Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3

BTW, I have great respect for lawyers they work hard to get into law school, compete in law school, and work hard after it as well. BUT Andi's time as a lawyer was very, very short. She has not been a lawyer now for almost twice as long as she was a lawyer. She has been away from law for almost half as long as she spent learning it and doing it. I don't consider Andi a lawyer, I consider her as a person who went to law school and then spent the least time possible being a lawyer before she ran away from it to do something else.

Honestly, only having seen law school and law from others, I will defer to the opinion of KB, jclaz, and our other actual lawyers on our board on how tough what Andi did was and how much she truly deserves this break or opportunity. I am also removing my initial post, as I have no desire to be insulting to those who work very hard.

stuckinsc wrote:

bleuberry wrote:I wondered how she affords that too when I read about rooms to fill.

I also agree that law school is no cake walk, especially if you do it without taking any time off of your studies.

And if she has rooms to fill why post IG or Twitter pics of your undies drying in her kitchen? To try to garner sympathy, when in fact once again mommy and daddy are keeping her from experiencing real life?

I am all for Andi experiencing and growing, just do it on your own dime like others or admit like Emily does how lucky you are to have someone else paying your bills.

I think everyone is taking rooms to fill the wrong way. She probably has a tiny apt with a bedroom, living room and kitchen. We don't know if she had furniture in storage since she said she always had a roommate. So she could be talking about curtains, pictures and other things that make a place a home.

If Andi is one of the many that GOD has blessed with good fortune I am happy for her and I bet everyone wishes they were lucky like that also.

I think Andi was honestly looking for love on the show. But she tried on the fiancée role and it didn’t fit. Just like she tried on a lawyer role, a fashion designer role, a celebrity role. She appears to be searching for what life/lifestyle would fit her best; I think searching is appropriate at her age. And I actually commend for her commitment, she seems to throw herself into each role with a full heart. Good for her; ultimately she will settle down and find the life that suits her best.

My lingering distaste for Andi is about the way she treated Nick. They both appear to have moved on and that’s terrific. But her lack of empathy was stunning.

eliza3 wrote:If Andi, like thousands of other young people in this country, have family money, I don't understand why that is an issue.   I have no idea if the money she is spending is from an inheritance, family trust, bachelorette monies or direct from mom and dad.  I'm not sure what she is supposed to do with that money - not spend it?  Not use it to get an apartment in NY?   Is she blessed to have funds to live with?  Absolutely!   Do I think she needs to post info on her apartment and it's size etc?  Absolutely Not!   To me, it isn't IF she has the money, how much or where it came from, but how she is sharing that information with the public.

I totally agree eliza3 This is exactly what bugs me . some things are just not necessary to put out there and imo are better off left off of social media. :Nod:

sara11 wrote:

Laudergirl wrote:Reading the article it comes as no surprise that after all of her years of schooling Andi wanted to take some time off, find herself, travel, live in a big city and chase her dreams. I don't blame her one bit, as I think many of us have felt that way. But although I'm happy for her that she now has that opportunity, this article reaffirms my belief that she was not ready to get married or start a family with Josh.  

This is just my opinion, but I think her journey on the Bachelorette was not so much to find love, but to give herself the opportunites to do the traveling, wear the great clothes, and get the recognition and fame, (and monetary rewards) that came with it. I think she surprised herself by falling in love with Josh as hard as she did, and it probably threw a kink into her plan, because he was very serious about getting married and having kids sooner than later, and that wasn't necessarily what she wanted, although I do think she would have eventually, and I definitely think that she wanted it to be with him, just on a different timeline. There were other things she wanted to do first.

Hopefully, Andi will find the success in fashion that she desires. Right now is obviously an exciting time for her in NYC, but that eventually could change and she may tire of the "energy" there and be ready to settle down herself.  I just don't think she would have every been truly happy with any man if she didn't take the opportunities she has now been given to reach for her dreams.

In the meantime, because she wants to focus on herself now and says she's not ready to date again anytime soon, I hope fans will be more understanding of Josh when he does start dating for real, because it could be sooner as he seems to know what he wants in life right now and that is to settle down and start a family with a woman who shares his same values.

ITA with your post. I don't think her love for Josh was fake in any way, nor her motives on the show. She was looking for a husband, but by "husband" she meant a life partner to explore the world with her and after a year or two they would get married and then do some more exploring where 5 or 6 years down the line they would have kids. Somehow I always remember her saying "I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with" - as opposed to constantly saying she was looking for a husband. And as you said Josh's and her timeline just didn't match up. 

It's very clear in this interview that she has gone from one thing to the next without taking time off to find herself and achieve her personal dreams which she is now doing, so good for her. She was in a very long relationship before the bachelorette and it's difficult in that situation to sort of find out exactly who you are when someone else is your focus, because I don't think as a teenager she had to do a lot of self-development due to the environment in which she was brought up - thats not her fault but it just means she has to do it now. I think she'll grow and mature a lot in her time in NYC because it seems as if its the first time she has taken a pause in her life to focus on her own personal development.

I love and agree with your post Sara. I remember on the show Josh knew that she wanted to travel and asked where are some of the places she wanted to go. If you start a family right away that pretty much ends the traveling. So i just think their timing on having a family was different but the love they had was real.

Topazgold wrote:I didn't realize Andi was looking for sympathy, praise, a pass from anyone.  Is it her fault or anyone's fault for that matter that she was born into privilege and/or wealth?  Lord knows I was not but I strive for the best life for myself and don't compare my life or upbringing to anyone else. I have to deal with the hand I was dealt.

I guess I don't get the hostility/disdain some people have towards someone they don't know and will probably never meet.  

Life is a journey.  I wish Andi the best whatever that may be, for her.

I'll get off my soapbox now

No, it's not Andi's "fault" she was born into privilege. To me, it's what she does with it. My childhood was very comfortable. Not Emily type privilege, but my sister and I never went without and were very fortunate. We never had to worry about going to college if we wanted, getting our first car, etc. But, just because my parents were very generous with us, it was also known we couldn't just flit around with no direction. If we stayed at home, we had to contribute or be in school. From the time I was 16, I started working. My parents bought me the car, but I had to pay the gas and insurance. I NEVER once went back to them for money. I ended up not going to college out of HS because I was hired at a place I loved and made great money. I went back to school later, and am working in that profession today. I married early and never went back home. So, to me, Andi is abusing her privilege.

And to address the second bolded, it isn't hostility for me - it's pity. She doesn't seem to have any direction in life and is just floating around until she figures it out. Most people by the time they are close to 30 have figured it out, either from passion in what they do or simply the necessity of having to support yourself. And because Andi CHOOSES to keep her life public, going on two reality TV shows, etc., she is open to public comment - positive and negative. I don't think she is a bad person, just someone who is selfish and has some growing up to do. My advice would be to take the time to figure it out, dig in deep, and get off social media.

Good for Andi, for not settling on a career that she is not happy in....  Too many people live in misery to please the masses and end up in a state of depression and worse....  I am happy for her, I hope she enjoys her time in NY..  But life is strange, Andi may not be looking for love, but love may just find her.....

luvlady345 wrote:Good for Andi, for not settling on a career that she is not happy in....  Too many people live in misery to please the masses and end up in a state of depression and worse....  I am happy for her, I hope she enjoys her time in NY..  But life is strange, Andi may not be looking for love, but love may just find her.....

I agree. So... on point!

In this interview Andi says she's signed a contract to do something Bachelor/Bachelorette fans are going to love.  It has to be relationship based NOT beauty products or fashion for me to "love it"

Thanks Jen for bringing that over.

We will have to wait and see what this job under contract will be. It shows that just because we don't know all the details of what she was doing doesn't mean she wasn't working on things job/career wise.

BIP?
Got to say she looks really pretty.

SueSt wrote:BIP?...

Andi posted a comment on Instagram or twitter (can't remember which one) that she won't be on BIP