Blake & Holly Julian - Bachelor Pad - Discussion

As someone who has struggled with fertility for the past 5+ years, lost two babies, and still has empty arms (but a full heart)...my heart breaks for them. It is a horrifying experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

leselihau So sorry to hear that.

That's why I mentioned it. I have friends who have gone through that. It was difficult for me because there wasn't anything I could do other than provide encouragement. They ended up adopting.

leselihau, I am sorry for your pain. I also can't biologically have my own children. I give the love in my heart to others, but it took a long time to accept the reality. Lots of advances in fertility have been made, so hopefully you and Holly and others who struggle and really want their own biological child can be blessed. My prayers for all of you.

I struggled for 3 years with infertility and then had children. I can still remember the pain even though my oldest is 31 yrs old. Prayer and acceptance helped me deal. To end on a positive note--just heard about a friend who is pregnant after almost 20 years of off and on infertility treatments! She is 44 and expecting! I am so excited for them.
I hope Holly and Blake are in a good place and will be blessed soon.

GA....it is a very lonely experience when you're in the midst of it. You don't want to tell anyone because you feel like there's something wrong with you...and yet, you want to scream it from the rooftops because you need love and support. There's honestly nothing anyone can do other than just be supportive. Love them through it is my favorite phrase. Listen when they talk, don't judge, be sensitive. And my #1 piece of advice I tell to everyone when someone they know/love has gone through a miscarriage or stillbirth...do not...let me repeat that DO NOT tell them about every other person you know that's experienced infant loss and gone on to have healthy babies. After about the hundredth time I completely snapped on a very dear friend of mine. Literally just WENT OFF on her. (Thank goodness she forgave me.) The bottom line is that while that's very nice for those other people you know...it brings ZERO comfort to the person who just lost that VERY REAL baby to them. And for every person you tell me that's gone on to have healthy babies later I can tell you the names of many others who didn't have that same experience (myself included). Good for them on the adoption...there are so many children who need loving parents and families. The process of adoption is often times as much of a struggle as fertility and I applaud those who forge ahead and fill their hearts and homes through adoption.

Stuck - we don't have anything that we know of that's preventing us from having our own children. The tests we have done do not indicate anything wrong with either of us. We suffered two losses in our first year of trying and haven't been able to get pregnant since. 4 and a half years of trying with no positive. We are an anomaly. We made a conscious decision to not medically get pregnant. I don't know why really, but when we've talked about it and prayed about it, we've just never felt that was our answer. Like you we have shared our love with our nieces/nephews and to our best friends kids/grandkids....and it just works for us. Acceptance is a fickle thing. On most days acceptance comes easy...but then every once in awhile it rears it's ugly head and I have to start all over down that acceptance path.

Just - I don't think I'll ever forget the pain and agony that we experienced those first two years. It was it's own kind of hell, so I understand that you can remember it. As for your friend...nothing makes me happier or smile bigger than when I hear of someone who has struggled with infertility has finally had their biggest wish come true. So congratulations to them and my best wishes for a healthy and happy baby.

Thanks everyone for your prayers and well wishes.

Oh my goodness, these posts are making me cry. Leselihau, your post really touched me, I'm so sorry and wishing everyone struggling and going through a difficult journey, peace

LOL...sorry we made you cry Alanna. It's a tricky thing talking about fertility/infertility/infant loss, it's important to talk about our experience to help educate those who don't know what it's like and because there's most likely someone in the midst of it and they need to know that they're not alone. But at the same time, I don't want anyone's pity or sorrow or even for them to feel bad for us. We're in a place of peace and have been for quite some time now. We have a marriage that is stronger than ever, families who love us unconditionally and without restraint, and a large circle of friends that share their families with us and are always around to pick us up when we need it. We really are blessed in so many ways.

leselihau,  Adding you to my prayer list.  Thanks for sharing and keeping it real.  Heart wide open to you. Miracles do happen and I'll be praying one happens for you.

Thanks Seabear...I'll always take prayers.

leselihau, much love to you. I will pray for you to have your miracle. We have considered doing foster care, but currently we are both traveling too much, so we wouldn't have someone home all the time to give the support needed. I was blessed my father adopted my mother's four children and never treated them any differently than he did me, so I learned from birth that love isn't just biological.

http://www.insideedition.com/headlines/13334-reality-tv-star-wins-mrs-south-carolina-after-7-cosmetic-surgeries

She was cuter before. Now it looks like the tip of her nose is missing. I don't see how that's a desirable look, but plastic surgeons seem to think it is.