Elan Gale (Producer) & Molly Quinn - Discussion

A lot of people ask me “are you still sober?”

It’s actually a really fair question. Most people don’t do anything for very long. And I think what they think when they’re asking the question is “Obviously your problem is something you can control, so obviously it’s not a problem anymore.”

To some people who have given up drinking or drugs, that may seem like a silly point to make. But, to me, it makes perfect sense:

That’s actually what I struggle with most these days. The thrill of quitting is gone. The excitement of “doing it by not doing it” is out the window. I hit my week, and I hit my month, and a hit my year, and now there’s just this endless looming forever staring back at me.

It’s hard to remember why you quit sometimes. And it feels ridiculous to be so dogmatic. Am I really worried that a glass of wine is going to change me back into who I used to be? Of course not. Do I think I can control myself? I do.

But that’s not the point for me. At least not now.

I keep alcohol in my house, always. My friends drink here. I go to bars. I don’t want to hide. I want to be in the world and I want to change myself and not pretend the world is different from what it is. I don’t want to pretend alcohol is bad. Alcohol is fine. In fact, I think it’s pretty great. I’m just really, really good at drinking it, which, in turn, is bad.

Could I have a glass of wine right now? Of course.

Would I be okay? I think so.

But again, those aren’t the question I ask myself. The question I ask myself is “do I need to?”

Am I better off in any way? Does it help me? Does it help others? Will I improve? The answer, at least for me, is pretty clearly no.

I think it’s fair to guess that most people reading this aren’t sober. Most people have a pretty health relationship with alcohol, at least as far as I can tell. But that doesn’t mean that this thought process doesn’t apply. In fact, since I’ve gotten sober, I’ve been applying this template to as many things as I can.

Do I want to do something?

Would I be ok?

Would I enjoy it?

Almost always, the answer to these questions is YES.

But then when I ask myself “Do I need this?” the answer is usually PROBABLY NOT.

I haven’t had a drink in 430 days. It’s boring sometimes. It’s boring most of the time. But, being dead would (probably) have been even more boring. And now I have to learn new ways to interest myself. All the time. Every day.

When people ask me if quitting drinking gets easier, I try to be honest and tell them that it doesn’t get easier. At least not for me. But everything else becomes more interesting, more challenging, more frustrating, but then in certain moments, unbelievably beautiful.

I love being there for every minute of my life, even when I don’t want to be.

elan gale ‏@theyearofelan 23m23 minutes ago
elan gale retweeted Note to Self
So I did a very interesting podcast with @WNYC called Note To Self and if you want to listen to it click the link

   
Note to Self ‏@NoteToSelf 44m44 minutes ago
You can learn a lot about relationships, privacy, and pure disgust from the texts people send to their exes. http://www.wnyc.org/story/texts-from-your-ex-elan-gale/ …

J.P. Rosenbaum ‏@JP_Rosenbaum 2m2 minutes ago
Never been more excited to go to the bathroom! Thanks @theyearofelan. People, buy this! http://amzn.to/1N8gnEq

elan gale ‏@theyearofelan Oct 21
Before you judge me try walking a mile in my shoes so you can see how little I care and how good it feels to be a mile away from you