Re: Episode 7 - 7/11 - Discussion - Spoilers

by Nativenewyorker Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:47 am

sjcaligurl wrote:
Nativenewyorker wrote:More thoughts on JP in tonight's episode. You could see that JP was already tense and wound up too tight even before anything started. It was like he kind of sensed that he would be almost at the breaking point, just anticipating more 1-on-1 dates with the guys. He was totally ready for this whole thing to be over. He was trying to keep it inside and not talk to the guys, but they sensed the tension in him. Keep in mind, this was all before Dino's 1-on-1 and especially Ben's.

My other observation is that if there was something really concerning about JP, something that would indicate the jealousy and possessiveness that some have been trying to read into him for weeks, we would have heard about it by now from someone who knew him or an ex-girlfriend. If there is something bad, it always seems to come out.

Sometimes it's really not that complicated. JP freaked out after a lot of emotions built up inside him. I actually thought this was going to happen. That date in Hong Kong just seemed to intensify JP's feelings for Ashley. It was building to a crescendo and how do you let off steam in this kind of situation? It's not like JP can go on the internet, use his cell phone, call a friend or family, watch tv. He has to just sit there and let his mind imagine all sorts of things.

Everyone deals with the pressure cooker that is this show in their own way. Also, it's obvious that JP is the one who is the most emotionally invested now. I remember when I fell in love with my husband when we were dating. It was like there weren't enough hours in the day for us. We didn't want to be apart for even an hour. It's such a dizzying feeling when you realize that this is the one. If either of us had been in a situation even remotely like this one, I think we would not have behaved nearly as well as JP!

I agree and no way is necessarily right or wrong if they all end up in the top 4. JP is the most emotionally invested but then he was one of the most assertive outside of Ryan. I think he's gotten the biggest payoff as far as attention/affection from Ashley. He really hung on as long as he could without reacting too strongly to the other guys. He did let her know in episode 5 that he was starting to feel the sting of her going out with Ben. I think he's been the clearest about his intentions. I think he's taken the most risk.

Ben is pretty invested too but Ashley has had to put a whole lot of effort into drawing him out and making him feel comfortable. Kinda blows Blake's theory that being kinda shy is a disadvantage. If she likes you, she will seek you out unless you really don't respond. Something is still off with him to me though. Maybe we will find out a secret on his HTD.

Ames is an interesting guy who talks in riddles. He was right that he rationalized his relationship with her and now he was feeling it. I'm just not getting a real vibe or sense of chemistry between them even though I think he's a great guy. I cannot imagine him being terribly emotional when he gets cut but he does seem to be getting a wee bit more invested.

I don't think Constantine is anywhere close to being ready to settle down. He's nice to look at but she's not passionate about him. He's someone she can have a great time with on the FD and let go without it being a big drain. Whatever issues he was having finding a steady girl before is probably still present. He hasn't put a whole lot into her and I think she likes the comfort of that. She doesn't have to worry about him mauling her or looking for something. Maybe he'll make his mom happy and get a real girlfriend once the show ends as I think he's still scared of whatever it is was making him sabotage relationships in the past. If he sees her with Ben and JP, he can see the reward of letting go.

I think Lucas ought to be able to find some woman to club over the head and drag home. Maybe Ryan will see what Ashley meant by physical chemistry and why they didn't have it.

I love your comments in bold! Totally agree! I well remember the time when he was debating whether to take that big of a risk and let himself become even more emotionally involved, while being aware that he doesn't know what is going on inside her head. He said that in Phuket after the group date at the orphanage and also after the now famous "kissing in the rain" scene. I said at the time that I would be interested to see how he dealt with that dilemma. He did what I thought he would - he just went for it, jumped right in with his heart and held nothing back. Now he is dealing with the consequences of that. It was brave, but it has also become painful.

I also agree with your respective assessments of Ben, Dino and Ames. Really nothing more to add! yes

by Nativenewyorker Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:49 am

Oh, forgot to add that I agree with the comments about both Lucas and Ryan.

I kind of cringed watching Ryan come out of his denial or whatever it was. I guess now he will realize there was a reason why the other guys all got their dates, and even second ones, before him.

by sjcaligurl Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:59 am

happyntexas wrote:I'm also kind of curious. And some may dislike me for saying this? But, am I the only one that seen a WTH?? moment in her eyes when she was 1:1 with JP discussing his jealousy and her asking him if he is taking it out on anybody?

Of course, he soothed it over and all was good. But, I wasn't getting the whole "I'm so happy your jealous and into me" moment. I got the other vibe.

I like both these guys. Either one could win and I'd be a happy camper. So, I try to look objectively. So, I wondered if I am the only one that noticed the slight shock for a moment before everything went okay again.

Maybe producers said something to her or maybe she's experienced an angry jealous man in the past. I think she was surprised because he always seems so confident and she saw a chink in his armor. He was pouting but the guys were antagonizing him too. He did the right thing by getting out of the room for a while to clear his head. I don't know if Ben was going to give a blow by blow of their date but JP certainly didn't want to risk hearing it.He didn't STORM out, though. I don't think she was happy he was jealous either. I think she was happy that he felt so comfortable telling her exactly how terrible and horrible his week was and all of the reasons why it was so bad. They have quite a bit of trust between them.

I'd be happy with either Ben or JP but I just don't want to see either of them be rejected. JP would fall apart and i think Ben would sink back into whatever that place he's been hiding in for the past few years.

by Guest Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:01 am

JP and Ben are wonderful men, however JP is the sexiest man I've ever seen on any of these shows. He is to die for! He is also hilarious, charming, very bright and accomplished. OK, now my left leg is shaking. So, of course I want Ashley to pick JP. However, I feel I'm being "fooled" in to thinking it is JP who is the last man standing. There are a few clues that point to Ben tonight, besides Ashley saying she LOVES Ben! (That's a big clue!) Ashley told Constantine that he had the "look" that she is in to. Well Constantine and Ben look quite a bit alike. Bentley also had that look. Tall, dark and moppy. JP looks nothing like those big, hairy boys!
Also, so little of the date with Ben was shown - what did we miss? I think they are trying to hide that growing love story, so we'll be shocked in the end and so mad it wasn't JP. Therefore, we'll watch JP be the next Bachelor. Seriously, there was a pool there, an overnight date, breakfast - and all we saw was a little scooter ride, lots of scenery and a little bit of chat with some awkward platonic looking smacking sounding kisses?
Something is fishy with this editing! I wonder if we are all being fooled once again.
As for JP and his jealousy, maybe it is my age, but I truly believe that healthy jealousy as JP showed is very important to a relationship. The opposite of that kind of loving jealousy is indifference - and that is very hard to get past in a relationship. If you are falling in love and have to watch other great men date the woman you feel is meant to be with you - it has to be extremely difficult. And as a woman who has felt both emotions from men, I will take loving jealousy over indifference any day. All it really means is that JP cares, a lot.
Thoughts on these observations?

by sjcaligurl Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:06 am

Look at what Wes Hayden had to say about tonight's antics. Guess this is why he's still single:

wesleyhayden
Are there any guys on the bachelorette that arnt neutered?? Holy $#!+, grow some sack!!

by Nativenewyorker Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:06 am

Diana wrote:I agree that JP is the one who is the most emotionally invested now. Hope he dosen't end up getting heart broken again

I agree and am also worried for him. They are both great guys and are deserving of being the final two.

The preview of JP's HTD with his mother expressing her concern about him getting his heart broken the way he did before, kind of mirrored my thoughts. He has fallen so hard for her and if he got upset over the dates and the kissing, what will happen if he isn't F1?

I was touched by her love for her son and wanting to be protective of him.

Then again, this is apparently the first time Ben has been able to open up since his father died.

Both of these guys have some past issues. I just hope this all works out for the best.

by Love_Me Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:09 am

The way a lot of people feel about JP here is how I feel about Ben. Different strokes for different folks. That is a good thing. We should all be able to express our opinions at this site and not be ripped to shreds if those observations are different from one another.

by sjcaligurl Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:32 am

Love_Me wrote:The way a lot of people feel about JP here is how I feel about Ben. Different strokes for different folks. That is a good thing. We should all be able to express our opinions at this site and not be ripped to shreds if those observations are different from one another.

I really like JP and bought into the spoiler of him being F1. I think he'd be really good for her. BUT, I'm starting to see a shift of sorts. He's really falling pretty hard and putting a lot into her hands and he's starting to lose a bit of his confidence. She was very compassionate with him in this episode where in the last one he was with her. If she is always looking for him to be the strong one or the one taking the lead, I'm not sure that's going to be the dynamic as they grow together.

With Ben, we see him blossoming and becoming more open with her. He just seems so nice and sweet. I loved when they had their first date walking through the market and she was admiring the robe and he said he'd love to get it for her. Then he wanted to hold the bag so that she could have her hand free to hold his hand. Tonight, he fastened her helmet for her. I'm not sure she's used to that kind of thoughtfulness. He seems to want to take care of her and that's one thing I really like about him. I think she could get used to it.

by Guest Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:48 am

KarmaGirl wrote:JP and Ben are wonderful men, however JP is the sexiest man I've ever seen on any of these shows. He is to die for! He is also hilarious, charming, very bright and accomplished. OK, now my left leg is shaking. So, of course I want Ashley to pick JP. However, I feel I'm being "fooled" in to thinking it is JP who is the last man standing. There are a few clues that point to Ben tonight, besides Ashley saying she LOVES Ben! (That's a big clue!) Ashley told Constantine that he had the "look" that she is in to. Well Constantine and Ben look quite a bit alike. Bentley also had that look. Tall, dark and moppy. JP looks nothing like those big, hairy boys!
Also, so little of the date with Ben was shown - what did we miss? I think they are trying to hide that growing love story, so we'll be shocked in the end and so mad it wasn't JP. Therefore, we'll watch JP be the next Bachelor. Seriously, there was a pool there, an overnight date, breakfast - and all we saw was a little scooter ride, lots of scenery and a little bit of chat with some awkward platonic looking smacking sounding kisses?
Something is fishy with this editing! I wonder if we are all being fooled once again.
As for JP and his jealousy, maybe it is my age, but I truly believe that healthy jealousy as JP showed is very important to a relationship. The opposite of that kind of loving jealousy is indifference - and that is very hard to get past in a relationship. If you are falling in love and have to watch other great men date the woman you feel is meant to be with you - it has to be extremely difficult. And as a woman who has felt both emotions from men, I will take loving jealousy over indifference any day. All it really means is that JP cares, a lot.
Thoughts on these observations?

I totally agree with everything you said. I love both guys, but I see a swing Ben's way.

I do, however, think Ben suits her personality more. I know there were several pictures posted of their date and some looked interesting or could have been interesting. But, we just see a chopped up date. She has said she feels an emotional connection to Ben. And tonight she said, that she wants the physical and emotional. I've seen some hot, sexy kisses with JP, but not too much beyond that. Although it could be on the editing room floor. There is a lot going on with both guys that we are not seeing. She wants a total package. She has called both a total package. So, I'm still sitting on my fence watching these posts and listening for clues. LOL

by Guest Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:53 am

Love_Me wrote:The way a lot of people feel about JP here is how I feel about Ben. Different strokes for different folks. That is a good thing. We should all be able to express our opinions at this site and not be ripped to shreds if those observations are different from one another.

:thanki:

by causingchaos Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:16 am

I thought JP's jealousy was fine. The possessiveness made me more uncomfortable. And the pouting was a complete and total turn off if the other 2 issues didn't already turn me off.

It's natural to become jealous and pout in that kind of pressure cooker and you can really see the different personalities of the guys come out in those situations. Like she said he's not as cool as he implied he was in the past apparently.

I get back to the reality that they all know that this is "dating" and not a monogamous relationship throughout the duration of this show. It struck me at that point that JP may be one of those people who doesn't "date" but meets a girl and it becomes insta-relationship so the lack of monogamy and dating multiple people at the same time might be foreign to him completely. My own personal bias is that I don't particularly like being with guys like that.

I don't find jealousy and possessiveness attractive and I don't find pouting attractive either and all those took JP down a few notches in my book for my own personal aesthetic. He just wouldn't be the sort of guy I would choose as I need to have my own life outside of someone and he doesn't feel like that kind of guy.

by JBF Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:25 am

Beeleever wrote:
jelle wrote:
JBF wrote:
JBanana wrote:
jelle wrote:The crab lamp was at the Rosenbaum's house ????? :missclap: No wonder we couldnt find it

shucks, I guess that hour and a half I spent today looking at fiji resort rooms really was a waste of time, then.

You all saw it? I must have missed it.

Someone else said they saw that darn lamp ..... I just watched ..... I didnt see the lamp ..... anyone else see it?

Jelle...it wasn't the lamp. It was JP's clothes and hair that were the same as the PI with the lamp! I was slo-moing that preview to death until Kasha posted it wasn't the lamp.

... and we all know how he wears the same clothes all the time... two shirts repeated in Taiwan that were worn in Phuket.

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