Re: Married At First Sight - Season 1 - General Discussion - **Spoilers** Thread #2

[GuardianAngel]

Vaughn spent 11 years in the military as an avionics technician and was working as a technician. He moved in with Monet and had a longer commute because of the move. I think he has a good career.

They may have had different expectations, but I like Vaughn. What guy doesn't like his partner to cook. I think they put too much emphasis on the whole cooking thing, especially since Monet doesn't cook. Some women like to be responsible for the cleaning and cooking while their partners look after other chores in the household.

These two didn't have anything in common as far as finding the right partner IMO.

[Lovedaddio]

Monet and Vaughn had different expectations, IMO.
Monet is a strong, independent woman who was looking for a partner. She wanted someone who she could respect, and look up to, like her dad. What she got was a nice looking guy who wanted to be taken care of and have his ego fed. To her, that's being immature. Vaughn seems to be a few steps behind Monet in terms of a job, independence, and feeling secure. She was not able to fall in love with Vaughn because she did not see him as an equal partner. She felt she was getting a child and a chauvinist (expecting cooking). Vaughn needed to figure himself out. He can't have it both ways.

This show was edited and it wasn't made clear if Vaughn had a real job (f-time), or if was just getting by, working some weekends. If he had extra time on his hands, HE should have cooked, instead of expecting Monet to come home "and take care of him". This relationship was not equal. IMO, Monet was the breadwinner and was expected to be a traditional wife at home....cooking and cleaning...She didn't need Vaughn. That rubbed him the wrong way. Sometimes independent women can appear to be "maneaters", esp if a guy has a fragile ego. It takes a very secure guy to not to feel threatened by a strong woman, and women of Monet's nature needs a mature partner they can respect.

Most if not All men like to have their egos fed and have the woman NEED them, even if they deny it.
Monet needs a professional man who can pull his weight, and be a partner, so she can willingly do traditional things.
Vaughn needs someone a little more needy, and to feed his ego.

I thought both were attractive, so I cannot comment on the chemistry part.

Ariela, you make some very keen observations of Monet and Vaughn's interaction. To clear up a couple of points you mentioned, Vaughn does have a full time job. He works in IT in South Jersey. He also is in the Air Force Reserve after having served for 11 years on active duty so I don't think is independence is in question. He seems to be doing well for himself on that front. Yes, as I had posted previously Monet, is a very strong and independent woman. My issue with her was that, instead of building a new life together as the other couples did, Monet wanted to fit Vaughn into her nice little comfortable life as it currently exists. To me, the fact that Monet did not want to look for a new apartment made me look at her a bit sideways as to her true level of commitment to this experiment. No one said she had to leave Uptown, but the fact that Jamie/Doug and Jamie/Courtney who all had their own places, (except for Doug who was living at home), decided they wanted to begin their new lives together in a new place spoke volumes. Vaughn did make a huge sacrifice for her and I never got the feeling that she truly appreciated what he did to make her life easier and he never got over that.

Yes, Vaughn is very old school and has very traditional views about marriage. And by the way, traditional doesn't have to mean chauvinistic. Expectations are never wrong, they might be unrealistic but you're entitled to want what you feel makes you happy. Nothing wrong with Vaughn wanting a woman who will cook for him and take care of him. I'm pretty sure that's the environment he grew up in. Not all that dissimilar from how Monet wants a man's man who reminds her of her Dad. Monet said she wanted an alpha make and in many ways Vaughn is exactly that. But Monet is an alpha female and it is inevitable that at some point their strong wills will clash. Monet like a lot of women need to understand that you have to let a man be a man. Women are doing their thing these days. The sky's the limit and no door is closed to them. Some guys just have a hard time getting used to that. Women have broken the mold of the woman who cooked, cleaned and took care of home which I think is awesome. Women shouldn't feel restricted to those roles whatsoever. But through all this, things haven't changed much for us guys so some men struggle with this changing landscape cause its light years from how they grew up. This is something Vaughn struggles with mightily.

I have a good friend who is a bank president, high powered, a true alpha female. She makes more than twice what her husband makes. He's a Vaughn type, very traditional. But they are so ridiculously in love it makes me want to puke sometimes (not really, just jealous...). She recognized his need to be taken care of, he recognized her independence and strong personality and they compromised to make it work. She cooks every night, he fixes and builds stuff (he's a construction contractor). She said it was a little difficult at first but now she loves it because she can take off her president cap and just be a Mom at home. OMG, I didn't realize my rant had turned into a novel. I guess I'm just saying that had they BOTH (not just Vaughn), been willing to compromise, they might have had a chance. Perhaps they never would've gotten to the point of mentioning a ménage a trois or just "being civil". Unfortunately they both wanted the other to acquiesce to their lifestyle instead of compromising.

P.S. I will say I didn't like how Vaughn expected praise for doing things he should've done anyway. My wife wouldn't even have to say thank you for picking her up from the doctor's office because that's a no-brainer. And Ariela, your first sentence really summed up their whole experience together. They had completely different expectations.

[mom22boys]

Will anyone be live posting for the finale tonight? Like many others, I don't get FYI so I have to watch the next day on Hulu.
Thanks in advance!

[albean99]

I wouldn't have wanted a guy who expected me to do all the cooking although I did do most of it until the last few years. It just worked out that way. My dh does all the outside work & repairs inside although these days he's doing more cooking. What we have and what M/V could have done if they'd wanted to try, is a partnership where we divide up the chores. I just don't think they felt it with each other and therefore didn't make as much of an effort as the others did. They may have been perfect on paper but their personalities seemed to clash.

I'm looking forward to the show tonight. So I guess it's an hour of what they didn't show us and a reunion for the other hour?

[Lovedaddio]

I wouldn't have wanted a guy who expected me to do all the cooking although I did do most of it until the last few years. It just worked out that way. My dh does all the outside work & repairs inside although these days he's doing more cooking. What we have and what M/V could have done if they'd wanted to try, is a partnership where we divide up the chores. I just don't think they felt it with each other and therefore didn't make as much of an effort as the others did. They may have been perfect on paper but their personalities seemed to clash.

I'm looking forward to the show tonight. So I guess it's an hour of what they didn't show us and a reunion for the other hour?

After having gone back and re-watched most of the episodes I'm not sure I could say Monet and Vaughn were a perfect match on paper. Seems to me there were glaring differences between them that should've been obvious to the experts. I would love it if they'd do an experts only show that gives us background as to how they came to match these 6 people up and did they themselves see any potential red flags.

[GuardianAngel]

When my son was young, and I was commuting to work, I'd make up a bunch of meals on the weekend and freeze them. In the mornings before work I would put a meal in the oven and set the timer, or I'd use a crock pot. Cooking for the family doesn't have to be a chore if you're organized. I have friends whose husbands, love to cook and they do all the cooking.

Like bean says, it's a matter of dividing the chores to help each other. When it becomes a "chore" then there are problems.

I'm not sure what the reunion will consist of but I hope those that can watch will live post here tonight!

[lorijbaker]

There is an awesome preview on FYI Facebook page, I'm not sure how to link it here. It shows the love between Doug and Jamie… so fun to see how they really fell in love even though it was rough at first.

[Litta123]

^^Reunion Show Sneak Peek

[atem]

Will anyone be live posting for the finale tonight? Like many others, I don't get FYI so I have to watch the next day on Hulu.
Thanks in advance!

I plan to!

[Beeleever]

I wouldn't have wanted a guy who expected me to do all the cooking although I did do most of it until the last few years. It just worked out that way. My dh does all the outside work & repairs inside although these days he's doing more cooking. What we have and what M/V could have done if they'd wanted to try, is a partnership where we divide up the chores. I just don't think they felt it with each other and therefore didn't make as much of an effort as the others did. They may have been perfect on paper but their personalities seemed to clash.

I'm looking forward to the show tonight. So I guess it's an hour of what they didn't show us and a reunion for the other hour?

After having gone back and re-watched most of the episodes I'm not sure I could say Monet and Vaughn were a perfect match on paper. Seems to me there were glaring differences between them that should've been obvious to the experts. I would love it if they'd do an experts only show that gives us background as to how they came to match these 6 people up and did they themselves see any potential red flags.

I disagree with this. I've been told from the lens of Dr. C, how extensive the evaluations and interviews were. As far as what they put down on paper, Monet and Vaughn were highly compatible. Monet admitted that even she didn't realize that what she thought she wanted, did not mesh with what that looked like IRL. No man wants to feel from the get go that he does not measure up. Vaughn was never looked at for what great qualities he brought to the marriage, only constantly reminded of what he was lacking. I don't blame Vaughn for shutting down. Like he said, what's the point? Would any of us thrive in that situation?

BTW...I did an interview with Dr. C that I'll be posting tomorrow. It is general and not specific to each couple, but it is VERY insightful as to what they went through to match these couples. And they do take Monet and Vaughn's choice to divorce very seriously.

[GuardianAngel]

^^Reunion Show Sneak Peek

Thanks Litta!!! Jamie and Doug brought tears to my eyes! Jamie and Cortney look fabulous.

Monet just bugs me.

[mom22boys]

Will anyone be live posting for the finale tonight? Like many others, I don't get FYI so I have to watch the next day on Hulu.
Thanks in advance!

I plan to!  

Thank you Atem!!!

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