Bachelor 19 - Becca Tilley #7

From the previous thread I've read that Becca contradicted herself when discussing her previous relationship and not being in-love.
I see it a bit differently. I think it is easier to love someone than to fall in-love. You can love another person, who he/she is, their personality and their quirks, you can find them beautiful and attractive and still you don't fall in-love with them, to the point of letting them touch you in places you don't want to be touched (literally and metaphorically).
So for me it is possible she loved the guy she was with for 4 years, but never fell in-love with him. Maybe she only came to the realization of it afterwards.
So when you are explaining your (love)story to someone else, you don't tell them everything, sometimes you start with things that are the most important, or that represent the major issue, something that you felt was the core problem in the previous relationship.
I think Becca explained herself good the first time and the second.
Firstly, she was honest about her fear of not being reciprocated and feeling more than the other person. That's speaks loudly about her fear of vulnerability and trust issues.
It has been brought up by someone before, that is a major issue of Becca, not the intimacy.
Intimacy is indeed the consequence of that.
I don't want to question her faith and reasons for not wanting to have sex before marriage, but I do understand that when you don't completely trust someone, even at the expense of that you might get hurt, you can't freely open up (to all the possibilities).

I think Becca started to cross that line with Chris. And IMHO that's what scares her now and makes her put the breaks on, especially in the situation that is not clear since there's another woman involved and because the circumstances aren't "normal".

I really believe her that she likes to take things slow and decide after having come clarity. I also understand her hesitation in talking about The Feeling when she has no certainty either.

So either both take the plunge and discover IT outside of the confinement of this show or fairly, one takes the decision that sets both on different paths.

I think I need to rewatch the show. I am not seeing what you guys are and I want to see the light badly.

Mimi27 wrote:As a hopeless romantic, I always watch this show to see the romance and the love story. I began watching in the middle of this season in order to see the developing love story between Chris and Whitney, as per the spoiler. I never saw it. As I looked at the dates with Chris and Becca, I thought Chris must be a great actor because he's making me think he's falling in love with Becca! Their love story has continued to grow and seems genuine. Chris is in love with Becca.
Luvstruck said it best: Becca's theme is too little too late while Whitney's theme is too much too soon. Chris greatly respects, deeply admires and likes Whitney a lot. However, he's in love with Becca.
Will she reject him or will he let her go because she's too much of a flight risk? Will his feelings for Whitney make a good foundation from which he will be able to fall in love with Whitney?
Whatever the outcome, Chris has chosen two of the finest contestants who have ever been on this show. My dream outcome would be that he continues to date Becca and possibly get engaged at ATFR. Whitney would be a fabulous 'ette. If Chris does pick Whitney, I hope she never watches the videos TLA made of C-B. The videos capture the true love story of this season.

I also began watching in the middle of the season and saw a love story between B and C right away.  I came looking for the spoiler to see if I was right.  When I saw it was W I went :shocked!: .  I couldn't believe it.  If and a big if he chose W, I feel bad for her as she watches the show.  I don't feel her edit was kind to her.  JMO

What do you guys think Becca gave Chris on their LCD.?

concerned36 wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:IA, watch the lead, but the most important item IMO is forget the spoilers. If you can get that out of your head, you can see more clearly.

It was so obvious Brooks wasn't falling for Des. As a sleuther, once you realize that the spoiler isn't going to happen, you start to look for who the F1 really will be.

I never have believed the spoilers. I could see all season that Brooks was not in love with Des. He was very torn though because he didn't want to hurt Desiree. I have just always felt that RS was getting info from someone connected to the show itself? How do we really know? So sometimes they give him the true one and sometimes not. That way no one can really depend on them so the surprise element can always be there.  I know Chris is in love with Becca. To me, there is no doubt. However, I do not think Becca is in love with him. She likes him of course. But I'm not sure she can get there in 24 hours since she likes to take things slowly. The night before the FRC, she is telling him she doesn't know when she wants to get married. Anyway, I just gave a possibility that does end up with Becca is the one. I don't see that Becca being F1 and a straightforward ending contains any twist at all. Where is the unexpected twist?  I 've only watched 3 prior seasons and none of them announced "unexpected" twist, yet Desiree's was sort of unexpected. That's what I was trying to figure out.  

IMO there was nothing unexpected with Desire/Chris, their cinderella story was very clear to us from episode 3 to the end. Not an unexpected twist there, but a realization from Des. The way she acted with/around Chris was totally different than the others, like putting her hand in btw his thighs, etc, these things she never allowed herself to do with Brooke or any other contestants, many little things, concer, the devil is in the detail. Back to Becca,
Chris wants Becca, and Becca wants Chris, and B said that, but Brooks didn't want Des, that's the difference btw these 2 stories.
For a relationship to move forward both parties have to be willing, and from what I see with C & B, they are both willing, it's mutual. JMO

Mimi27 wrote:As a hopeless romantic, I always watch this show to see the romance and the love story. I began watching in the middle of this season in order to see the developing love story between Chris and Whitney, as per the spoiler. I never saw it. As I looked at the dates with Chris and Becca, I thought Chris must be a great actor because he's making me think he's falling in love with Becca! Their love story has continued to grow and seems genuine. Chris is in love with Becca.
snipped...

Re the actor. I thought the same thing, but with each episode I found him to be the worst actor, and the worst script follower. Those issues didn't seem to be a problem when he was with Becca. The editors are very clever. I have not given 100% into the sleuthing end, therefore there could be a whole lot I'm missing.

The in your face, all in, contestants have been chosen as the F1 as well, so that can't be discounted either. JMHO

happygolucky wrote:From the previous thread I've read that Becca contradicted herself when discussing her previous relationship and not being in-love.
I see it a bit differently. I think it is easier to love someone than to fall in-love. You can love another person, who he/she is, their personality and their quirks, you can find them beautiful and attractive and still you don't fall in-love with them, to the point of letting them touch you in places you don't want to be touched (literally and metaphorically).
So for me it is possible she loved the guy she was with for 4 years, but never fell in-love with him. Maybe she only came to the realization of it afterwards.
So when you are explaining your (love)story to someone else, you don't tell them everything, sometimes you start with things that are the most important, or that represent the major issue, something that you felt was the core problem in the previous relationship.
I think Becca explained herself good the first time and the second.
Firstly, she was honest about her fear of not being reciprocated and feeling more than the other person. That's speaks loudly about her fear of vulnerability and trust issues.
It has been brought up by someone before, that is a major issue of Becca, not the intimacy.
Intimacy is indeed the consequence of that.
I don't want to question her faith and reasons for not wanting to have sex before marriage, but I do understand that when you don't completely trust someone, even at the expense of that you might get hurt, you can't freely open up (to all the possibilities).

I think Becca started to cross that line with Chris. And IMHO that's what scares her now and makes her put the breaks on, especially in the situation that is not clear since there's another woman involved and because the circumstances aren't "normal".

I really believe her that she likes to take things slow and decide after having come clarity. I also understand her hesitation in talking about The Feeling when she has no certainty either.

So either both take the plunge and discover IT outside of the confinement of this show or fairly, one takes the decision that sets both on different paths.

I agree with everything you said!!

see2love wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:IA, watch the lead, but the most important item IMO is forget the spoilers. If you can get that out of your head, you can see more clearly.

It was so obvious Brooks wasn't falling for Des. As a sleuther, once you realize that the spoiler isn't going to happen, you start to look for who the F1 really will be.

Very tru about Brooks. I never for a second believe she would choose him. She was blinded by him but i saw how she was with Chris. She was very different with him and i prayed and still believed she would choose him.

Sometimes the Lead get distracted...but they always seem to get it together. Cus Jason and Molly. Chris is all about Becca, even if she doesnt want him..he will always wonder. I still beleve she is F1

But See2love, Becca does want him, she said whatever it takes, she will get there. One thing Becca is asking Chris and his sister, is time, and I am sure Chris decided to give it to her. She is F1
Those previews about B being not into C might turn out to be nothing, plus, they have not shown anything about their LCD,
I can't wait to see their romantic hands dance for the last time.

GuardianAngel wrote:IA, watch the lead, but the most important item IMO is forget the spoilers. If you can get that out of your head, you can see more clearly.

It was so obvious Brooks wasn't falling for Des. As a sleuther, once you realize that the spoiler isn't going to happen, you start to look for who the F1 really will be.

Now days, to me, it's not so much the spoilers, spoilers can be wrong. The definitive clue to me in the last few seasons is SM. Andi' season takes the cake with SM. It was Andi , it was Josh, it was MM hitting you right in the face constantly. This season we have all the previous contestants plus Whitney giving us the clues. Also, Becca' sisters ( Becca for Bachelorette ). These clues are the main reason I don't think for one second that Becca is F1. That doesn't mean that I don't see how infatuated Chris is with Becca on my screen. Without SM, I would have been convinced she was the F1, because really the edit IMO is pointing to her but TPTB could be doing that on purpose to confuse the spoiled ones. IMO as much as I want to, I have yet to see a smoking gun pointing me to Becca post show.

Mimi27 wrote:As a hopeless romantic, I always watch this show to see the romance and the love story. I began watching in the middle of this season in order to see the developing love story between Chris and Whitney, as per the spoiler. I never saw it. As I looked at the dates with Chris and Becca, I thought Chris must be a great actor because he's making me think he's falling in love with Becca! Their love story has continued to grow and seems genuine. Chris is in love with Becca.
Luvstruck said it best: Becca's theme is too little too late while Whitney's theme is too much too soon. Chris greatly respects, deeply admires and likes Whitney a lot. However, he's in love with Becca.
Will she reject him or will he let her go because she's too much of a flight risk? Will his feelings for Whitney make a good foundation from which he will be able to fall in love with Whitney?
Whatever the outcome, Chris has chosen two of the finest contestants who have ever been on this show. My dream outcome would be that he continues to date Becca and possibly get engaged at ATFR. Whitney would be a fabulous 'ette. If Chris does pick Whitney, I hope she never watches the videos TLA made of C-B. The videos capture the true love story of this season.

Great post and I totally agree.

GuardianAngel wrote:Roberto never told Ali he was falling in love with her until the LCD. He couldn't be the F1 because he didn't say he was in love with her unlike the F2. Ali was distracted by Frank.

Becca IMO is being realistic. Yes she want's to get married, but she is not going to accept a proposal and a ring and get married the next day, or in six months. I think that is what she is explaining to him. She has always IMO been very real in this process. No she's isn't going to pick up and move to Arlington tomorrow, but it's not off the table. Chris told her he's falling in love with her, he told her multiple times, she said the same.

Chris is fighting to hard for her. We know she was at least in the F2 all along. Kaitlyn was never a factor. He's been fighting hard to figure out what is best for him. The safe choice, or the one he wants. I'm not saying he doesn't feel it with Whitney, but I'm seeing way more affection with Becca. That's the way I've seen the story board all along.

Of course, I can be totally wrong.

ITA GA, best summary so far, In addition, I believe he picked her. Becca is F1

Chrisbecca wrote:

happygolucky wrote:From the previous thread I've read that Becca contradicted herself when discussing her previous relationship and not being in-love.
I see it a bit differently. I think it is easier to love someone than to fall in-love. You can love another person, who he/she is, their personality and their quirks, you can find them beautiful and attractive and still you don't fall in-love with them, to the point of letting them touch you in places you don't want to be touched (literally and metaphorically).
So for me it is possible she loved the guy she was with for 4 years, but never fell in-love with him. Maybe she only came to the realization of it afterwards.
So when you are explaining your (love)story to someone else, you don't tell them everything, sometimes you start with things that are the most important, or that represent the major issue, something that you felt was the core problem in the previous relationship.
I think Becca explained herself good the first time and the second.
Firstly, she was honest about her fear of not being reciprocated and feeling more than the other person. That's speaks loudly about her fear of vulnerability and trust issues.
It has been brought up by someone before, that is a major issue of Becca, not the intimacy.
Intimacy is indeed the consequence of that.
I don't want to question her faith and reasons for not wanting to have sex before marriage, but I do understand that when you don't completely trust someone, even at the expense of that you might get hurt, you can't freely open up (to all the possibilities).

I think Becca started to cross that line with Chris. And IMHO that's what scares her now and makes her put the breaks on, especially in the situation that is not clear since there's another woman involved and because the circumstances aren't "normal".

I really believe her that she likes to take things slow and decide after having come clarity. I also understand her hesitation in talking about The Feeling when she has no certainty either.

So either both take the plunge and discover IT outside of the confinement of this show or fairly, one takes the decision that sets both on different paths.

I agree with everything you said!!

your right! I think they both took the plunge. She is F1