Tenley Molzahn Leopold & Taylor Leopold - Bachelor 13 - Discussion

People who have affairs often do it again. Someone I know had their wife do it to him and then she married the guy (who was also married). Surprise surprise, he did it again to her.

It's up to everyone to make their own mind on this. I don't see how anyone can say that Tenley should look past that. JMO

Bottom line, we don't really know why Tenley decided she wasn't romantically interested in JJ...  just that she's not and that she's his friend.  Maybe it's because she won't date someone who has cheated in the past, maybe it's because he isn't religious enough for her (he doesn't seem particularly religious), maybe she just wasn't attracted to him, etc. All of those reasons are plenty legit, IMO.

albean99 wrote:People who have affairs often do it again. Someone I know had their wife do it to him and then she married the guy (who was also married). Surprise surprise, he did it again to her.

It's up to everyone to make their own mind on this. I don't see how anyone can say that Tenley should look past that. JMO

Not all people who cheat do it again that is not a fact. I have known plenty of woman and men that have cheated and worked their relationship out. JMO I am glad that Tenley is friends with JJ and hope that he does by now realize that they will only be friends.

I will always believe people have the ability to change, if they want to. That has to do with good going to bad and vice versa. 
So I don't adhere to once a cheater always a cheater. To me, that is another generalization that does not have to be true.

albean99 wrote:People who have affairs often do it again. Someone I know had their wife do it to him and then she married the guy (who was also married). Surprise surprise, he did it again to her.

It's up to everyone to make their own mind on this. I don't see how anyone can say that Tenley should look past that. JMO

IA. While there are some who cheat and never do it again, more often than not, a person who had an affair will do it again. Sure some people can change, but it's hard for a leopard to change its spots. So I don't blame Tenley on this score if this is one of the reasons she doesn't want to date JJ.

Gale1 wrote:

whit90 wrote:

Alanna wrote:
Oh and JJ? The hero who cheated on his pregnant wife?? That's the last thing she or any woman in this world needs ever for any reason imo.

Many man cheat on their wife even pregnant ones. That does not mean he can't find love again. JJ seems to be a great guy and a great father. We all have regrets in our lives especially when we do not know the facts. JMO

My thoughts exactly on this. Lots say that they would never make that mistake & then years down the line do so & wish to be forgiven for their bad judgement - it could be you or me!! So I am all for forgiveness in life!!

I am all for forgiveness, too. But that doesn't mean someone needs to stay in a marriage and if they don't that means they don't forgive. Sometimes some things are not worth forgetting and building on - especially when trust is broken and is very, very hard to restore.

And sorry, I don't see cheating as a "mistake" like it was an accident or something. It's a choice to cheat. A choice with consequences. And some of those consequences come with people not wanting to date someone who had an affair while his wife was pregnant.

I totally respect and understand if that is the case with regards to Tenley. Sure JJ "may" have changed, but past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior, especially when it comes to relationships such as marriage.

Out of curiosity, did he cheat after/again?

I think they probably separated right away, since he cheated about 3 years ago and their divorce was finalized about 2 years ago. I don't think he's been in a long-term relationship since then, if I remember an interview he did correctly. From the way he talked about it, it seemed like an affair, not a one-time thing, but I'm not sure.

He's going to be guest hosting a Bachelor podcast next week, so maybe we'll get an update on his life!

My point is that it's Tenley's choice who she wants to date and I wouldn't blame her if she doesn't want to date someone who admitted cheating. Of course not everyone will cheat again but some do and I'm not sure I'd be willing to give them a 2nd chance if it were me.

^ Fair, but we don't know what the reason for her not dating him is. It could be anything really. JJ's just the closest guy she's been with since Kiptyn, even as friends. Where are all the other guys in this world/not flocking to her? Still baffles me. She's pretty. I just dont think she puts herself out there enough. Same with Becca. Pretty girls who just hope this franchise will set them up .

albean99 wrote:My point is that it's Tenley's choice who she wants to date and I wouldn't blame her if she doesn't want to date someone who admitted cheating. Of course not everyone will cheat again but some do and I'm not sure I'd be willing to give them a 2nd chance if it were me.

I agree with this post.

Just to add, I think as much as those who have affairs can be demonized, those who choose not to stay married to them can be demonized if seen as "not forgiving" if they don't want to stay married. But not staying married does not equal not forgiving, imo. Forgiveness is about letting go of hurts and moving on. And sometimes that means moving on without the other person.

For Tenley, I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't want to date someone who has had an affair and don't blame her one bit if she doesn't, no matter how "changed" they are. And as much as they seem friends, I don't think JJ shares her faith enough for her to want to be in a longterm relationship with. She said she already compromised on that in that past and won't do so again. I can respect that.

How about this scenario.  Tenley's friendship with JJ gives her a reason to continue to visit Denver which keeps her in striking distance of Ben.  Some fantasies die hard.   JK and JMO/humor