Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
notarose wrote:emusha wrote:SueSt wrote:I think Andi was honestly looking for love on the show. But she tried on the fiancée role and it didn’t fit. Just like she tried on a lawyer role, a fashion designer role, a celebrity role. She appears to be searching for what life/lifestyle would fit her best; I think searching is appropriate at her age. And I actually commend for her commitment, she seems to throw herself into each role with a full heart. Good for her; ultimately she will settle down and find the life that suits her best.
My lingering distaste for Andi is about the way she treated Nick. They both appear to have moved on and that’s terrific. But her lack of empathy was stunning.
Great post sue
This is exactly what i kept coming up against during her season -- she really was so much in that developmental phase -- i don't think she knew what she wanted at all during the show...that was *my* biggest hold up with her... nick was someone that pushed her to grow and engaged her on so many diff levels but she was not into taking those steps to grow. andi used to be very black and white. very -- this is the template life and how I want to live it let me go and build that and here's hte perfect guy to fit that picture of my success... it's great to actually see her break that mold and realize that the journey is what's so worthwhile -- which is the perspective nick has always had...i think this is what andi needs right now and i'm glad she's getting this chance to try and figure herself out.
I think it is at Andi's core to be a more linear thinker and that is beneficial to her as the majority of people are brown bears (borrowing from Sharleen) and that's what makes the world work as we know it. It is evident even in the way she approaches this latest series of changes. Some day she will hopefully find a mate that is less esoteric than Nick but more introspective than Josh or herself. That would be a better balance for her, and less stressful. It would allow her and her partner to grow together.
People like Nick, JJ, or Sharleen are basically "pandas" at birth meaning if a person isn't like them inherently then catching up to them isn't nor should it be expected or wanted. It is far better to be one's natural self. Andi is meant to continue to grow and be a better version of her unique self if that's her plan.
It much more beneficial for Andi to be friends with Sharleen and learn from her than to have been in a romantic relationship with Nick (or someone like him), and in the long run would not be satisfying for Nick. Sharleen basically chastised him in her finale blog pointing out that he should have maintained his sceptical perceptiveness and if he had he wouldn't have lost his way.
Kaitlyn's personality is a more equitable match in that she is nearer his level of introspection so they could potential grow together in an organic sense. She may even be a panda herself
We'll have to wait and see.
Really enjoying the conversation!!
Thanks, Emusha. The fact that Andi was in a development phase and so close to getting what she REALLY needed (in my opinion), kept me hooked to her LS with Nick. Like you said, Nick pushed her to grow and one part of her reveled in it. She had it all, truly, and walked away. But we’re each on our own path, so I do wish her well as tries to figure out what would work.
NR, I’m not sure what you mean about Nick being esoteric; although I do agree that Andi was/is definitely very linear, Nick not so much. My fantasy of N&A was that he opened doors for her that she didn’t know existed and she would have helped him execute on his dreams. Dreamer and driven; I (still) think they would have made a thrilling pair (AND it would have made for a thrilling LS)… IF Andi would have had enough courage to follow her heart and not her head.
I personally hate that Sharleen chastised Nick in her final blog post. I think it’s easy to comment in hindsight and I felt her criticism was unfair given the circumstances.
I didn’t watch the Bach, but agree that K’s personality seems a much easier match with Nick’s… so it will be interesting to see how/if that translates in the love department…
Last edited by SueSt on Sat Apr 18, 2015 5:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
emusha wrote:That is a fantastic point NR that Andi would likely get more out of a friendship with sharleen.
I always thought that Andi was missing out on so much depth in the relationship with Nick but you are right -- the way she handled things and how she appears to process/make decisions -- being around sharleen could be what helps her branch out into more out-of-the-box thinking...rather than what she had with nick which I almost felt like she was absolutely resisting/afraid of it cos it was forcing her to be so exposed due to multifaceted intimacy....
I completely agree that nick wouldn't get all that he'd want/need in that pairing but it's evident even from the fact that nick and her keep the same company that there's something about their personalities that clicked... we'll have to wait and see how nick and kaitlyn work together -- i expect she's allll about out-of-the-box thinking and that her worldview is more similar to Nick's than Andi's ever was with him...I can see kaitlyn really bringing soo much into a relationship with nick -- she's got depth, laughter, conversation, adventure/spontaneity -- across the board seems much more aligned with him
I agree with you that sharleen and nick are the kind of personalities that you either "get" or you don't. I think sharleen is more skilled at explaining herself than Nick who doesn't seem to even want to bother with it much when it comes to a public perception but they're my favorite out of this show and I'm excited to watch nick and his bumblings on tv again... AND read sharleen's commentary on it!
as for andi -- all the best to her -- I moved on from MEandI quite completely during the airing of her season there's very little that's still appealing to me about her...
Emusha, you really made me smile. LOVE these phrases
multifaceted intimacy
nick and his bumblings
AWESOME!!
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
kimberlyg wrote:I still like Andi a lot, but there are a lot of "Andi's" in NYC. She's not a special snowflake here, and I worry about what's going to happen when she realizes it. There are a lot of women (and men) here who are just as much trying to figure things out and do different things in business/entertainment/fashion/etc., but they are richer, prettier, more well-connected, more famous, more ambitious, more cutthroat, have a more prestigious educational pedigree, etc.
Andi is, IMO, still at the infatuation stage with NYC. I'll be curious to see if she's still here a year or two down the road.
Good one, Kimberly!!
Actually, I do think Andi has a lot to offer...
But to the earlier discussion upthread, it's not what you are born with (or given) that counts, but what you make of yourself (hard work, give back to society, demonstrate compassion, etc.. ) that really defines you as a person (your humanity).
And to this point, I agree that Andi does have a long way to go!!
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
GuardianAngel wrote: kimberlyg
She has a tendency to start things and not finish them. Maybe it's all part of trying to figure out what she wants to do with herself.
I was going to say I haven't read any posts about her blog lately and that's one example of starting and not finishing. I decided to go check it out. It says "coming soon a brand new look for a brand new chapter".
She hasn't had a new blog post since about a month or so after the breakup. Only thing she has done is gone to charity and fashion events, and those Q&A's at schools. She did mention something in the Ruben Jay video that she has something coming soon that "Bachelor/ette fans will enjoy".
Agreed with @kimberlyg post as well!
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
@AndiDorfman 20 mins ago
Never say never may not be in my vocabulary but slim to none is ;) @people
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
like smoke from a vigil candle, consummating a love now deeply matured. -Zak Waddell
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
If she was asked if they'd get back together, the proper answer would have been, no that will never happen. This would eliminate her looking like a fool by saying never say never, no I didn't say that, I said slim to none. The answer is NO. End of story. Kind of like No I don't miss her. End of story.
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
Linds911 wrote:@AndiDorfman 20 mins ago
Never say never may not be in my vocabulary but slim to none is ;) @people
She just can't keep her lips zipped if there is the slightest hint of criticism.
The more she talks about how slim the chances of her and Josh reconciling, the more desperate she comes across and the less chance there is of people believing she is over him. I bet every time Josh hears about one of her interviews, the happier he is to have moved on.
You could be the juiciest, most ripe peach, but there is still going to be someone who doesn't like peaches.
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
GuardianAngel wrote:Another example of how childish she is. She may be book smart and passed a bar exam, but she lacks in social skills. She constantly has the need to be one up on everything.
If she was asked if they'd get back together, the proper answer would have been, no that will never happen. This would eliminate her looking like a fool by saying never say never, no I didn't say that, I said slim to none. The answer is NO. End of story. Kind of like No I don't miss her. End of story.
Exactly, just spit it out and make it clear. Or, just go back to private life and stop giving interviews. This hasn't been a good week for Andi with the different magazine articles contradicting her - she's ready to date, she's not ready to date. Never say never or slim to none? What is it? She makes no sense half the time. And the prize for this week - she gives Josh her blessing. How sweet of her. I'm sure Josh can move on now.
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
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Re: Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3
umngirl wrote:You know, if People wanted to they could probably release the exact quote via recording. Most red carpet interviews are recorded. But they won't do that because it's not that big of a deal. Plus it would just make her look worse.
Exactly. IMO she already looks double worse for insinuating they misquoted her.
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