Bachelor 19 - Becca Tilly #3

I'm sure Becca wasn't extremely comfortable with bringing up the topic of being a virgin with Chris, plus she didn't know what his reaction might be. Would he head for the hills? I think Becca is falling for him, but was scared it would be a deal breaker in their relationship and therefore the relationship would be over. I don't blame her for waiting until they were in that intimate setting, but I think *wink wink* that Chris knew long before that. Have to keep the storyline going....and going...and going.

Hopefully wrote:K I just went back to B twitter she changed something about where she lived. It use to say she was from Lauisana and is living Sd for now, but she has since changed it to just her home state. And if you look at CS twitter it says in lines of love being out west... Hmmmm

Definitely hmmmm! Please Becca if you are final 1 start dropping the hints. Whoever is final 1 start dropping!!

notarose wrote:
I just listened to the latest BuzzTv recap and one of the commentators said it best.  In real life you don't blurt out you're a virgin instead you wait until a physical situation arises that makes it necessary to clarify.

Exactly. It's very personal information IMO and something one should share on a need-to-know basis. He may have let her go weeks ago in which case it never would've come up, because he wouldn't have needed to know. I'm sure she was nervous about telling him, because it is personal and because it can also be a double-edged sword. She has the right to be loved for who she is like anyone else. Revealing you're a virgin usually has some effect on how love interests view you that has little to do with how you are as a person. Some might be attracted to that specifically and others draw all kinds of hasty conclusions about you that aren't even true. I think it's smart to get to know each other as much as possible first, so it'll have as little effect as possible.

:bigsigh:

mindless wrote:

Pia1 wrote:

ElonM wrote:Becca can represent herself. Look at this twitter exchange.

Dyanna ‏@dyyannajean  
@beccatilley5 its kind of unfair and immature  that you did not tell @C_Soules that you are a virgin. Way to make it hard and awkward.

Becca Tilley@beccatilley5
@dyyannajean @C_Soules you dont think he had an idea after my hometown?? Come on

Way to go Becca! I really don't understand why being a virgin in this society is seen as a bad thing.

I'm honestly baffled by that too. I keep reading people say how she should've told him earlier so he could've made an informed decision about if it's something he wants. I mean what?? She told him before the final decision so he can still decide to go with someone else if he so wishes. I hardly think it's unreasonable to expect him to be looking for love, not three different sex partners to sample in the FS. I also find it ridiculous when maturity is determined by the number of past relationships and sex partners. Some people just wish to save their feelings for one person only. It may not work out, but I don't find anything wrong with the concept. Becca seems like the most level-headed person on the show. She's treating it like a real relationship that's in its early stages. No, it's not what the show expects you to do, but we all know the track record of this show when it comes to marriage, so it's clearly not the best method of finding a long-lasting love. Good for Becca for going at her own pace!  

On the bolded above, I feel like I live in an upside down world. :bigsigh: where having Morals and Standards are now seen as weird and immature and being sexually experienced equals maturity and the norm. I really applaud Becca for having Morals and Standards and standing on them amid enormous Societal pressures.

albean99 wrote:It's not that being a virgin is a bad thing at all but it's not something you keep from someone you're supposed to be falling for imo. She hid a pretty important part of who she is until the last possible moment. On the other side of it, if it's not a big deal why wouldn't she have felt comfortable telling him when there was a chance he'd be meeting her family? I got the feeling she was nervous about his reaction and therefore put it off as long as she could. A little sign of immaturity? Maybe.

Not at all, she is very mature. Why tell him unless you know you are going to stay? it is not a disease, and I don't think it matters when he knew.
Heck, he doesn't need to keep her now, he could still send her home as F3 or ever F2, but he knew in his gut, in his soul, he just can't let Becca go, she is the one he wants

Mommyof1 wrote:I'm sure Becca wasn't extremely comfortable with bringing up the topic of being a virgin with Chris, plus she didn't know what his reaction might be.  Would he head for the hills?  I think Becca is falling for him, but was scared it would be a deal breaker in their relationship and therefore the relationship would be over.  I don't blame her for waiting until they were in that intimate setting, but I think *wink wink* that Chris knew long before that.  Have to keep the storyline going....and going...and going.  

With the hints her family was giving him during HTD,  I'm sure that he suspected something like that. The show made it look like her family was insinuating that she's not an intimate person/frigid when in reality this was their way of telling Chris that she's innocent. I got it as a viewer but unfortunately others took it the wrong way.

Litta123 wrote:This proves nothing; but since we're building an editing case for Becca as F1, I thought I'd share.

I was making screencaps of the RC. After Chris and Becca return, Chris apologizes for making them wait and said he needed to collect his thoughts. Deep breaths, then the "tension music" starts. There are several frames, but gradually, each girl's individual close up is shown before Chris hands out the first rose. First Kaitlyn's close up, then Whitney's followed by Becca's...F3, F2, F1. (or so I believe.)

Certainly this is open to interpretation, but are the editors sharing Chris's thoughts regarding his Final choices, subliminally with their edit? To be determined...2 weeks to go.

Again, I'm really amazed at your powers of observation Litta! Maybe, but I'm a little afraid to trust the edit.

I think she should be with Russal Willson from the Seattle S. he is just a hottie IMO and he has a lot of the same values .. Now that's eye candy yum. I hope that if she is the F1 she walks she's way to good for him. I herd Wilson's in L A tooooo...

Hopefully wrote:I think she should be with Russal Willson from the Seattle S. he is just a hottie IMO and he has a lot of the same values .. Now that's eye candy yum. I hope that if she is the F1 she walks she's way to good for him. I herd Wilson's in L A tooooo...

I don't know what Chris's values are but in my experience it is very important that your spouse have similar values on issues that really matter. I do hope they have similar values, if not that could be a deal breaker in my book.

I was reading on CS twitter and it was about make love west that's what community Oracal said. Well shoot if he said make love one eye open up side down under a hammock in a snow storm would you do it. Lol Oh did I just miss something. Hmm Him and B were in the community village on there date speaking to the elders hmmm. Or did I miss something.

Pia1 wrote:

Litta123 wrote:This proves nothing; but since we're building an editing case for Becca as F1, I thought I'd share.

I was making screencaps of the RC. After Chris and Becca return, Chris apologizes for making them wait and said he needed to collect his thoughts. Deep breaths, then the "tension music" starts. There are several frames, but gradually, each girl's individual close up is shown before Chris hands out the first rose. First Kaitlyn's close up, then Whitney's followed by Becca's...F3, F2, F1. (or so I believe.)

Certainly this is open to interpretation, but are the editors sharing Chris's thoughts regarding his Final choices, subliminally with their edit? To be determined...2 weeks to go.

Again, I'm really amazed at your powers of observation Litta! Maybe, but I'm a little afraid to trust the edit.

Thanks, Pia! I know what you're saying about trusting...ha! but I've decided to go all in with the preview and edit being my basis. Go big or go home!    Why not, it's only a tv show.

I completely understand what happy said the other day. If I'm wrong this season, I might as well throw in the towel on this show because, clearly, I have no idea what TPTB are trying to do.

P.S. Pia, I concur with your statements about Becca and Chris needing to be on the same page with values and beliefs (not just about premarital sex) or I don't see it working out in the long run. Brian Osborne (is that his name from Andi's season?) has frequently spoken highly of Chris. There's probably more to Chris than we've been shown. I'm giving Chris the benefit of the doubt right now because I really haven't been a fan of his. From what I've seen Brian and Becca share similar beliefs...so I'm trusting both their judgments right now regarding Chris.

albean99 wrote:It's not that being a virgin is a bad thing at all but it's not something you keep from someone you're supposed to be falling for imo. She hid a pretty important part of who she is until the last possible moment. On the other side of it, if it's not a big deal why wouldn't she have felt comfortable telling him when there was a chance he'd be meeting her family? I got the feeling she was nervous about his reaction and therefore put it off as long as she could. A little sign of immaturity? Maybe.

See that's the thing, I don't think she necessarily was trying to hid it.  Did she put off telling him, as you put it, to the last possible moment, yes.  But, until she knew she was falling for him and had true feelings, I don't think it was something that she should've shared with him.  I think she had feelings for him, but it wasn't until HTD that she knew for sure what she was actually feeling. She confided, when she felt she needed to.  Would telling him earlier in the day as opposed to in the FS, have made a difference?  

Yes, I think she was nervous about telling him, simply because she had feelings for him and was worried that would be the end, a deal breaker for him.  I can see why she'd be nervous, especially knowing that it would be out for all the world to see, how she told him and his reaction.