Re: Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - Fan Forum - Discussions

[aviej]

If we are using Josh's behavior on the show to judge how he demonstrates his feelings well, it's a mixture of both - being open and being withdrawn. When it came down to the F4 or F5, of all the men, Andi said she was most confused about JOsh because he wasn't as open about his feelings as all the other guys. Once he let go of whatever, he then opened up etc. So I say, Josh being open about his feelings is situational and it can be dependent on his insecurities. He said on the show for a while he wanted to let Andi know how he felt but he was insecure because she was dating other guys etc. Fast track to post show, Josh has been posting things especially when he and Andi were doing well. As soon as things got tough, he reduced his number of posts. Did it mean then when he was quiet all those times that he was done? I don't think so. But in the moment, he wasn't feeling his highest and he didn't feel like putting his negative emotions on display for the world to see. And for me, it does go back in part to the male vs female way of expressing. There is actually research that show that women generally deal with hurt, disappointment etc better than men because they talk out their issues, and are not afraid to show their emotions. Men, generally, tend to keep their emotions more bottled up. I'm not saying it's the case with every man but with the majority. Most married men, when they are in a feud with their wife, do they talk their head off? No. They clam up and stay quiet. Women on the other hand would talk ad nauseum about the issue as it helps us women to resolve things and heal. JMO.

[Guest]

We all interpret what we read, hear or see differently.  The Josh I saw on the Bachelorette in no way hid or buried his feelings - quite the opposite!  I remember reading post after post commenting on his impetuous behavior, explosive temper, no "poker face", talking so fast to share his feelings, etc.  The same things were mentioned after the season aired regarding statements he made in interviews and on SM.  So, which is it?  Is Josh only open & honest when we like his message and hiding his feelings when we don't like his message?

I'm willing to take what Josh has said publicly at face value.  He's working, having fun with his family and leaning on his faith to continue moving forward.  This is the same Josh that existed prior to being on reality tv.

We do interpret things differently, and that's why we have discussion threads. I think there is a difference between being open with feelings like love or pain compared to feelings of happiness or frustration. What I saw on the show and even after with Josh is that he was not able to express his feelings for Andi until his second 1:1 after she nearly forced it out of him. I think he realized he needed to emote if he wanted a chance with her, but it was tough for him because he was feeling vulnerable. Even the other guys in the house said Josh kept those feelings to himself and didn't discuss it like some of the others did.  Once he became more confident about her feelings towards him, he was much more open and verbal with her about how he felt. Especially after the show aired when they appeared to be very confident in their love and he was posting all kinds of cute things.

Josh also doesn't seem to have much of a filter when it comes to other things he's thinking whether it be random thoughts or frustrations. But when it comes to painful things or things he feels vulnerable about, I think he keeps those thoughts to himself.  There is a difference to me, but I can understand how some might not see that difference.

[stuckinsc]

Just my opinion but most men I know stay in touch with exes if they still think their is a chance of something. If they are not interested in being with that person again the don't bother to stay in contact.

To me Josh is making his position of being done with Andi and the relationship perfectly clear. Good for him. I hope he finds his true happiness.

Well we will have to agree to disagree because the ones that I know of did not stay in touch with thier ex's but did get back together.  I am one example of an ex not staying in touch because he was weighing what he really wanted and his feelings.  Then when he knew we got back together.

I am glad it worked out in your case. I just don't see it happening here. Josh is the kind of guy who once his mind is made up isn't looking back. Andi in her own words said their personalities didn't mesh and they didn't feel supported by each other. I don't see Josh going back to that. I think he believes God has a different plan for him. JMO.

[Guest]

If we are using Josh's behavior on the show to judge how he demonstrates his feelings well, it's a mixture of both - being open and being withdrawn. When it came down to the F4 or F5, of all the men, Andi said she was most confused about JOsh because he wasn't as open about his feelings as all the other guys. Once he let go of whatever, he then opened up etc. So I say, Josh being open about his feelings is situational and it can be dependent on his insecurities. He said on the show for a while he wanted to let Andi know how he felt but he was insecure because she was dating other guys etc. Fast track to post show, Josh has been posting things especially when he and Andi were doing well. As soon as things got tough, he reduced his number of posts. Did it mean then when he was quiet all those times that he was done? I don't think so. But in the moment, he wasn't feeling his highest and he didn't feel like putting his negative emotions on display for the world to see. And for me, it does go back in part to the male vs female way of expressing. There is actually research that show that women generally deal with hurt, disappointment etc better than men because they talk out their issues, and are not afraid to show their emotions. Men, generally, tend to keep their emotions more bottled up. I'm not saying it's the case with every man but with the majority. Most married men, when they are in a feud with their wife, do they talk their head off? No. They clam up and stay quiet. Women on the other hand would talk ad nauseum about the issue as it helps us women to resolve things and heal. JMO.

Wow, our posts were literally done at the same time and we are totally on the same page here!

[aviej]

Great minds think alike Laudergirl!

[FLChica]

We all interpret what we read, hear or see differently.  The Josh I saw on the Bachelorette in no way hid or buried his feelings - quite the opposite!  I remember reading post after post commenting on his impetuous behavior, explosive temper, no "poker face", talking so fast to share his feelings, etc.  The same things were mentioned after the season aired regarding statements he made in interviews and on SM.  So, which is it?  Is Josh only open & honest when we like his message and hiding his feelings when we don't like his message?

I'm willing to take what Josh has said publicly at face value.  He's working, having fun with his family and leaning on his faith to continue moving forward.  This is the same Josh that existed prior to being on reality tv.

We do interpret things differently, and that's why we have discussion threads. I think there is a difference between being open with feelings like love or pain compared to feelings of happiness or frustration. What I saw on the show and even after with Josh is that he was not able to express his feelings for Andi until his second 1:1 after she nearly forced it out of him. I think he realized he needed to emote if he wanted a chance with her, but it was tough for him because he was feeling vulnerable. Even the other guys in the house said Josh kept those feelings to himself and didn't discuss it like some of the others did.  Once he became more confident about her feelings towards him, he was much more open and verbal with her about how he felt. Especially after the show aired when they appeared to be very confident in their love and he was posting all kinds of cute things.

Josh also doesn't seem to have much of a filter when it comes to other things he's thinking whether it be random thoughts or frustrations. But when it comes to painful things or things he feels vulnerable about, I think he keeps those thoughts to himself.  There is a difference to me, but I can understand how some might not see that difference.

Why yes indeed, Laudergirl, these are discussion threads!  I do have a firm grasp of the obvious, but I thank you nevertheless for confirming that fact. 

Josh has shown his vulnerable side repeatedly by expressing his deep love for his mother, even though he was chided for being a mama's boy.  

He addressed the fact his fiancee' was intimate with another man on this show and I'm sure we can all agree that was painful. 

Josh talked openly about his inability to succeed in MLB - his lifelong dream - which surely was painful to him.  

Josh has openly professed his faith, even though he was mocked for doing so and for using the #blessed hashtag in his tweets. 

Josh openly expressed his "love" for MeandI - when he had those feelings for her.  

I respect Josh for being a gentleman and not getting into an unsavory game of "he said/she said" on SM.  Actions speak louder than words.

[Linds911]

Here are the photos from Facebook. She says in another post that Josh will be speaking at another Advocare event tonight.

Lauren Goodhart Murray
9 hrs · Tampa, FL ·

What a fun time we had celebrating the ABILITIES and talents of extra special people! Thank you Blane Marable IV for the pictures.

[Guest]

^^^^ Thank you Linds911 for bringing those over! I'm still working on learning how!

[Guest]

We all interpret what we read, hear or see differently.  The Josh I saw on the Bachelorette in no way hid or buried his feelings - quite the opposite!  I remember reading post after post commenting on his impetuous behavior, explosive temper, no "poker face", talking so fast to share his feelings, etc.  The same things were mentioned after the season aired regarding statements he made in interviews and on SM.  So, which is it?  Is Josh only open & honest when we like his message and hiding his feelings when we don't like his message?

I'm willing to take what Josh has said publicly at face value.  He's working, having fun with his family and leaning on his faith to continue moving forward.  This is the same Josh that existed prior to being on reality tv.

We do interpret things differently, and that's why we have discussion threads. I think there is a difference between being open with feelings like love or pain compared to feelings of happiness or frustration. What I saw on the show and even after with Josh is that he was not able to express his feelings for Andi until his second 1:1 after she nearly forced it out of him. I think he realized he needed to emote if he wanted a chance with her, but it was tough for him because he was feeling vulnerable. Even the other guys in the house said Josh kept those feelings to himself and didn't discuss it like some of the others did.  Once he became more confident about her feelings towards him, he was much more open and verbal with her about how he felt. Especially after the show aired when they appeared to be very confident in their love and he was posting all kinds of cute things.

Josh also doesn't seem to have much of a filter when it comes to other things he's thinking whether it be random thoughts or frustrations. But when it comes to painful things or things he feels vulnerable about, I think he keeps those thoughts to himself.  There is a difference to me, but I can understand how some might not see that difference.

Why yes indeed, Laudergirl, these are discussion threads!  I do have a firm grasp of the obvious, but I thank you nevertheless for confirming that fact. 

Josh has shown his vulnerable side repeatedly by expressing his deep love for his mother, even though he was chided for being a mama's boy.  

He addressed the fact his fiancee' was intimate with another man on this show and I'm sure we can all agree that was painful. 

Josh talked openly about his inability to succeed in MLB - his lifelong dream - which surely was painful to him.  

Josh has openly professed his faith, even though he was mocked for doing so and for using the #blessed hashtag in his tweets. 

Josh openly expressed his "love" for MeandI - when he had those feelings for her.  

I respect Josh for being a gentleman and not getting into an unsavory game of "he said/she said" on SM.  Actions speak louder than words.

My above post was never meant to be condescending, if that's how it was taken. I simply was stating that we see things differently, which I think we agree on.

But to your points, I would not consider Josh's love for his mother, his faith, or his love for Andi to be things he found painful, so he was open about those. As far as his baseball career, on the show he never came out and said he felt he failed, simply that it was a very tough life, he missed his family and he lost his passion for the game. Any feelings of failure he may have had, he did not address openly. Same for what happened with Nick at the ATFR, he answered the questions directed at him in interviews but otherwise he did not speak of it. And in one interiew (Reality TV) he stated that it was too personal to discuss. So, I still feel that is consistent with what I said about how he tends to be more private with his feelings when it comes to more painful issues. This is probably not something to be discussed as much on the fan thread, but I'd be happy to continue the conversation in the discussion thread if you're interested.

I do agree with you that Josh has been a gentleman for not getting into a "he said/she said", whether it be in an interview or on SM. There has definitely been negative comments out there specifically blaming him for the heartbreak Andi showed in her interview. I guess some people forget that that was only one side of the story. Josh is taking some heat for it yet still staying quiet, which I respect him for.

[stuckinsc]

Josh was never one to over express on SM especially about himself. I think his tweet expressed what he feels God has a different plan than Andi for him. I hope he finds his love and joy when he is ready.

[aviej]

We do interpret things differently, and that's why we have discussion threads. I think there is a difference between being open with feelings like love or pain compared to feelings of happiness or frustration. What I saw on the show and even after with Josh is that he was not able to express his feelings for Andi until his second 1:1 after she nearly forced it out of him. I think he realized he needed to emote if he wanted a chance with her, but it was tough for him because he was feeling vulnerable. Even the other guys in the house said Josh kept those feelings to himself and didn't discuss it like some of the others did.  Once he became more confident about her feelings towards him, he was much more open and verbal with her about how he felt. Especially after the show aired when they appeared to be very confident in their love and he was posting all kinds of cute things.

Josh also doesn't seem to have much of a filter when it comes to other things he's thinking whether it be random thoughts or frustrations. But when it comes to painful things or things he feels vulnerable about, I think he keeps those thoughts to himself.  There is a difference to me, but I can understand how some might not see that difference.

Why yes indeed, Laudergirl, these are discussion threads!  I do have a firm grasp of the obvious, but I thank you nevertheless for confirming that fact. 

Josh has shown his vulnerable side repeatedly by expressing his deep love for his mother, even though he was chided for being a mama's boy.  

He addressed the fact his fiancee' was intimate with another man on this show and I'm sure we can all agree that was painful. 

Josh talked openly about his inability to succeed in MLB - his lifelong dream - which surely was painful to him.  

Josh has openly professed his faith, even though he was mocked for doing so and for using the #blessed hashtag in his tweets. 

Josh openly expressed his "love" for MeandI - when he had those feelings for her.  

I respect Josh for being a gentleman and not getting into an unsavory game of "he said/she said" on SM.  Actions speak louder than words.

My above post was never meant to be condescending, if that's how it was taken. I simply was stating that we see things differently, which I think we agree on.

But to your points, I would not consider Josh's love for his mother, his faith, or his love for Andi to be things he found painful, so he was open about those. As far as his baseball career, on the show he never came out and said he felt he failed, simply that it was a very tough life, he missed his family and he lost his passion for the game. Any feelings of failure he may have had, he did not address openly. Same for what happened with Nick at the ATFR, he answered the questions directed at him in interviews but otherwise he did not speak of it. And in one interiew (Reality TV) he stated that it was too personal to discuss. So, I still feel that is consistent with what I said about how he tends to be more private with his feelings when it comes to more painful issues. This is probably not something to be discussed as much on the fan thread, but I'd be happy to continue the conversation in the discussion thread if you're interested.

I do agree with you that Josh has been a gentleman for not getting into a "he said/she said", whether it be in an interview or on SM. There has definitely been negative comments out there specifically blaming him for the heartbreak Andi showed in her interview. I guess some people forget that that was only one side of the story. Josh is taking some heat for it yet still staying quiet, which I respect him for.

[AnandaMarie]

I agree with what you have said Laudergirl, aviej and Nannymargie. I do think that men hold their feelings in a lot more and I do think that he is just as hurt as Andi is but he chooses to not express in social media for the world to see. Andi said that there was sadness and hurt between them so clearly he is hurt. Laudergirl, I especially agree with your point when you say that he expresses the happy emotions but keeps the sad painful emotions to himself. That's what he seems to be doing right now. Obviously none of us know of what will happen in the future and Andi and Josh probably don't know either. The emotions are very raw right now. I don't think Josh knows what God's plan for him is right now either. I do feel that while God has a plan for everyone, he also gives us free will and requires us to make some effort too.

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