Re: Tweets/Facebook Updates - Discussion - Thread #5

[Nativenewyorker]

IMO I don't think it's her.

Me either.

I will third (?) that lol.

He's never said an ill word about his 2.5 year relationship ex. All he said was that she never gave him the reassurance he needed. He never said she cheated on him and he nor any of his family said her name. I get the impression he is on cordial terms with this woman.

Laney is a bitter woman looking for her 15 minutes.
Notice how she posted like 1 picture of them and she said she "blew him off". Sounds like a date or two at most and then never returned his calls.

I don't know when the relationship was. He was in grad school and then in his bio he said he went to Australia for a while by himself.

He said he had a bunch of 2-3 month relationships. I have had alot of those but have never considered them relationships. I would call it dating someone to find out if there is more there. I call it the three month itch. My freshmen year I had 3 of them (do the math I was a busy girl lol) It was probably when he moved from LI to Manhattan and was overwhelmed with the many dating choices. I think the 2.5 year relationship was in his 30's.

ETA: Australia was only 2 months.

I distinctly remember on their second 1-on-1 date in Hong Kong, JP telling Ashley that he cares for his ex and wants her to be happy. He was quite gracious and didn't say anything that would reflect badly on her.

[emusha]

I thought the whole DABA thing is something that Laney and her lawyer friend just made up for publicity and kicks; not like it's an actual club with members who met regularly. And the NYT got snookered into believing it was legitimate and then had to retract the article.

She's obviously a bright woman, but sounds extremely jaded, kind of cold and bitchy, and basically out for a good time and to promote herself. It's a typical NYC type I'm well aware of, from living in Manattan forever myself. She also seems like the type who would be into playing a lot of games with the guys she dates. Fun and exciting, but not the kind of girl you settle down with, not that she couldn't change in a few years (she's 27 I think). From where I'm sitting, JP is far too sweet and sincere a guy for her, but she probably thinks that he found her irresistable and therefore, couldn't possibly be interested in a sweet, less sophisticated girl like Ashley.

Yeah, DABA was just a joke but the two of them really sound like it's their lifestyle. I wonder if they know Julia Allison as they're all of the same ilk. Ugh. Ashley is nothing like that and he's so much better off with her sweet, sensitive, and caring nature than the Julia Allison/Laney types of women who are complete gold diggers and love the games.

OMG Julia Allison is exactly who I thought of when I read this story in the 1st place and IMO that's who these girls were aspiring to be! I totally remember this story when it came out but I'd forgotten the names of the people involved so it didn't even click at first. They sort of want to be Sex & The City next gen and they're kind of about social climbing.

No wonder JP gave Glamour that quote about no more drama!

I definitely have opinions about that whole scene in that it's one I've made sure I steer clear of being a New Yorker. Though I can understand why it might have some initial allure for some people. If JP really said that scene had gotten stale like emusha's saying then I totally get it, I've seen friends go through that whole thing. I always liked JP for being a hometown boy but now suddenly it feels like I understand him even better as far as being able to put things into context LOL. I know that sounds crazy. Ashley's not that kind of girl at all from what we've seen and she'd be so much better for him!

That doesn't sound crazy at all! I think I get him a lot better now -- even though I think he has many layers we haven't yet unpeeled (ala Ames' onion metaphor) e.g. UMich times, Australia months? years? in his life... but one thing is for sure his $6000 price tagged Cartier watch makes a LOT more sense along with his wardrobe particulars though I do think he's truly down to earth and genuine

I'm completely curious now about this whole DABA 'type' girls in NYC -- maybe it may give more context for how JP is like if you all familiar with the NYC scene can tell us a bit more (gotta admit I find it very fascinating to learn about such a sub-culture if u will 8) )

[skitts]

What does DABA stand for?

[mnmhughes]

Might be why he falls so hard and so fast for AShley. She is like no-one he has ever met. After that, she'd be too good to be true.

Aww, that was very sweet! :Nod:

[Guest]

Might be why he falls so hard and so fast for AShley. She is like no-one he has ever met. After that, she'd be too good to be true.

Aww, that was very sweet! :Nod:

LOL...I'm a fence rider.....I may lean toward Ben.....but I likes me some JP!! I hope they will be very happy together!! They suit each other.

[emusha]

What does DABA stand for?

dating a banker anonymous

[cfck2222]

Her parents live in a very wealthy suburb here in Chicago and she's friends with the Lettuce/Melman family that Jed is also friends with so she's around a lot, and I've seriously never heard a kind word about her.

JP is so much better off with a sweet, nerdy girl who doesn't care about his money and jumps around squealing when she's happy. LOL. They're both very lucky to have found each other. :nuzzle:

LOL. I'm shocked about JA's reputation. Not!

That doesn't sound crazy at all! I think I get him a lot better now -- even though I think he has many layers we haven't yet unpeeled (ala Ames' onion metaphor) e.g. UMich times, Australia months? years? in his life... but one thing is for sure his $6000 price tagged Cartier watch makes a LOT more sense along with his wardrobe particulars though I do think he's truly down to earth and genuine

I'm completely curious now about this whole DABA 'type' girls in NYC -- maybe it may give more context for how JP is like if you all familiar with the NYC scene can tell us a bit more (gotta admit I find it very fascinating to learn about such a sub-culture if u will 8) )

Just keep in mind I'm biased, and also I have NO idea whether this woman is typical of the women JP's dated or how significant or insignificant she may've been in his life.

For some people, Manhattan has this allure of sophistication. The high end shopping, the old money families, and so on and so forth. The "scene" starts with some of the younger generation in those old money families, your prototypical socialities. Think Tinsley Mortimer, and people like that - rich, attractive, young, urbane, not currently married. The doings of the socialites are usually part of what makes the New York gossip columns like Page Six in the New York Post. The old money socialites have friends (people they picked up through prep school and maybe college, generally of similar family pedigrees and money) and of course there are also the wannabe friends/hangers on, people who'd like to gain the social status of being in that circle. None of these people are really national celebrities, this is pretty much limited to New York. There's a sense of rarified air in that these people's exploits are deemed worthy of being covered.

That scene interacts with the finance scene in that you have young, wealthy, ambitious guys (it's usually guys) who have good educational pedigrees and of course money to spare, and often a desire for a well connected significant other and somebody respectable who presents well. You can see where the comfort level might be on both ends at least for dating purposes.

There's a 3rd element, the internet: the great equalizer. Ever since Candace Bushnell (author of Sex & The City) got famous, there've been a number of women who've used the internet to document their love lives, daily trials and tribulations in Manhattan to try to get book deals, movie deals, and the career path she's had. Julia Allison's the most "famous" among them. I think she worked for Star magazine (the tabloid) at one point or another but she made more of a name for herself through her blogging about fashion and herself. Was there anything about her that was more interesting than the next person? No. She was a young, attractive, single girl in New York and she was able to talk about her Manhattan life in a way that got people's attention. A LOT of it was negative attention that but that almost raised her status. New York City blogs like Gawker would mock her latest blog but it almost became a badge of honor that people even noticed what she was saying. She actually got enough status to start getting coverage in the same Page Six columns that cover national/international celebrities and New York socialites and I think she managed to worm her way into that whole socialite scene, which gave her access to well connected people (including well connected boyfriends) and even more to write about. Based on the story Laney Crowell and her friends were doing something similar except they came up with this concept of the "hard times" of women dating bankers and blogging about it. The concept is the same in that they all know they're being shallow and vapid but they're also being snarky about their shallowness and vapidity and so that makes it funny and OK. They were able to draw a lot of attention to themselves and again, a lot of it was negative but there was enough attention that there was the possibility of a book and movie deal.

But there's also a coldness and calculation associated with the scene and it's one that chew up and spit out the people who aren't cut out for it. Some people get sucked into the scene because of where they work and who they meet. It can be kind of interesting to be on the outskirts of it and just get a taste of how it works. When you're in your 20s too and you're young, single, and you've got some money in Manhattan - you feel like you ought to be living it up and this scene knows how to live it up.

Let me say this about JP - Roslyn is a very nice town in the suburbs on Long Island and his family seems classy, respectable, and well off. But Roslyn is not Manhattan and JP's public school education would not naturally fit him into this scene. He seems like a little more of a wanderer than the scene would allow. But for an outsider who's grown up close to Manhattan like JP, I could see why he might find a woman from that scene attractive - there's a sort of big city allure, the snarky, cynical humor about life in the big city can be really attractive at first. So I can see where he may have found his way into it but I can also see where he was ready to get out of it and wound up on the B'ette.

[Shelby]

Her parents live in a very wealthy suburb here in Chicago and she's friends with the Lettuce/Melman family that Jed is also friends with so she's around a lot, and I've seriously never heard a kind word about her.

JP is so much better off with a sweet, nerdy girl who doesn't care about his money and jumps around squealing when she's happy. LOL. They're both very lucky to have found each other. :nuzzle:

LOL. I'm shocked about JA's reputation. Not!

That doesn't sound crazy at all! I think I get him a lot better now -- even though I think he has many layers we haven't yet unpeeled (ala Ames' onion metaphor) e.g. UMich times, Australia months? years? in his life... but one thing is for sure his $6000 price tagged Cartier watch makes a LOT more sense along with his wardrobe particulars though I do think he's truly down to earth and genuine

I'm completely curious now about this whole DABA 'type' girls in NYC -- maybe it may give more context for how JP is like if you all familiar with the NYC scene can tell us a bit more (gotta admit I find it very fascinating to learn about such a sub-culture if u will 8) )

Just keep in mind I'm biased, and also I have NO idea whether this woman is typical of the women JP's dated or how significant or insignificant she may've been in his life.

For some people, Manhattan has this allure of sophistication. The high end shopping, the old money families, and so on and so forth. The "scene" starts with some of the younger generation in those old money families, your prototypical socialities. Think Tinsley Mortimer, and people like that - rich, attractive, young, urbane, not currently married. The doings of the socialites are usually part of what makes the New York gossip columns like Page Six in the New York Post. The old money socialites have friends (people they picked up through prep school and maybe college, generally of similar family pedigrees and money) and of course there are also the wannabe friends/hangers on, people who'd like to gain the social status of being in that circle. None of these people are really national celebrities, this is pretty much limited to New York. There's a sense of rarified air in that these people's exploits are deemed worthy of being covered.

That scene interacts with the finance scene in that you have young, wealthy, ambitious guys (it's usually guys) who have good educational pedigrees and of course money to spare, and often a desire for a well connected significant other and somebody respectable who presents well. You can see where the comfort level might be on both ends at least for dating purposes.

There's a 3rd element, the internet: the great equalizer. Ever since Candace Bushnell (author of Sex & The City) got famous, there've been a number of women who've used the internet to document their love lives, daily trials and tribulations in Manhattan to try to get book deals, movie deals, and the career path she's had. Julia Allison's the most "famous" among them. I think she worked for Star magazine (the tabloid) at one point or another but she made more of a name for herself through her blogging about fashion and herself. Was there anything about her that was more interesting than the next person? No. She was a young, attractive, single girl in New York and she was able to talk about her Manhattan life in a way that got people's attention. A LOT of it was negative attention that but that almost raised her status. New York City blogs like Gawker would mock her latest blog but it almost became a badge of honor that people even noticed what she was saying. She actually got enough status to start getting coverage in the same Page Six columns that cover national/international celebrities and New York socialites and I think she managed to worm her way into that whole socialite scene, which gave her access to well connected people (including well connected boyfriends) and even more to write about. Based on the story Laney Crowell and her friends were doing something similar except they came up with this concept of the "hard times" of women dating bankers and blogging about it. The concept is the same in that they all know they're being shallow and vapid but they're also being snarky about their shallowness and vapidity and so that makes it funny and OK. They were able to draw a lot of attention to themselves and again, a lot of it was negative but there was enough attention that there was the possibility of a book and movie deal.

But there's also a coldness and calculation associated with the scene and it's one that chew up and spit out the people who aren't cut out for it. Some people get sucked into the scene because of where they work and who they meet. It can be kind of interesting to be on the outskirts of it and just get a taste of how it works. When you're in your 20s too and you're young, single, and you've got some money in Manhattan - you feel like you ought to be living it up and this scene knows how to live it up.

Let me say this about JP - Roslyn is a very nice town in the suburbs on Long Island and his family seems classy, respectable, and well off. But Roslyn is not Manhattan and JP's public school education would not naturally fit him into this scene. He seems like a little more of a wanderer than the scene would allow. But for an outsider who's grown up close to Manhattan like JP, I could see why he might find a woman from that scene attractive - there's a sort of big city allure, the snarky, cynical humor about life in the big city can be really attractive at first. So I can see where he may have found his way into it but I can also see where he was ready to get out of it and wound up on the B'ette.

good post

however 6 yrs is a long time to mourn

I have no doubt that it took maybe 2-3 yrs to recover but 6 seems very extreme IMO

So saying that he went to B'ette to wound up... I am not sure about that. I think he went as all the guys with an agenda to have fun and maybe promote his business. I truly believe that he was not expecting to fall in love at all.

[mnmhughes]

Same girl from yesterday who talked about fluttering her eyelashes at JP!

Lin McJamm
"Disappointed that I didn't see JP again from the #bachelorette this morn on my commute."

Didn't see him because he's out of town, or because Ash saw your tweet and told him to take a different route?

[Pattycake92]

I thought JP said it had been a year since his last relationship not six.

[emusha]

Thanks so much for sharing that cfck! I think in recent times hollywood is finding this scene extremely alluring with shows like Gossip Girl and cashmere girls? etc. << I guess it all stemmed from sex in the city... and that kind of pursuit for status and attention is becoming more and more visible to the rest of the country... I appreciate your personal take on the sub-culture and find it totally fascinating.

As for our JP -- His comment about a "stale NY dating scene" totally makes sense if he even encountered a few of those Laney types and dated a few of them even for a little bit. He openly admitted he's dated girls only 2-3months in his 20ies (safe to assume he dated a lot?) and I've seen a couple of photos of him at events - so he probably socializes a good amount (wasn't he also said to have dated a girl in PR?) This whole perspective on life and status can definitely jade people and Ashley is anything but jaded (tho she did say this show has exposed her to the negative things about ppl and thus jaded her a bit) -- I can imagine how he can be totally drawn to her and find her extremely relatable especially given how open, honest, real and genuine she seems

remember their exchange at the skating rink " wine in paper cups -- not very classy" and ash said "oh it's fine we're at a skating rink!" she's a lot more low maintenance and he is able to open up to her about his feelings and be vulnerable in a more real way than people like the Laneys would allow given the whole game playing approach they take to 'landing' well endowed guys -- and I'm totally unsurprised that laney would have the things we saw in her tweets to say about him "Oh maybe he's like this cos he falls in love without regard to reality"

[jelle]

I am not sure where the 6 years came from .... that is a long time.

JP has no business to promote. He doesnt own anything or even work anywhere that would benefit from his exposure .... unless you watch TBette and want to renovate a historical building into condos or remodel a gallery.

Fun and possibilities sound logical.

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