad Jaclyn is starting to see how lucky she is. I'm sure she does again while watching the show.

He is massively insecure. I think he heard that as "I bet I'm a better skier than you" (we have no idea what happened on the actual slopes by the way which felt like missing a piece of the story). He read her comment like a guy would, as a competitive statement, not a personal "opening up about my past." And why did Davina choose that moment to out that fact ... maybe partly to show strength and competition. Anyway, he could have in some movie or post-therapy version of the world responded by "reflecting" her statement, and adding something personal of his own "wow, it will really hurt my male ego if you turn out to be better than me because of your genes!" or "oh, that's interesting. If she was so fantastic, why did you only ski one time?" But I think, with cameras rolling, he intentionally let it sit there.

The Cameras and the producers tagging along are not visible to viewers, but their presence and the fears about WHAT WILL AIR ON TV, infect much of what we see, on this and every reality show. That's why Ryan stormed off in the "trashy" fight, I think, in part. He wasn't going to have her call him out for a remark he clearly would regret or take back in front of the cameras.

Columbia, MD wrote:The more I watch this, the more contrived it seems.  We are the victims of the edit, and we are being shown things out of context. JMHO.

Perhaps this is no where more evident than in the noisy sex comment. The previous weeks edits made it appear that she was upset with this comment, when you saw it last night she clearly went right long with it.

Re: Ryan walking out on Jessica at dinner. While I have no person experience with this, I do have a friend who has anger problems and has identified it and is working on it. One of the methods he has been told to use is to walk away momentarily so you have the opportunity so regain control of your emotions and avoid spouting off words that may not be able to take back. I bet Ryan will walk back in and apologize after composing himself. It should be noted that while no one is perfect, if he is indeed like my friend, he should not have been put in the experiment in my opinion.

I just have a feeling that all the couples would stay together. Everyone of us have issues it's just how we deal with it. I read somewhere that Dr C said the experts helped the couples more this season than last season (due to Monet and Vaughn drama).

I finally finished the show and from what I can tell all 3 couples have some issues and also good points.

Ryan & Jaclyn: They're moving along and seem good together but she's still calling him "dude" and it seems to bother him. I do think she's softening but it appears that she's still trying to protect herself from hurt. It was good that he was able to teach her to golf and be in charge. He needs to work on that side of it or she'll be running the relationship.

Ryan & Jessica: Right now they have the phsyical side of their relationship but need to work on talking things through. She's trying but he's not reacting the way I'd expect. Walking out was a bad idea in this situation. If that's something he does to control anger then he needs to tell her that because right now it looks like something that would hurt a lot. She seems to be trying to get out of her comfort zone like in the water. I'm not sure about these two just yet. Will have to see more.

Sean & Davina: I'm cutting Sean some slack here because the issues we're seeing seem more like a "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" type of situation. I'm glad that she talked to him about her feelings and what she wanted from him. He appears to be ready to work on it. Women (including me) seem to expect our partner to understand without us telling but sometimes we need to figuratively hit them in the head with it like he said. As for him not reacting much to her telling him about her mom, I think he was nervous about skiing and that may have just gone over his head. I know when I'm thinking about something I'm not always hearing. If it bothered her she should have brought it up later after skiing.

At least two of the couples have location issues so will be interesting to see how they work it out. I think it can be a red flag if they do like Monet & Vaughn did and don't get an apartment together. Holidays have to be worked out in any relationship so don't think this is just a MAFS specific problem. Right now the editing is making it hard to tell who may still be together. I'm trying really hard to look past it. :Nod:

Working out holidays with someone you've known for a week would be a challenge! Those were big moves, sending ripples through both larger family systems.

jlccaz wrote:

mindless wrote:Still can't stand Ryan D and Sean keeps acting like the type I have him pegged as. Self-involved and only interested in others in terms of what they can offer him, AKA a shoulder to cry on and a sex partner. I mean Davina's mom being the only female member of a ski team in India is frigging cool! And he acted like she'd said nothing. That isn't just a red flag, that's totally obnoxious. I don't think Davina is high maintenance, she's just perceptive, unlike Sean. Being ignored like that gets old really soon.

Ryan D says one thing and his face says something else entirely. His reaction to her saying she was engaged before was so bizarre. It's so obvious that he thinks he's better than her in every way.

Ryan R is a total sweetheart and I'm glad Jaclyn is starting to see how lucky she is. I'm sure she does again while watching the show.

He is massively insecure.  I think he heard that as "I bet I'm a better skier than you" (we have no idea what happened on the actual slopes by the way which felt like missing a piece of the story).  He read her comment like a guy would, as a competitive statement, not a personal "opening up about my past."  And why did Davina choose that moment to out that fact ... maybe partly to show strength and competition.  Anyway, he could have in some movie or post-therapy version of the world responded by "reflecting" her statement, and adding something personal of his own "wow, it will really hurt my male ego if you turn out to be better than me because of your genes!" or "oh, that's interesting.  If she was so fantastic, why did you only ski one time?"  But I think, with cameras rolling, he intentionally let it sit there.

The Cameras and the producers tagging along are not visible to viewers, but their presence and the fears about WHAT WILL AIR ON TV, infect much of what we see, on this and every reality show.  That's why Ryan stormed off in the "trashy" fight, I think, in part.  He wasn't going to have her call him out for a remark he clearly would regret or take back in front of the cameras.

I didn't see it like that at all. I thought she was just sharing an interesting factoid that was relevant to the situation, like people do while getting to know each other. Anyone with normal manners would've at least uttered an "Oh, that's cool" or "That's interesting", not acted like they didn't hear her at all. And IIRC she gave him a chance to react twice, yet he acted deaf both times. He just reminds me of someone I used to know through my studies in so many many ways, and he did that ignoring thing a lot. If you told him something he didn't know, about anything, he would ignore and change the subject. It's unbelievably unsettling and I have a feeling that wasn't the only time Sean did it to Davina. The guy I knew also made a big show of not eating salad, so Sean saying he doesn't like fruit (not just strawberries or bananas, but fruit in general) gave me major flashbacks. I guess we'll see if he's any more receptive in the future.

I didn't save the recording but Sean did say something when Davina told him about her mom although not as much as I'd like. They definitely need to work on communicating because I would have probably said to him "don't you think that's cool?" or something to get a response. I know there's a tendency to blame Sean for everything (and he does have his moments) but Davina also contributes imo.

albean99 wrote:I didn't save the recording but Sean did say something when Davina told him about her mom although not as much as I'd like. They definitely need to work on communicating because I would have probably said to him "don't you think that's cool?" or something to get a response. I know there's a tendency to blame Sean for everything (and he does have his moments) but Davina also contributes imo.

Agreed!  

Yes-I think he said something like "Really?"..... but I think Davina wanted more feedback "complete sentences"    ...Did you see their conversation on the couch when Sean asked about  "her most romantic date ever"?.  The fact that he asked the question, I thought was really cute.  When she responded and he proceeds to tell her about his most romantic date ever, she got upset because he did not give her feedback on her story first.  

Sean has his hands full.  It will be very hard to please "manhattan Davina".

albean99 wrote:I didn't save the recording but Sean did say something when Davina told him about her mom although not as much as I'd like. They definitely need to work on communicating because I would have probably said to him "don't you think that's cool?" or something to get a response. I know there's a tendency to blame Sean for everything (and he does have his moments) but Davina also contributes imo.

He said "Really?" when she was talking, but nothing after she finished. Then she actually did say "Isn't it cool though, about my mom being a skier?" and he said nothing just changed the subject to gloves. So she was actively looking for a response and he blatantly ignored her.

mindless wrote:

albean99 wrote:I didn't save the recording but Sean did say something when Davina told him about her mom although not as much as I'd like. They definitely need to work on communicating because I would have probably said to him "don't you think that's cool?" or something to get a response. I know there's a tendency to blame Sean for everything (and he does have his moments) but Davina also contributes imo.

He said "Really?" when she was talking, but nothing after she finished. Then she actually did say "Isn't it cool though, about my mom being a skier?" and he said nothing just changed the subject to gloves. So she was actively looking for a response and he blatantly ignored her.

Shows that I didn't pay attention either.  I'm not 100% sure that editing didn't have something to do with it but clearly Sean missed the boat there. It reminds me of Jaclyn apparently ordering for Ryan last week and him not liking it in the PI even though she tweeted that they had talked about what they wanted before she ordered.

albean99 wrote:

mindless wrote:

albean99 wrote:I didn't save the recording but Sean did say something when Davina told him about her mom although not as much as I'd like. They definitely need to work on communicating because I would have probably said to him "don't you think that's cool?" or something to get a response. I know there's a tendency to blame Sean for everything (and he does have his moments) but Davina also contributes imo.

He said "Really?" when she was talking, but nothing after she finished. Then she actually did say "Isn't it cool though, about my mom being a skier?" and he said nothing just changed the subject to gloves. So she was actively looking for a response and he blatantly ignored her.

Shows that I didn't pay attention either.  I'm not 100% sure that editing didn't have something to do with it but clearly Sean missed the boat there. It reminds me of Jaclyn apparently ordering for Ryan last week and him not liking it in the PI even though she tweeted that they had talked about what they wanted before she ordered.

It is hard to say what's editing and what's really going down with Sean and Davina. My first instinct when he did not say anything about her mom being on ski team was JERK. I can't believe that he didn't even inquire ... especially even to ask about India having a ski team as the country typically does not have a large representation of winter athletes!!

That said, when Davina was getting ticked off at Sean on the sleigh ride for his not responding correctly to her tears, I was like geez, lady. Give the guy a break, he's not a mind reader. I am glad that she said something but, eh. Just seeing how she made such a big deal out of doing a friggin snow angel was a bit much. She acted like she rappelled down the side of a mountain instead of just laying on the snow. Big deal.

I've now concluded that BOTH Sean and Davina are A LOT of work ... I hope to see more pleasant sides of both of them. One thing that I noticed for sure is that they did not seem as lovey-dovey as their wedding day

Ryan and Jessica ... wow does he seem like a bully with anger issues. So not impressed with kayak tip and especially not impressed with how he handled the jet ski. What's his deal? He's just not my cup of tea and I don't see them as being a great match. He needs to go to gentleman 101 classes IMHO.

The best for last ... Ryan and Jaclyn. They are so much fun to watch and I wish we could see more of those two. They seem great together and definitely on right road. They are respectful and kind to each. I feel a love story perking along with those two.

So the couples this season are super fascinating -- even moreso than season one.  Because you can really see why they were set up, but at the same time you can really see all of their "issues" too.  It's a good thing that apparently the experts helped them out, because they need it.

Ryan & Jessica:  So I don't think Ryan is as much of a "bully" or a "bad guy", as so much that he uses his "humor" whenever he starts to get uncomfortable about something or has to be vulnerable.  It seems like mostly an immaturity thing, which I think a lot of work and a lot of communicating will eventually resolve -- and Jessica likely needs to draw some lines between stuff that is really serious and stuff that isn't (for example, the jet ski stuff).  I do think Ryan's walking away to cool down when he got angry was a good thing, though, rather than a bad thing -- so long as they talked afterwards.

Ryan and Jaclyn:  Jaclyn has walls up for days, which is why she's putting Ryan in the "bro" camp.  I don't think Ryan is anywhere close to as confident as Doug was with Jamie, which is why he isn't "hurdling" her walls yet (despite saying otherwise).  But I think that's the right move, because I think her vulnerability and letting him take charge a little bit more will come around.  That said, if it's going to work, he can't just feel emasculated by her and he's going to have to understand that she's going to want to take charge to some extent.  I think they're actually well matched because I think he actually likes that about her, but we'll see.  I also think she'll eventually be able to give him a little bit of the lead, but if they're going to work it will need to be as partners as opposed to a more "traditional".

Sean and Devina:  I really don't like him -- thanks in part to the insider information and in part to the fact that he does come across as awfully self-involved.  Devina is right that he never gives her feedback and doesn't acknowledge things that she says.  He really really really needs to work on it and not make everything about Sean.  That said, she has way more unrealistic expectations than Jaclyn did/does, and the way she seemed to expect him to "get it" immediately came across that way.  She either needs to want to try to get him there or not in terms of understanding her, or not...  and right now, with her talk of "hunting for red flags", I lean towards not.  Of course, he needs to actually be honest about what his issues really are and wanting to work on them, and I lean towards "not" on that point too....

(Oh and hi.  I'm new here ).