Episode 3 - 6/6 - Discussion - Spoilers

JP has my heart lol

Max64 wrote: I didn't take it that way. He's dated off and on from the age of 22-30 and was in a 2 1/2 yr relationship. When asked who broke it off, he said mostly him, because it just wasn't there, not that he didn't care. JP didn't elaborate on the why, but given some of his VO's in the previews, makes it sound like he's been hurt in the past too. Whether JP is F1 or not, I think that conversation was important to the story. You take risks, fall in love, get hurt sometimes, but move on and finally meet someone great.

The bolded is how I heard it, as well -- saying "it wasn't there" is very different from "he didn't care." (Sorry for the rhyming. LOL)

Alanna wrote:

Bloomers wrote:
It's kind of a curious thing, here. In one sense, JP looks like the best thing since sliced toast. However, we look at his bio, and we see that they list 3 rather negative traits that they would like for us to know about JP. Not positive things like other guys, mind you...

To add to that there is an interesting little exchange of which I have heard no comment. Ashley asks JP about the duration of his relationships. He tells her that one lasted 2 and 1/2 years. When she asked who ended it, JP freely answers that he did, and essentially says that it was because he just wasn't feeling it.
When Ashley questions him as to what if he hurts her, he just casually throws back that you have to take risks.

Wait a minute!! This guy just told her he broke up a 2 and 1/2 year relationship because he didn't care, and he is saying that to someone who the edit has shown us has a broken heart, and he wants her to take that risk with him? Does this little piece in the edit not look a little strange to anyone else?

Ashley didn't react negatively so I didn't pick up on it but now that you mention it, I guess you're right, it IS weird- both in terms of edit and real life. Both edited Ashley and the flesh and blood one need a man who is very reassuring and all in with her and only her because she's so sensitive, and in the context of the show, shattered by Bentley. She has to know he's always feeling 'IT' and won't leave her, that option shouldn't even be on the table.

I guess it's their obstacle maybe? Proving that it's for keeps and he won't just fall out of love randomly?

IA with both of you...I do think this convo will be important down the line. JP "the heartbreaker" coupled with his competitive edit could be a red flag. In the end Ashley may not be feeling it for JP, and she breaks his heart by sending him away at F2. Conversely it could be used as Ash's doubt/obstacle....do I take a chance on JP and get my heart broken? Either way I think it it important.

What did pique my interest in the last episode was Ash's VO in the preview at the end of the show. She said in a optimistic/upbeat voice something along the lines of " .... and unexpected things CAN happen" This wasn't a full sentence and could be about anything but does it give a clue to the ending? Does it indicate that Ben comes out of left field, a guy that had to wait until episode 5/6 to get his first 1-1? Is it someone Ashley had overlooked romantically initially and they were more friends. They obviously get along by the number of clips of Ash sitting next to him in group situations.

I was 100% on the JP bandwagon the first week, but Ben's percentage is increasing weekly with me and I can't recall them having a conversation at this point! The biggest detractor from JP as F1 is that they have not shown any interaction with any other of the F4 and we are into week 4. This seems "off" to me. Also Ash's comments about the front runner changing throughout gives some hope for a Ben F1. And her comments about her guy having all these things going on but being very modest seems to favor Ben IMO.

connorsmom wrote:

Max64 wrote: I didn't take it that way. He's dated off and on from the age of 22-30 and was in a 2 1/2 yr relationship. When asked who broke it off, he said mostly him, because it just wasn't there, not that he didn't care. JP didn't elaborate on the why, but given some of his VO's in the previews, makes it sound like he's been hurt in the past too. Whether JP is F1 or not, I think that conversation was important to the story. You take risks, fall in love, get hurt sometimes, but move on and finally meet someone great.

The bolded is how I heard it, as well -- saying "it wasn't there" is very different from "he didn't care." (Sorry for the rhyming. LOL)

We are talking words and meanings here! Does it make any difference in the long run to the relationship? To that girl who was going with him for 2 and 1/2 years, was she still going with him if he did not care about being in the relationship as opposed to "he wasn't feeling it"?
It was still over for her either way that you cut it, and if she had any expectations of a future with him, they were gone! Over, finite, finished regardless of whether he wasn't feeling anymore with her or whether he didn't care about the relationship anymore.

You will find that though I often try hard to explain things thoroughly ( the Middle School teacher!), sometimes I just cut straight to the chase! He just no longer cared about being in the relationship, and he got out as hurtful as that sounds.
Most of us have been there on the hurtful end, and probably a bunch have been on the end that have found themselves on the end that had to find themselves a way to try to end a relationship that wasn't meant to be at least for them - life in one of its messy parts.

I've ended a few relationships because I just didn't see a future there. Person was nice enough but I wasn't feeling it anymore. I found it to be more cruel to string these people along and act like it was ok instead of just ending something that wasn't really work.

So I guess what I'm hearing here is that JP shouldn't have ended the relationship? He should have just stuck it out even though there was nothing there?

causingchaos wrote:I've ended a few relationships because I just didn't see a future there. Person was nice enough but I wasn't feeling it anymore. I found it to be more cruel to string these people along and act like it was ok instead of just ending something that wasn't really work.

So I guess what I'm hearing here is that JP shouldn't have ended the relationship? He should have just stuck it out even though there was nothing there?

We are missing the point here. We have to look at what is happening in the edit. It is not about all of our (the viewers') personal relationships and what we should or should not do!

Ashley, according to the edit we are shown, is literally crushed and heart-broken on this date with JP. Now that is the edit that we are given. Here is this guy who is supposedly re-assuring her, and he tells her that he ended a 2 and 1/2 year relationship because he wasn't feeling it. Then he tells her people have to take risks, and the whole implication is that this crushed, heart-broken girl should take a risk with him who broke off his longest relationship because he wasn't feeling it.

Doesn't anybody else see the irony here?

Bloomers wrote:

causingchaos wrote:I've ended a few relationships because I just didn't see a future there. Person was nice enough but I wasn't feeling it anymore. I found it to be more cruel to string these people along and act like it was ok instead of just ending something that wasn't really work.

So I guess what I'm hearing here is that JP shouldn't have ended the relationship? He should have just stuck it out even though there was nothing there?

We are missing the point here. We have to look at what is happening in the edit. It is not about all of our (the viewers') personal relationships and what we should or should not do!

Ashley, according to the edit we are shown, is literally crushed and heart-broken on this date with JP. Now that is the edit that we are given. Here is this guy who is supposedly re-assuring her, and he tells her that he ended a 2 and 1/2 year relationship because he wasn't feeling it. Then he tells her people have to take risks, and the whole implication is that this crushed, heart-broken girl should take a risk with him who broke off his longest relationship because he wasn't feeling it.

Doesn't anybody else see the irony here?

Yeah, I see it and I agree with you. It's either an obstacle (F1, she heals and takes a risk) or it's the kiss of death (he's the wrong one, she needs someone more "stable).

Bloomers wrote:

causingchaos wrote:I've ended a few relationships because I just didn't see a future there. Person was nice enough but I wasn't feeling it anymore. I found it to be more cruel to string these people along and act like it was ok instead of just ending something that wasn't really work.

So I guess what I'm hearing here is that JP shouldn't have ended the relationship? He should have just stuck it out even though there was nothing there?

We are missing the point here. We have to look at what is happening in the edit. It is not about all of our (the viewers') personal relationships and what we should or should not do!

Ashley, according to the edit we are shown, is literally crushed and heart-broken on this date with JP. Now that is the edit that we are given. Here is this guy who is supposedly re-assuring her, and he tells her that he ended a 2 and 1/2 year relationship because he wasn't feeling it. Then he tells her people have to take risks, and the whole implication is that this crushed, heart-broken girl should take a risk with him who broke off his longest relationship because he wasn't feeling it.

Doesn't anybody else see the irony here?

Okay, oh great middle school teacher...cut to the chase! What do you see as the irony here? Please tell... :awesome:

When Ashley asked who ended it (sounds like she was talking about all of his relationships, from the 2 1/2 yr one to the few months relationships) he said "mostly me - there was always just something missing, like "it" was always missing" Ashley said "if you were always breaking up with girls, how do I know that you're not going to break up with me?" he said "well, that's a wonderful question" and she says "I guess you never really know"...... and that's when he says "you don't, you know you take a leap of faith and you get hurt - but time heals all you just move on and things get put into perspective and eventually you meet an amazing girl and things change" she says "cheers to that"

All I get from that conversation was that he just hasn't met the right girl yet. Seems like the normal reason that most guys and girls aren't married yet. If he was in a 2 1/2 yr relationship, that seems to indicate that he can commit, but if you're not feeling forever with them, then breaking up before a marriage and children are involved is the wise, adult thing to do. No red flags from me about his past. He seems like a wonderful man, just hadn't met the right girl, up until now, that is

I personally dont think JP is final 1, even with her best friend hinting at it. I dont think the best friend knows who it is either because contractually she Ashley H has to keep her trap shut. She said the unexpected does happen and that is what I am hoping for, because if she was with JP after bentley and at the RC she was still down and crying it is not a good fit for him to be the final 1. He just did not cheer her up enough. In future episode bentley comes back and JP will get the effect again will it end the same way or will the next episode be someone else cheering her up after her time with JP and Bentley the prick?

northernviewer wrote:When Ashley asked who ended it (sounds like she was talking about all of his relationships, from the 2 1/2 yr one to the few months relationships) he said "mostly me - there was always just something missing, like "it" was always missing" Ashley said "if you were always breaking up with girls, how do I know that you're not going to break up with me?" he said "well, that's a wonderful question" and she says "I guess you never really know"...... and that's when he says "you don't, you know you take a leap of faith and you get hurt - but time heals all you just move on and things get put into perspective and eventually you meet an amazing girl and things change" she says "cheers to that"

All I get from that conversation was that he just hasn't met the right girl yet. Seems like the normal reason that most guys and girls aren't married yet. If he was in a 2 1/2 yr relationship, that seems to indicate that he can commit, but if you're not feeling forever with them, then breaking up before a marriage and children are involved is the wise, adult thing to do. No red flags from me about his past. He seems like a wonderful man, just hadn't met the right girl, up until now, that is

I took it the same way, that he did not meet the right girl yet. No red flags, yet.

Bloomers wrote: It's kind of a curious thing, here. In one sense, JP looks like the best thing since sliced toast. However, we look at his bio, and we see that they list 3 rather negative traits that they would like for us to know about JP. Not positive things like other guys, mind you...

To add to that there is an interesting little exchange of which I have heard no comment. Ashley asks JP about the duration of his relationships. He tells her that one lasted 2 and 1/2 years. When she asked who ended it, JP freely answers that he did, and essentially says that it was because he just wasn't feeling it.
When Ashley questions him as to what if he hurts her, he just casually throws back that you have to take risks.

Wait a minute!! This guy just told her he broke up a 2 and 1/2 year relationship because he didn't care, and he is saying that to someone who the edit has shown us has a broken heart, and he wants her to take that risk with him? Does this little piece in the edit not look a little strange to anyone else?

not lost on me - I've posted throughout this board JPs dating history, let's not forget the 2-3 month relationships that he had over the course of his 20s. There's a reason they let us hear that - and it makes me wonder what other red flags will pop up.