Vent/Complaint Department - Bachelorette 8 - Discussion

don't know if this is new in Emily's season, or if this has been the habit all along here on this new forum. But it seems that nowadays detective-work has been abandoned in favor of idol worship, fan warring, and outright mocking (for pages and pages) of those that might post evidence that might tarnish another's special snowflake. This forum feels like a very hostile place where it's best to just lurk and not dare share one's opinions or evidence, for fear of being tarred and feathered.

This is the first season out of many that I have ever had to think about whether or not I should post. EVER. On any message board. And I do not attribute this to our lovely hostesses. They are great and try to bend over backwards to please all.

A couple of key posts that I do agree with. I was over the moon excited for Emily's season because she has always been my favorite. But I rarely come on this site, and when I do it is just to check the About the Site thread for birthdays and what is happening around you.

This season has been so different from the lasts. With shaky spoilers and a ton of SC's, Brad and Ashley's season was down to the nitty griddy dissecting SC's. But this season with a definite spoiler (for those who choose to believe it) and a minimal amount of SC's I think tension arises much more quickly.

JM2C

Love your thoughts, jello shots! The lack of screens makes me ever curious about TPTB's intentions. They know about sleuthers and their methods.

I don't ever want to the return to the days of "infractions, timeouts, and censored thoughts" as found at the former home of many posting here. Back in the day, I remember rereading my posts over and over just in case it could land me in posting prison (again) there.

So, the stark contrast of there with here, serves as my motivation and guide if certain posts sometimes bait, offend, annoy me. At times, certain points in posts get lost in translation, too. In any case, the down arrow can be a friend.

NCGalBecca wrote:I don't ever want to the return to the days of "infractions, timeouts, and censored thoughts" as found at the former home of many posting here. Back in the day, I remember rereading my posts over and over just in case it could land me in posting prison (again) there.

So, the stark contrast of there with here, serves as my motivation and guide if certain posts sometimes bait, offend, annoy me. At times, certain points in posts get lost in translation, too. In any case, the down arrow can be a friend.

Word!!!

It was very difficult at FORT to post anything that didn't get the mods panties in a bunch.

Yes, the FOE option is a wonderful tool on here. I am currently using this option. What I like about it is I understand that while I may not really care for or like what some posters have to say this season, I might the next. Heck, we could be the biggest fan-girly buddies next season who knows. If I am in another thread like Bachelor Pad or whatever I can choose to read their posts and usually I do. However, I have accepted that I am not anywhere near on the same page as these folks this season and neither one of us are going to change our minds. No biggie maybe next season will be different but I am done defending my opinion or trying to convince them to change theirs.

I don't know how I feel about all of the rules. I think we could benefit from some more specific do's and don't's but I don't know if San or Love have the time to read through every thread to enforce all of the rules. Didn't FORT have like 10 or more mods? I think more help would be needed if this was the route we were going to go.

I don't know if anyone remembers this from FORT ( I know I have because I received an infraction for it :Smiley: ) but you were not allowed to "Bait" other posters. Posting in a manner that they only way for one to respond comes off as a personal attack. Why some post with the intention to get a rise of out of me ... I don't understand. It's obvious I like Arie (he is in my sig line and he will stay there even after this season is long over) so if you want to make fun of or snark on him - by all means go ahead... I know he is far from perfect but I don't understand the purpose of quoting a post of mine only to mock him ... it makes me think you are trying to get ME to snap - which is weird.

I agree NCgal! I don't want to have to worry about the punishments from the past board! That's one reason I almost never posted and just basically lurked...was scared I would receive an infraction for some silly reason I didn't even realize would get me one. I love it here! I haven't used the foe button (yet), I just skip of posts that I don't want to read.

Ladybug82 wrote:I agree NCgal! I don't want to have to worry about the punishments from the past board! That's one reason I almost never posted and just basically lurked...was scared I would receive an infraction for some silly reason I didn't even realize would get me one. I love it here! I haven't used the foe button (yet), I just skip of posts that I don't want to read.

That's my bottom line. It seems like every season things get real nasty around this time because ________ is Bachelor/ette's true love. Which hey, been there in years past and you get attached to that "character" (because really on an edited TV show that's pretty much what it is) and get really defensive about that person or their relationship with the Bachelor/ette. This year has been different for me in that I really liked all F3. It's been nice being on the sidelines and realizing that getting upset over a post on a message board is just not worth it. I really appreciate how flexible San and Love are and have been and what a fun message board they have created and maintained. So it drives me bonkers to think that they're dealing with people getting their panties in a wad over stupid crap.

When all is said and done, this is why I'm team Emily takes all F3 to Utah and has a harem. And they film it.:whistle:

black_tears wrote:

When all is said and done, this is why I'm team Emily takes all F3 to Utah and has a harem. And they film it.:whistle:

Now THERE is a fantasy I could enjoy!!!

noobsleuth wrote:Yes, the FOE option is a wonderful tool on here. I am currently using this option. What I like about it is I understand that while I may not really care for or like what some posters have to say this season, I might the next. Heck, we could be the biggest fan-girly buddies next season who knows. If I am in another thread like Bachelor Pad or whatever I can choose to read their posts and usually I do. However, I have accepted that I am not anywhere near on the same page as these folks this season and neither one of us are going to change our minds. No biggie maybe next season will be different but I am done defending my opinion or trying to convince them to change theirs.

I don't know how I feel about all of the rules. I think we could benefit from some more specific do's and don't's but I don't know if San or Love have the time to read through every thread to enforce all of the rules. Didn't FORT have like 10 or more mods? I think more help would be needed if this was the route we were going to go.

I don't know if anyone remembers this from FORT ( I know I have because I received an infraction for it :Smiley: ) but you were not allowed to "Bait" other posters. Posting in a manner that they only way for one to respond comes off as a personal attack. Why some post with the intention to get a rise of out of me ... I don't understand. It's obvious I like Arie (he is in my sig line and he will stay there even after this season is long over) so if you want to make fun of or snark on him - by all means go ahead... I know he is far from perfect but I don't understand the purpose of quoting a post of mine only to mock him ... it makes me think you are trying to get ME to snap - which is weird.

I so appreciated reading your comments! I bolded the one that was really important to me. This really says it all. That was one rule that I did think was very effective. We have seen too much of that this season. If you know that someone has a favorite and you go out of your way to say something mean or nasty or make fun of that person, then that is the essence of baiting. I think it's especially egregious on a forum like this because of the bad feelings it creates. It also puts the other person on the defensive and makes it even more difficult to respond. So it has kind of a domino effect. It serves no purpose, because that person won't stop liking their favorite. So it is a useless and destructive exercise.

I do have to say that this is one rule that I wish we had here - no baiting!

The other thing I wanted to say after reading some of the comments here, is that if you don't like sarcasm or snark you are going to have a tough time on any forum. This one is much more civilized than many online forums that follow this show. I agree with others that the foe button is your friend if ignoring posts doesn't work.

Except... one person's honest opinion, can be a fangirl's 'bait'...

In fact, some would judge THIS post as bait...

Wait... maybe I should rephrase it...

Or not post it at all...

Jack wrote:

LoveDovez wrote:

mprssdbyu wrote:I don't think it's fair to Love or San to ask that they implement rules. First of all, it's not in their character to be "Judge Judy." They have more patience than most saints but don't take advantage of it! For some reason, it has yet to sink in... It's not a FAN BOARD so anything outside of "hoping harm" comes to someone is acceptable and of course bashing someone or their opinion. If they make requests, follow those requests. I have no idea why that is so hard to get or understand!!!

I had to choose the FOE button as my friend. It's working quite well. No rise out of me equals ...you been FOED. It really works after all.

I don't know how anybody could have mistaken this for a FAN BOARD... I understood that back before it was posted for the 999,999,999th time that it isn't.

So Dove, who won't end up in a divorce by summer's end, and who deserves someone better than Emily? = = = WAIT!!!! DON'T ANSWER!!!! I was just kidding! Really! Bad joke!!! This isn't a fan board! I just wanted to get your number up to 1,000,000,000 without you having to round up!.

:Woah-hoo: :Woah-hoo: :Woah-hoo: :Woah-hoo: ; )

LoveDovez wrote:

Jack wrote:

LoveDovez wrote:

mprssdbyu wrote:I don't think it's fair to Love or San to ask that they implement rules. First of all, it's not in their character to be "Judge Judy." They have more patience than most saints but don't take advantage of it! For some reason, it has yet to sink in... It's not a FAN BOARD so anything outside of "hoping harm" comes to someone is acceptable and of course bashing someone or their opinion. If they make requests, follow those requests. I have no idea why that is so hard to get or understand!!!

I had to choose the FOE button as my friend. It's working quite well. No rise out of me equals ...you been FOED. It really works after all.

I don't know how anybody could have mistaken this for a FAN BOARD... I understood that back before it was posted for the 999,999,999th time that it isn't.

So Dove, who won't end up in a divorce by summer's end, and who deserves someone better than Emily? = = = WAIT!!!! DON'T ANSWER!!!! I was just kidding! Really! Bad joke!!! This isn't a fan board! I just wanted to get your number up to 1,000,000,000 without you having to round up!.

:Woah-hoo: :Woah-hoo: :Woah-hoo: :Woah-hoo: ; )

Right and let's not forget the 999,999,999 fangirl comments that caused people to have to say it's not a fan forum!