Episode 12 - 7/22 - Bachelorette 8 - ATFR (Live) - Discussion

Bananaloaf wrote:
I think you make alot of good points in your second explanation, but ultimately I think both families are kid-friendly in the sense that they both seem to be loving and happy. And, I never thought you were measuring anything nor do I see a reason for you to be careful. :Smiley:

ironcat wrote:

Bananaloaf wrote:

ironcat wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:

Bananaloaf wrote:

RealityEscape wrote:MF - "Spoilers not accurate"; still thinking all this revolves around f2 - f3 - a way to generate buzz by saying spoilers not accurate but still with 1F ending. ( I'm in the camp that thinks a non-parent Emily, and Emily not so interested in more kids soon, would have potentially selected Ari. Fun is also very important to her but both guys appear to offer that and a lot else.) I'm just hoping they truly let Emily express why she chooses her F1 and that she can be sincere about why she didn't select F2. I'm quite certain it's Ari or Jef. (Though I can see where Sean would be a great catch for someone too!) Emily should be able to express a fairly reasonable way to let Ari down easily by saying the lifestyle not what she wants at this time. Not sure how she'd let down Jef - proabably the old tried and true - "there was a stronger attraction". Curious how others think Emily will tell her f2 why he wasn't chosen? Of course we'll never truly know the facts!!!

I have a question. I keep seeing people say that if M was 26 and didn't want kids right away she would pick Arie; however, I'm not understanding the logic of this based on what we've learned on the show. We have learned that Arie was in a relationship with a woman and that they lived together. She had two children, and he acted in somewhat of a parent role, taking them to school etc. We also learned that he wanted the marriage and family but the relationship didn't work out because the woman didn't know if she wanted more children and because he reminded her too much of her ex who was a racecar driver. We learned that what hurt him the most in the break up was how much he missed her kids. This, to me, would seem to back up that he is ready for marriage and kids. Now, we have also heard that 1F wants kids and a family etc., but we have heard his brother say that he has never before heard 1F express that this is something he wanted. Now, I'm not saying that any of this is true or not true, and I'm really not intending to be adverserial or anything. I'm really trying to understand. Can you help me out?

I think Arie wants a family, but I think the problem is Emily. They showed her being okay with Arie's travel when they talked about it early, but remember that in her talk with Arie's mom, his mom tells her they made it work but she was alone a lot.

One of the key points in the set up LCD discussion with Brad was that his lifestyle of coming home late and still leaving her to do most of the parenting was not good. Maybe as the process goes on, Emily begins to realize that yes she likes her alone time, but she really does want a partner to be there more and even Arie's mom confirmed that right now that isn't him.

I think sometimes it takes seeing the possibility of what you do want (and can have) to make you realize that something else, that seemed fine at first, really wasn't. Jef presenting Emily with an immediate secure future where she could start expanding her family while having all the support of his large clan, plus him having a job and the resources to allow them to spend a lot of time together, whether home with kids or on the road with kids, may have made the reality of Arie's different lifestyle less ideal for her than she initially envisioned. Why settle for half when you can presumably have it all? (And no, I don't think she would have reached the same conclusion if she was already madly in love with Arie by the time of HTDs, which IMO she definitely was NOT).

Before I say anything here, I think I need to include a disclaimer that I do not care who M picks and am not on a team. I am just trying to understand some of the things I'm reading. That said, why would a life with Arie be settling for half of the things you mention? Why would a life with 1F be immediately secure but a life with Arie not be? Arie has a job and the resouces to allow them to spend alot of time together, whether home with the kids or on the road, no? 1F travels for business just like Arie, doesn't he? Arie too has a supportive clan (maybe not a large one, but a supportive one), he's said he's ready to have kids, and I'm pretty confident he has the sperm (where's the darn fishy smilie when you need it ) necessary to get on expanding that family. I really see no difference between what the guys can offer her.

You may be totally correct, but it doesn't really matter the way you or I see it, what matters (and what I was speculating on) is the way Emily sees it, which I suspect is more like how I described it (even though you're free to disagree). Arie's mother described life as the wife of a racecar driver as hard, so I assume she knows what she's talking about, and I'm guessing that she didn't spend a lot of time traveling with Arie Sr. when she was raising small children. Plus when Arie had the convo with Emily, he didn't discuss the possibility of her traveling with him, he just said he's away a lot (which at the time she seemed okay with). Jef OTOH, has a business that appears to be very flexible, as he and his partners are their own bosses, and his partners also have wives and young children, and from what we've seen from following them on FB and twitter, they all seem to spend a lot of time together. And there is no denying that Jef's immediate family has many more children in it at present than Arie's does, as none of his siblings have kids of their own, so yes, Jef's immediate home environment is more kid-friendly at present. Also, there are lots of photos of Jef with young children, haven't seen too many of Arie like that, so I don't think it's a stretch to assume that perhaps that IS indicative of the different lifestyles and surroundings both men typically are in day to day?

BTW, using the word "half" was just an expression, I wasn't actually measuring, and thought that was obvious, but I guess if I'm to be taken literally on everything I write, I'll have to be more careful in the future.

pavalygurl wrote:
Emily made a comment somewhere that Arie being away for work would not be a problem since she enjoys her own space as well. I took it to be she likes the balance of having a supportive partner but likes some time to herself. Would she come to feel at all smothered by the close knit clan of Jef's family and friends? IDK

drbarb23 wrote:This is the 1st time I am writing, and I am not up to date with posting pic's etc... I love to come on and follow all your threads though. My comment is in response to MF tweeting that there is a shock at the live ATFR and "it's not over until it's over!" I am sticking with Love_Me and RS that Jef is the F1, they got engaged and are still engaged today. So with that said... I am thinking that besides the possibility of a live wedding, or a wedding date announcement being the shock, maybe Arie delivers the shocker! Maybe Arie comes out to confront Emily and then says to her (as he stated in his interview a few weeks ago) that I still think that you and I had the best connection and that I still think that we should be together and you made a big mistake. If you are questioning your decision, I still want you to reconsider and I would still like to marry you and puts her on the spot! To me that would be a shocker and fit the "It's not over till it's over" comment"! But then (since I saw a connectione with Em and Jef since epi. 2) I think she says she's happy and in love and that she is not second guessing herself. Then with Jef they announce a wedding date because Em wants to get married and have a baby "like yesterday" and Jef is head overheals and is down with it! JMO!

shoepie wrote:I hope they change the format for this live show. If they follow it, Emily will come out (crowd goes wild) and talk to Chris and then he will say "and for the first time in public they are together, welcome Jef!" They embrace as if not having seen each other since the last safe house visit. Crowd goes wild. We all know they have been talking backstage after having spent several nights togther.

I would like to see them walk out together, skipping this tired schtick; it wastes time and an hour goes by very quickly. I hope they focus on Emily and Jef rather than bringing in past couples who take too much time. Have them there but limit that.

A montage of outtakes to see more of how their relationship developed and some would be fabulous. Some time spent on Arie and Jef's relationship and how it survived through them loving the same woman. Also how many men saw her relationship with Jef and when did they know, if any did.

Diana told us a wedding was being planned so I would like to hear about that and how the move to Utah is going or will go down.

I would also like to hear what kind of time and where they spent together after the show wrapped.

I am bracing myself for some disappointment but looking forward to it being live. There is plenty of time to gather feedback and maybe someone from production will hear our wishes. I know, I know, take the needle out of my arm. :Nod:

I know, I know, take the needle out of my arm. :Nod:

Peppermom wrote:

Bananaloaf wrote:

Bloven wrote:A far as not wanting a life with a race at driver; Emily grew up around the Hendricks and thry have always been in that world and from everything I've read, they seem like very well liked and respectable people. Had Ricky not passed away, the wife of a race car driver is exactly the life she would currently be living. I'm confused as to why this is ring discussed as an issue?

I'm confused too.

You've made some great points Bananaloaf. I agree with a lot of what you've said. And Bloven, you are so correct that life in racing is exactly what M has been involved in for many years. Don't see it as a drawback.

glampam205 wrote:

Peppermom wrote:

Bananaloaf wrote:

Bloven wrote:A far as not wanting a life with a race at driver; Emily grew up around the Hendricks and thry have always been in that world and from everything I've read, they seem like very well liked and respectable people. Had Ricky not passed away, the wife of a race car driver is exactly the life she would currently be living. I'm confused as to why this is ring discussed as an issue?

I'm confused too.

You've made some great points Bananaloaf. I agree with a lot of what you've said. And Bloven, you are so correct that life in racing is exactly what M has been involved in for many years. Don't see it as a drawback.

I don't think Arie is a "race car driver" primarily now. He was when he was younger but now he seems to be primarily a Racing Commentator (in front of the TV) for NBC or some other channel

Jeepers wrote:Uuummmmm. Don't the MTA folks get to see the finale as well .. Up to the RC itself?!?!?